3   182;!  01152  6944 


THE 


PETERKIN  PAPERS 


BY 


LUCRETIA  P.  HALE 
fc 


CJElitfj  Illustrations. 


BOSTON : 
JAMES   R.    OSGOOD   AND   COMPANY, 

1880. 


t,  1880. 
BY  JAMES    R.   O8QOOD   &  OO. 

All  Rights  Reserved. 


Wright  .t  1'otter  Printing  Company,  No.  18  Post  Office  Square,  Boston. 


THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS: 

Dcimatcto 

TO     MEGGIE 

(THE  DAUGHTER  OF  THE  LADY  FROM  PHILADELPHIA), 

I 

TO   WHOM  THESE   STORIES   WERE  FIRST  TOLD. 


PKEF  ACE. 


HOW  THE  PETERKIN3  CAME  TO  PUBLISH  THEIR 
ADYEHTURES. 


THE  Peterkin  family  were  discussing  certain 
troubles  of  theirs  that  occurred  one  night  when 
they  had  been  to  the  Carnival  of  Authors  in 
Boston.  They  were  much  distressed  with  the 
difficulty  of  making  people  understand  about  it. 
Their  neighbors  were  constantly  asking  why 
it  was  they  went  in  costume,  and  why  they 
were  kept  out  of  their  own  house  and  obliged 
to  spend  the  night  at  the  statign.  Many 
strange  stories  were  abroad,  and  it  was  not 
agreeable  to  be  so  talked  over,  certainly,  with 
out  chance  of  explanation.  Solomon  John 
then  suggested  that  a  true  account  of  their 
adventures  should  be  written  out,  and  pub 
lished  in  all  of  the  leading  papers. 


6  PREFACE. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  shrank  from  this;  it  would 
make  the  whole  matter  more  public  than  ever. 

Mr.  Peterkin  asked  if  she  would  prefer  a 
book  of  their  adventures  ;  she  declared  that  she 
would,  for  there  would  be  the  covers,  which 
would  seem  to  shut  it  up,  and  make  the  matter 
less  public. 

Mr.  Peterkin  thought  a  book  might  contain 
other  adventures  of  the  family.  Solomon  John 
would  have  written  a  book  before  now,  if  he 
had  known  what  to  write.  Why  not  mention 
that  fact?  The  history  of  their  troubles  with 
keys  would  explain  in  part  the  difficulty  of  get 
ting  into  their  own  house  the  night  of  the  Car 
nival,  for  if  Agamemnon's  invention  of  "one 
key  alone  necessary,"  had  been  patented,  they 
would  have  been  saved  this  perplexity. 

Each  one  of  the  family  recalled  some  event 
that  might  form  the  subject  of  a  chapter. 
Mrs.  Peterkin  reminded  them  of  their  Fourth  of 
July  explosion,  and  the  fire.  Elizabeth  Eliza 
thought  the  worst  day  was,  when  there  was  no 
fire,  but  the  engines  insisted  on  coming,  and 


PREFACE.  7 

the   engineer  insisted  there   was.     The    little 

O 

boys  were  enchanted  with  the  idea  of  a  book. 
They  could  remember  such  remarkable  adven 
tures  :  their  going  to  the  menagerie,  and  Solo 
mon  John's  expedition  for  cider.  If  there  were 
not  enough  adventures  they  would  get  up 
some  new  ones. 

They  could  write  some  chapters  themselves, 
only  they  were  not  sure  about  the  spelling  part. 
Mr.  Peterkin  shook  his  head.  "  Of  what  use 
were  the  common  schools,  if  his  boys  could 
not  spell?" 

Elizabeth  Eliza  objected  to  a  book.  None 
of  the  neighbors  had  done  anything  of  the  sort. 
She  would  be  glad  to  have  some  explanation 
of  the  affair  of  the  Carnival,  because  such 
stories  about  it  had  gone  abroad  in  the  town. 
Still,  would  it  be  safe  to  say  all  they  felt  about 
the  policeman  ?  She  would  not  wish  to  offend 
him,  but  surely  he  was  in  fault. 

Agamemnon,  at  last,  suggested  they  should 
consult  the  lady  from  Philadelphia.  She  had 
always  been  interested  in  their  adventures,  and 


8  PREFACE. 

if  she  gave  her  consent  it  would  be  all  right. 
Elizabeth  Eliza  agreed  to  this,  and  it  was  pro 
posed  she  should  write  to  the  lady  from  Phil 
adelphia  for  advice.  Still  Elizabeth  Eliza  was 
reluctant  to  send  on  the  whole  story  of  their 
sufferings  the  night  of  the  Carnival.  It  would 
take  a  great  deal  of  postage,  and  they  might 
not  get  on  the  right  stamps  ;  and  if  so,  it  would 
go  to  the  dead-letter  office,  and  never  be  heard 
of  again,  and  all  the  work  of  writing  would  be 
wasted.  They  were  so  particular  now  at  the 
post-office.  And  perhaps  the  lady  from  Phil 
adelphia  would  be  away,  perhaps  they  had 
better  wait  till  she  came  on  in  the  summer. 

The  whole  family  objected  to  this.  Agamem 
non  was  sure  it  would  take  a  long  time  to  get 
out  the  book  anyhow,  and  there  ought  to  be  no 
delay. 

Solomon  John  suggested  a  postal  card. 
Everybody  reads  a  postal,  and  everybody  would 
read  it  as  it  came  along,  and  see  its  importance, 
and  help  it  on.  If  the  lady  from  Philadelphia 
were  away,  her  family  and  all  her  servants 


PREFACE.  9 

would  read  it,  and  send  it  after  her,  for 
answer. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  thought  the  postal  a  bright 
idea.  It  would  not  take  so  long  to  write  as  a 
letter,  and  would  not  be  so  expensive.  But 
could  they  get  the  whole  subject  on  a  postal  ? 

The  little  boys  suggested  you  might  send 
two,  and  have  it  continued  on  the  second  postal. 

But  Mr.  Peterkin  believed  there  could  be  no 
difficulty,  there  was  but  one  question  : 

Shall  the  Adventures  of  the  Peterkin  family 
be  published  ? 

This  was  decided  upon,  and  there  was  room 
for  each  of  the  family  to  sign,  the  little  boys 
contenting  themselves  with  rough  sketches  of 
their  india-rubber  boots. 

Mr.  Peterkin,  Agamemnon,  and  Solomon 
John  took  the  postal  card  to  the  post-office 
early  one  morning,  and  by  the  afternoon  of 
that  very  day,  and  all  the  next  day,  and  for 
many  days,  came  streaming  in  answers  on  pos 
tals  and  in  letters.  Their  card  had  been 
addressed  to  the  lady  from  Philadelphia,  with 


10  PREFACE. 

the  number  of  her  street.  But  it  must  have 
been  read  by  their  neighbors  in  their  own  town 
post-office  before  leaving;  it  must  have  been 
read  along  its  way,  for  by  each  mail  came  piles 
of  postals  and  letters  from  town  after  town, 
in  answer  to  the  question  ;  and  all  in  the  same 
tone  :  M  Yes,  yes  ;  publish  the  adventures  of  the 
Pctcrkin  family." 

"  Publish  them,  of  course." 

And  in  time  came  the  answer  of  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia : 

"Yes,  of  course;  publish  them." 

This  is  why  they  are  now  published. 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS. 


FAGX 

The  Lady  Who  Put  Salt  in  Her  Coffee, ....  13 

About  Elizabeth  Eliza's  Piano, 21 

Solomon  John  Goes  for  Apples  and  Cider,     ...  23 

The  Peterkius  Try  to  Become  Wise,       ....  29 

The  Peterkins  at  the  Menagerie, 34 

Mrs.  Peterkin  Wishes  to  go  to  Drive,     .        .        .        .42 

The  Peterkins  at  Home, 46 

Why  the  Peterkius  Had  a  Late  Dinner,        ...  49 

The  Peterkins'  Summer  Journey, 54 

The  Peterkius'  Journey  Again  Postponed,     ...  61 

The  Peterkius  Suowed-up, 67 

The  Peterkius  Decide  to  Keep  a  Cow,   ....  75 

The  Peterkins'  Christmas-tree, 82 

The  Peterkins  at  the  Centennial, 91 

Mrs.  Peterkin's  Tea-party, 108 

The  Peterkins  Too  Late  for  the  Exhibition, .        .        .  119 

The  Peterkins  Celebrate  the  "  Fourth,"         ...  127 
The  Peterkins'  Picnic,      .        .        .        .        .        .        .141 

The  Peterkins'  Charades, 151 

The  Peterkins  are  Obliged  to  Move,       ....  161 

The  Peterkins  Decide  to  Learn  the  Languages,   .        .  173 

Modern  Improvements  at  the  Peterkins',      .        .        .  185 

Agamemnon's  Career, 198 

The  Educational  Breakfast, 210 

The  Peterkins  at  the  "  Carnival  of  Authors  "  in  Boston,  228 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTKATTCOTS. 


MRS.  PETERKIN  PUTS  SALT  INTO  HER  COFFEE,  .       .        Front. 

SOLOMON  JOHN'S  BOOK, 32 

THE  PETERKINS'  SUMMER  JOURNEY, 56 

THE  PETERKINS  SNOWED-UP, 72 

MRS.  PETEHKIN'S  TEA-PARTY, 112 

THE  PETERKINS'  CHARADES, 151 

THE  PETERKINS  ARE  MOVED, 161 

THE  PETEHKINS  DETERMINE  TO  STUDY  THE  LANGUAGES,  173 


THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 


THE  LADY  WHO  PUT  SALT  IN  HER  COFFEE. 


THIS  was  Mrs.  Peterkin.  It  -was  a  mistake.  She 
had  poured  out  a  delicious  cup  of  coffee,  and,  just  as 
she  was  helping  herself  to  cream,  she  found  she  had 
put  in  salt  instead  of  sugar !  It  tasted  bad.  What 
should  she  do?  Of  course  she  couldn't  drink  the 
coffee  ;  so  she  called  in  the  famity,  for  she  was  sitting 
at  a  late  breakfast  all  alone.  The  family  came  in  ; 
they  all  tasted,  and  looked,  and  wondered  what 
should  be  done,  and  all  sat  down  to  think. 

At  last  Agamemnon,  who  had  been  to  college, 
said,  "  Why  don't  we  go  over  and  ask  the  advice  of 
the  chemist?"  (For  the  chemist  lived  over  the  way, 
and  was  a  very  wise  man.) 

Mrs.  Peterkin  said,  "Yes,"  and  Mr.  Peterkin 
said,  "Very  well,"  and  all  the  children  said  they 
would  go  too.  So  the  little  boys  put  on  their  india- 
rubber  boots,  an*d  over  they  went. 

Now  the  chemist  was  just  trying  to  find  out  some 
thing  which  should  turn  everything  it  touched  into 


14  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

gold ;  and  he  had  a  large  glass  bottle  into  which  he 
put  all  kinds  of  gold  and  silver,  and  many  other  val 
uable  things,  and  melted  them  all  up  over  the  fire, 
till  he  had  almost  found  what  he  wanted.  He  could 
turn  things  into  almost  gold.  But  just  now  he  had 
used  up  all  the  gold  that  he  had  round  the  house, 
and  gold  was  high.  He  had  used  up  his  wife's  gold 
thimble  and  his  great-grandfather's  gold-bowed  spec 
tacles  ;  and  he  had  melted  up  the  gold  head  of  his 
great-great-grandfather's  cane  ;  and,  just  as  the  Pet- 
crkin  family  came  in,  he  was  down  on  his  knees 
before  his  wife,  asking  her  to  let  him  have  her  wed 
ding-ring  to  melt  up  with  all  the  rest,  because  this 
time  he  knew  he  should  succeed,  and  should  be  able 
to  turn  everything  into  gold ;  and  then  she  could 
have  a  new  wedding-ring  of  diamonds,  all  set  in 
emeralds  and  rubies  and  topazes,  and  all  the  furni 
ture  could  be  turned  into  the  finest  of  gold. 

Now  his  wife  was  just  consenting  when  the  Peter- 
kin  family  burst  in.  You  can  imagine  how  mad  the 
chemist  was !  He  came  near  throwing  his  crucible 
—  that  was  the  name  of  his  melting-pot  —  at  all  their 
heads.  But  he  didn't.  He  listened  as  calmly  as  he 
could  to  the  story  of  how  Mrs.  Peterkin  had  put  salt 
in  her  coffee. 

At  first  he  said  he  couldn't  do  anything  about  it ; 
but  when  Agamemnon  said  they  would  pay  in  gold 


THE   LADY   WHO   PUT   SALT   IN   HER   COFFEE.         15 

if  he  would  only  go,  he  packed  up  his  bottles  in  a 
leather  case,  and  went  back  with  them  all. 

First  he  looked  at  the  coffee,  and  then  stirred  it. 
Then  he  put  in  a  little  chlorate  of  potassiuma  and  the 
family  tried  it  all  round ;  but  it  tasted  no  better. 
Then  he  stirred  in  a  little  bichlorate  of  magnesia. 
But  Mrs.  Peterkiu  didn't  like  that.  Then  he  added 
some  tartaric  acid  and  some  hj-persulphate  of  lime. 
But  no  ;  it  was  no  better.  "  I  have  it ! "  exclaimed 
the  chemist,  —  "a  little  ammonia  is  just  the  thing ! " 
No,  it  wasn't  the  thing  at  all. 

Then  he  tried  each  in  turn  some  oxalic,  c}*anic, 
acetic,  phosphoric,  chloric,  h}'percbloric,  sulphuric, 
boracic,  silicic,  nitric,  formic,  nitrous  nitric,  and  car 
bonic  ^acids.  Mrs.  Peterkiu  tasted  each,  and  said 
the  flavor  was  pleasant,  but  not  precisely  that  of 
coffee.  So  then  he  tried  a  little  calcium,  aluminum, 
barium,  and  strontium,  a  little  clear  bitumen,  and  a 
half  of  a  third  of  a  sixteenth  of  a  grain  of  arsenic. 
This  gave  rather  a  pretty  color ;  but  still  Mrs.  Per- 
erkin  ungratefully  said  it  tasted  of  anything  but 
coffee.  The  chemist  was  not  discouraged.  He  put 
in  a  little  belladonna  and  atropine,  some  granulated 
hydrogen,  some  potash,  and  a  very  little  antimony, 
finishing  off  with  a  little  pure  carbon.  But  still  Mrs. 
Peterkin  was  not  satisfied. 

The  chemist  said  that'  all  he  had  done  ought  to 


16  TUE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

have  taken  out  the  salt.  The  theory  remained  the 
same,  although  the  experiment  had  failed.  Perhaps 
a  little  starch  would  have  some  effect.  If  not,  that 
was  all  the  time  he  could  give.  He  should  like  to 
be  paid,  and  go.  They  were  all  much  obliged  to  him, 
and  willing  to  give  him  §1.37£  in  gold.  Gold  was 
now  2.G9J,  so  Mr.  Peterkin  found  in  the  newspaper. 
This  gave  Agamemnon  a  pretty  little  sum.  He  sat 
himself  down  to  do  it.  But  there  was  the  coffee ! 
All  sat  and  thought  awhile,  till  Elizabeth  Eliza  said, 
"  Why  don't  we  go  to  the  herb- woman  ?"  Elizabeth 
Eliza  was  the  only  daughter.  She  was  named  after 
her  two  aunts,  —  Elizabeth  from  the  sister  of  her 
father,  Eliza  from  her  mother's  sister.  Now  the 
herb-woman  was  an  old  woman  who  came  round  to 
sell  herbs,  and  knew  a  great  deal.  They  all  shouted 
with  joy  at  the  idea  of  asking  her,  and  Solomon 
John  and  the  younger  children  agreed  to  go  and 
find  her  too.  The  herb-woman  lived  down  at  the 
very  end  of  the  street ;  so  the  boys  put  on  their 
india-rubber  boots  again,  and  they  set  off.  It  was 
a  long  walk  through  the  village,  but  they  came  at 
last  to  the  herb- woman's  house  at  the  foot  of  a  high 
hill.  They  went  through  her  little  garden.  Here 
she  had  marigolds  and  hollyhocks,  and  old  maids, 
and  tall  sunflowers,  and  all  kinds  of  sweet-smelling 
herbs,  so  that  the  air  was  full  of  tansy-tea  and 


THE   LADY  WHO   PUT   SALT   IN   HER   COFFEE.        17 

elder-blow.  Over  the  porch  grew  a  hop-vine,  and  a 
brandy-cherry  tree  shaded  the  door,  and  a  luxuriant 
cranberry-vine  flung  its  delicious  fruit  across  the 
window.  They  went  into  a  small  parlor,  which  smelt 
very  spicy.  All  around  hung  little  bags  full  of  cat 
nip,  and  peppermint,  and  all  kinds  of  herbs ;  and 
dried  stalks  hung  from  the  ceiling;  and  on  the 
shelves  were  jars  of  rhubarb,  senna,  manna,  and 
the  like. 

But  there  was  no  little  old  woman.  She  had  gone 
up  into  the  woods  to  get  some  more  wild  herbs,  so 
they  all  thought  they  would  follow  her, —  Elizabeth 
Eliza,  Solomon  John,  and  the  little  boys.  They 
had  to  climb  up  over  high  rocks,  and  in  among 
huckleberry-boshes  and  blackbeny-vines.  But  the 
little  boys  had  their  india-rubber  boots.  At  last 
they  found  the  little  old  woman.  They  knew  her  by 
her  hat.  It  was  steeple-crowned,  without  any  vane. 
They  saw  her  digging  with  her  trowel  round  a  sassa 
fras-bush.  They  told  her  their  story, —  how  their 
mother  had  put  salt  in  her  coffee,  and  how  the 
chemist  had  made  it  worse  instead  of  better,  and 
how  their  mother  couldn't  drink  it,  and  wouldn't  she 
come  and  see  what  she  could  do?  And  she  said 
she  would,  and  took  up  her  little  old  apron  with 
pockets  all  round  all  filled  with  everlasting  and 
pennyroyal,  and  went  back  to  her  house. 


18  TOE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

There  she  stopped,  and  stuffed  her  huge  pockets 
•with  some  of  all  the  kinds  of  herbs.  She  took 
some  tansy  and  peppermint,  and  carawa3*-seed  and 
dill,  spearmint  and  cloves,  pennyroj'al  and  sweet 
marjoram,  basil  and  rosemary,  wild  thyme  and  some 
of  the  other  time, —  such  as  you  have  in  clocks, — 
sappermint  and  oppermint,  catnip,  valerian,  and 
hop ;  indeed,  there  isn't  a  kind  of  herb  you  can 
think  of  that  the  little  old  woman  didn't  have  done 
up  in  her  little  paper  bags  that  had  all  been  dried  in 
her  little  Dutch-oven.  She  packed  these  all  up,  and 
then  went  back  with  the  children,  taking  her  stick. 

Meanwhile  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  getting  quite  impa 
tient  for  her  coffee. 

As  soon  as  the  little  old  woman  came,  she  had  it 
set  over  the  fire,  and  began  to  stir  in  the  different 
herbs.  First  she  put  in  a  little  hop  for  the  bitter. 
Mrs.  Peterkin  said  it  tasted  like  hop-tea,  and  not  at 
all  like  coffee.  Then  she  tried  a  little  flagroot  and 
snakeroot,  then  some  spruce  gum  and  some  cara 
way  and  some  dill,  some  rue  and  rosemary,  some 
sweet  marjoram  and  sour,  some  oppermint  and  sap 
permint,  a  little  spearmint  and  peppermint,  some 
wild  thyme,  and  some  of  the  other  tame  time,  some 
tansy  and  basil  and  catnip  and  valerian,  and  sassa 
fras,  ginger,  and  pennyroyal.  The  children  tasted 
after  each  mixture,  but  made  up  dreadful  faces.' 


THE   LADY   WHO   PUT   SALT   IN   HER  COFFEE.        19 

Mrs,  Peterkin,  tasted,  and  did  the  same.  The  more 
the  old  woman  stirred,  and  the  more  she  put  in,  the 
worse  it  all  seemed  to  taste. 

So  the  old  woman  shook  her  head,  and  muttered 
a  few  words,  and  said  she  must  go.  She  believed 
the  coffee  was  bewitched.  She  bundled  up  her 
packets  of  herbs,  and  took  her  trowel,  and  her 
basket,  and  her  stick,  and  went  back  to  her  root  of 
sassafras,  that  she  had  left  half  in  the  ah*  and  half 
out.  And  all  she  would  take  for  pay  was  five  cents 
in  currency. 

Then  the  family  were  in  despair,  and  all  sat  and 
thought  a  great  while.  It  was  growing  late  in  the 
day,  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  hadn't  had  her  cup  of  coffee. 
At  last  Elizabeth  Eliza  said,  "The3r  say  that  the 
lady  from  Philadelphia  who  is  staj'ing  in  town  is 
ver}-  wise.  Suppose  I  go  and  ask  her  what  is  best 
to  be  done."  To  this  they  all  agreed,  it  was  a  great 
thought,  and  off  Elizabeth  Eliza  went. 

She  told  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  the  whole 
stoiy, — how  her  mother  had  put  salt  in  her  coffee, 
how  the  chemist  had  been  called  in,  how  he  tried 
everything  but  could  make  it  no  better,  and  how 
they  went  for  the  little  old  herb- woman,  and  how 
she  had  tried  in  vain,  for  her  mother  couldn't  drink 
the  coffee.  The  lady  from  Philadelphia  listened  very 
attentively,  and  then  said,  "TVTiy  doesn't  your 


20  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

mother  make  a  fresh  cup  of  coffee  ?"  Elizabeth  Eliza 
started  with  surprise.  Solomon  John  shouted  with 
joy ;  so  did  Agamemmon,  who  had  just  finished  his 
sum ;  so  did  the  little  boys,  who  had  followed  on. 
"Why  didn't  we  think  of  that?"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza ;  and  they  all  went  back  to  their  mother,  and 
she  had  her  cup  of  coffee. 


ABOUT  ELIZABETH  ELIZA'S  PIANO.  21 


ABOUT  ELIZABETH  ELIZA'S  PIANO. 


ELIZABETH  ELIZA  had  a  present  of  a  piano,  and 
she  \vas  to  take  lessons  of  the  postmaster's  daugh 
ter. 

They  decided  to  have  the  piano  set  across  the 
window  in  the  parlor,  and  the  carters  brought  it 
in,  and  went  away.  After  they  had  gone,  the 
family  all  came  in  to  look  at  the  piano ;  but  they 
found  the  carters  had  placed  it  with  its  back  turned 
towards  the  middle  of  the  room,  standing  close 
against  the  window. 

How  could  Elizabeth  Eliza  open  it?  How  could 
she  reach  the  ke}rs  to  play  upon  it? 

Solomon  John  proposed  that  they  should  open  the 
window,  which  Agamemnon  could  do  with  his  long 
arms.  Then  Elizabeth  Eliza  should  go  round  upon 
the  piazza,  and  open  the  piano.  Then  she  could 
have  her  music-stool  on  the  piazza,  and  play  upon 
the  piano  there. 

So  they  tried  this  ;  and  they  all  thought  it  was  a 
very  pretty  sight  to  see  Elizabeth  Eliza  playing  on 


22  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

the  piano,  while  she  sat  on  the  piazza,  with  the 
honeysuckle  vines  behind  her. 

It  was  very  pleasant,  too,  moonlight  evenings. 
Mr.  Peterkin  liked  to  take  a  doze  on  his  sofa  in  the 
room ;  but  the  rest  of  the  family  liked  to  sit  on  the 
piazza.  So  did  Elizabeth  Eliza,  only  she  had  to 
have  her  back  to  the  moon. 

All  this  did  very  well  through  the  summer ;  but, 
when  the  fall  came,  Mr.  Peterkin  thought  the  air 
was  too  cold  from  the  open  window,  and  the  family 
did  not  want  to  sit  out  on  the  piazza. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  practised  in  the  mornings  with  her 
cloak  on  ;  but  she  was  obliged  to  give  up  her  music 
in  the  evenings,  the  family  shivered  so. 

One  day,  when  she  was  talking  with  the  lady  from 
Philadelphia,  she  spoke  of  this  trouble. 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  looked  surprised,  and 
then  said,  "But  why  don't  you  turn  the  piano 
round?" 

One  of  the  little  boys  pertly  said,  "  It  is  a  square 
piano." 

But  Elizabeth  Eliza  went  home  directly,  and,  with 
the  help  of  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John,  turned 
the  piano  round. 

"Why  did  not  we  think  of  that  before?"  said 
Mrs.  Peterkin.  "What  shall  we  do  when  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia  goes  home  again  ?  " 


SOLOMON  JOHN  GOES  FOR  APPLES  AND  CIDEB.      23 


I 


SOLOMON  JOHN  GOES  FOR  APPLES  AUD 
CIDER. 


SOLOMON  JOHN  agreed  to  ride  to  Farmer  Jones's 
for  a  basket  of  apples,  and  he  decided  to  go  on  horse 
back.  The  horse  was  brought  round  to  the  door. 
Now  he  had  not  ridden  for  a  great  while  ;  and,  though 
the  little  boys  were  there  to  help  him,  he  had  great 
trouble  in  getting  on  the  horse. 

He  tried  a  great  many  times,  but  always  found 
himself  facing  the  wrong  way,  looking  at  the  horse's 
tail.  They  turned  the  horse's  head,  first  up  the 
street,  then  down  the  street ;  it  made  no  difference  ; 
he  always  made  some  mistake,  and  found  himself 
sitting  the  wrong  way. 

"  Well,"  said  he,  at  last,  "  I  don't  know  as  I  care. 
If  the  horse  has  his  head  in  the  right  direction,  that 
is  the  main  thing.  Sometimes  I  ride  this  waj"  in  the 
cars,  because  I  like  it  better.  I  can  turn  my  head 
easily  enough,  to  see  where  we  are  going."  So  off 
he  went,  and  the  little  boys  said  he  looked  like  a 
circus-rider,  and  they  were  much  pleased. 


24  THE  PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

He  rode  along  out  of  the  village,  under  the  elms, 
very  quietly.  Pretty  socm  he  came  to  a  bridge, 
where  the  road  went  across  a  little  stream.  There 
was  a  road  at  the  side,  leading  down  into  the  stream, 
because  sometimes  wagoners  watered  their  horses 
there.  Solomon  John's  horse  turned  off  too,  to 
drink  of  the  water. 

"Very  well,"  said  Solomon  John,  "  I  don't  blame 
him  for  wanting  to  wet  his  feet,  and  to  take  a  drink, 
this  hot  day." 

"When  they  reached  the  middle  of  the  stream,  the 
horse  bent  over  his  head. 

"How  far  his  neck  comes  into  his  back!"  ex 
claimed  Solomon  John  ;  and  at  that  very  moment  he 
found  he  had  slid  down  over  the  horse's  head,  and 
was  sitting  on  a  stone,  looking  into  the  horse's  face. 
There  were  two  frogs,  one  on  each  side  of  him,  sit 
ting  just  as  he  was,  which  pleased  Solomon  John,  so 
he  began  to  laugh  instead  of  to  cry. 

But  the  two  frogs  jumped  into  the  water. 

"  It  is  time  for  me  to  go  on,"  said  Solomon  John. 

So  he  gave  a  jump,  as  he  had  seen  the  frogs  do  ; 
and  this  tune  he  came  all  right  on  the  horse's  back, 
facing  the  way  he  was  going. 

"  It  is  a  little  pleasanter,"  said  he. 

The  horse  wanted  to  nibble  a  little  of  the  grass  by 
the  side  of  the  way ;  but  Solomon  John  remembered 


SOLOMON  JOHN  GOES  FOR  APPLES  AND  CIDER.       25 

what  a  long  neck  he  had,  and  would  not  let  him 
stop. 

At  last  he  reached  Farmer  Jones's,  who  gave  him 
his  basket  of  apples. 

Next  he  was  to  go  on  to  a  cider-mill,  up  a  little 
lane  by  Farmer  Jones's  house,  to  get  a  jug  of  cider. 
But  as  soon  as  the  horse  was  turned  into  the  lane,  he 
began  to  walk  very  slowly,  —  so  slowly  that  Solomon 
John  thought  he  would  not  get  there  before  night. 
He  whistled,  and  shouted,  and  thrust  his  knees  into 
the  horser  but  still  he  would  not  go. 

' '  Perhaps  the  apples  are  too  heavy  for  him,"  said 
he.  So  he  began  by  throwing  one  of  the  apples  out 
of  the  basket.  It  hit  the  fence  by  the  side  of  the 
road,  and  that  started  up  the  horse,  and  he  went  on 
merrily. 

"That  was  the  trouble,"  said  Solomon  John; 
"  that  apple  was  too  heavy  for  him." 

But  very  soon  the  horse  began  to  go  slower  and 
slower.  - 

So  Solomon  John  thought  he  would  try  another 
apple.  This  hit  a  large  rock,  and  bounded  back 
under  the  horse's  feet,  and  sent  him  off  at  a  great 
pace.  But  very  soon  he  fell  again  into  a  slow  walk. 

Solomon  John  had  to  try  another  apple.  This 
time  it  fell  into  a  pool  of  water,  and  made  a  great 
splash,  and  set  the  horse  out  again  for  a  little  while  ; 


26  THE   PETERK1N   PAPERS. 

but  he  soon  returned  to  a  slow  walk,  —  so  slow  that 
Solomon  John  thought  it  would  be  to-morrow  morn 
ing  before  he  got  to  the  cider-mill. 

"It  is  rather  a  waste  of  apples,"  thought  he ; 
"  but  I  can  pick  them  up  as  I  come  back,  because 
the  horse  will  be  going  home  at  a  quick  pace." 

So  he  flung  out  another  apple  ;  that  fell  among  a 
party  of  ducks,  and  the}7  began  to  make  such  a 
quacking  and  a  waddling,  that  it  frightened  the  horse 
into  a  quick  trot. 

So  the  only  way  Solomon  John  could  make  hia 
horse  go  was  b}'  flinging  his  apples,  now  on  one  side, 
now  on  the  other.  One  time  he  frightened  a  cow, 
that  ran  along  by  the  side  of  the  road,  while  the 
horse  raced  with  her.  Another  time  he  started  op  a 
brood  of  turkeys,  that  gobbled  and  strutted  enough 
to  startle  twenty  horses.  In  another  place  he  came 
near  hitting  a  boy,  who  gave  such  a  scream  that  it 
sent  the  horse  off  at  a  furious  rate. 

And  Solomon  John  got  quite  excited  himself,  and 
he  did  not  stop  till  he  had  thrown  away  all  his 
apples,  and  had  reached  the  corner  of  the  cider- 
mill. 

"  Very  well,"  said  lic,^"  if  the  horse  is  so  lazy,  he 
won't  mind  my  stopping  to  pick  up  the  apples  on  the 
way  home.  And  I  am  not  sure  but  I  shall  prefer 
walking  a  little  to  riding  the  beast." 


SOLOMON  JOHN  GOES  FOR  APPLES  AND  CIDER.       27 

The  man  came  out  to  meet  him  from  the  cider- 
mill,  and  reached  him  the  jug.  He  was  just  going  to 
take  it,  when  he  turned  his  horse's  head  round,  and, 
delighted  at  the  idea  of  going  home,  the  horse  set  off 
at  a  full  run,  without  waiting  for  the  jug.  Solomon 
John  clung  to  the  reins,  and  his  knees  held  fast  to 
the  horse.  He  called  out  "  Whoa !  whoa ! "  but  the 
horse  would  not  stop. 

He  went  galloping  on  past  the  boy,  who  stopped, 
and  flung  an  apple  at  him ;  past  the  turkeys,  that 
came  and  gobbled  at  him ;  by  the  cow,  that  turned 
and  ran  back  in  a  race  with  them  until  her  breath 
gave  out ;  by  the  ducks,  that  came  and  quacked  at 
him ;  by  an  old  donke}r,  that  bra}'ed  over  the  wall  at 
him  ;  by  some  hens,  that  ran  into  the  road  under  the 
horse's  feet,  and  clucked  at  him ;  by  a  great  rooster, 
that  stood  up  on  a  fence,  and  crowed  at  him ;  by 
Farmer  Jones,  who  looked  out  to  see  what  had  be 
come  of  him ;  down  the  village  street,  and  he  never 
stopped  till  he  had  reached  the  door  of  the  house. 

Out  came  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin,  Agamemnon, 
Elizabeth  Eliza,  and  the  little  boys. 

Solomon  John  got  off  his  horse  all  out  of  breath. 

"  Where  is  the  jug  of  cider?  "  asked  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin. 

"  It  is  at  the  cider-mill,"  said  Solomon  John. 

' '  At  the  mill !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Peterkin. 


28  THE   PETERKUN   PAPERS. 

"  Yes,"  said  Solomon  John ;  "  the  little  boys  had 
better  walk  out  for  it ;  they  will  quite  enjoy  it ;  and 
they  had  better  take  a  basket ;  for  on  the  way  they 
will  find  plenty  of  apples,  scattered  all  along  either 
side  of  the  lane,  and  hens,  and  ducks,  and  turkeys, 
and  a  donkey." 

The  little  boys  looked  at  each  other,  and  went ; 
but  they  stopped  first,  and  put  on  their  india-rubber 
boots. 


THE   PETERKINS   TRY  TO   BECOME   WISE.  29 


THE  PETERKINS  TRY  TO  BECOME  WISE. 


THEY  were  sitting  round  the  breakfast-table,  and 
wondering  what  they  should  do  because  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia  had  gone  away.  "  If,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin,  "we  could  o.Jybe  more  wise  as  a  fam 
ily!"  How  could  they  manage  it?  Agamemnon 
had  been  to  college,  and  the  children  all  went  to 
school ;  but  still  as  a  family  they  were  not  wise. 
"It  comes  from  books,"  said  one  of  the  family. 
"People  who  have  a  great  many  books  are  very 
wise."  Then  they  counted  up  that  there  were  very 
few  books  in  the  house,  —  a  few  school-books  and 
Mrs.  Peterkin's  cook-book  were  all. 

"That's  the  thing!"  said  Agamemnon.  "We 
want  a  library ! " 

"  "We  want  a  library ! "  said  Solomon  John.  And 
all  of  them  exclaimed,  "  We  want  a  library ! " 

"  Let  us  think  how  we  shall  get  one,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin.  ' '  I  have  observed  that  other  people 
think  a  great  deal  of  thinking." 

So  they  all  sat  and  thought  a  great  while. 


30  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

Then  said  Agamemnon,  "I  will  make  a  library. 
There  are  some  boards  in  the  wood-shed,  and  I  have 
a  hammer  and  some  nails,  and  perhaps  we  can  bor 
row  some  hinges,  and  there  we  have  our  librar}* !  " 

They  were  all  very  much  pleased  at  the  idea. 

"That's  the  book-case  part,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza ;  "  but  where  are  the  books?  " 

So  they  sat  and  thought  a  little  while,  when  Solo 
mon  John  exclaimed,  ' '  I  will  make  a  book ! " 

They  all  looked  at  him  in  wonder. 

"Yes,"  said  Solomon  John,  "books  will  make 
us  wise,  but  first  I  must  make  a  book." 

So  they  went  into  the  parlor,  and  sat  down  to 
make  a  book.  But  there  was  no  ink.  What  should 
he  do  for  ink?  Elizabeth  Eliza  said  she  had  heard 
that  nutgalls  and  vinegar  made  very  good  ink.  So 
they  decided  to  make  some.  The  little  boys  said 
they  could  find  some  nutgalls  up  in  the  woods.  So 
they  all  agreed  to  set  out  and  pick  some.  Mrs. 
Peterkin  put  on  her  cape-bonnet,  and  the  little  boys 
got  into  their  india-rubber  boots,  and  off  they  went. 

The  nutgalls  were  hard  to  find.  There  was  al 
most  everything  else  in  the  woods,  —  chestnuts,  and 
walnuts,  and  small  hazel-nuts,  and  a  great  many 
squirrels  ;  and  they  had  to  walk  a  great  way  before 
they  found  any  nutgalls.  At  last  they  came  home 
with  a  large  basket  and  two  nutgalls  in  it.  Then 


THE   PETERKINS   TRY  TO   BECOME   WISE.  31 

came  the  question  of  the  vinegar.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
had  used  her  very  last  on  some  beets  they  had  the 
day  before.  "  Suppose  we  go  and  ask  the  minister's 
wife,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza.  So  they  all  went  to  the 
minister's  .wife.  She  said  if  they  wanted  some  good 
vinegar  they  had  better  set  a  barrel  of  cider  down 
in  the  cellar,  and  in  a  jrear  or  two  it  would  make 
very  nice  vinegar.  But  they  said  they  wanted  it 
that  very  afternoon.  When  the  minister's  wife  heard 
this,  she  said  she  should  be  very  glad  to  let  them 
have  some  vinegar,  and  gave  them  a  cupful  to  carry 
home. 

So  they  stirred  in  the  nutgalls,  and  by  the  tune 
evening  came  they  had  very  good  ink. 

Then  Solomon  John  wanted  a  pen.  Agamemnon 
had  a  steel  one,  but  Solomon  John  said,  "Poets 
always  used  quills."  Elizabeth  Eliza  suggested  that 
they  should  go  out  to  the  poultry-yard  and  get  a 
quill.  But  it  was  already  dark.  They  had,  how 
ever,  two  lanterns,  and  the  little  boys  borrowed  the 
neighbors'.  They  set  out  in  procession  for  the 
poultry-yard.  "When  they  got  there,  the  fowls  were 
all  at  roost,  so  they  could  look  at  them  quietly. 
But  there  were  no  geese !  There  were  Shanghais 
.  and  Cochin  Chinas,  and  Guinea  hens,  and  Barbary 
hens,  and  speckled  hens,  and  Poland  roosters,  and 
bantams,  and  ducks,  and  turkeys,  but  not  one 


32  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

goose!  "  No  geese  but  ourselves,"  said  Mrs.  Pet- 
erkin,  wittily,  as  they  returned  to  the  house.  The 
sight  of  this  procession  roused  up  the  village.  "A 
torchlight  procession ! "  cried  all  the  boys  of  the 
town  ;  and  they  gathered  round  the  house,  shouting 
for  the  flag ;  and  Mr.  Peterkin  had  to  invite  them 
in,  and  give  them  cider  and  gingerbread,  before  he 
could  explain  to  them  that  it  was  only  his  family 
visiting  his  hens. 

After  the  crowd  had  dispersed,  Solomon  John  sat 
down  to  think  of  his  writing  again.  Agamemnon 
agreed  to  go  over  to  the  bookstore  to  get  a  quill. 
They  all  went  over  with  him.  The  bookseller  was 
just  shutting  up  his  shop.  However,  he  agreed  to 
go  in  and  get  a  quill,  which  he  did,  and  they  hurried 
home. 

So  Solomon  John  sat  down  again,  but  there  was 
no  paper.  And  now  the  bookstore  was  shut  up. 
Mr.  Peterkin  suggested  that  the  mail  was  about  in, 
and  perhaps  he  should  have  a  letter,  and  then  they 
could  use  the  envelope  to  write  upon.  So  they  all 
went  to  the  post-office,  and  the  little  bo}'s  had  their 
india-rubber  boots  on,  and  they  all  shouted  when 
the}*  found  Mr.  Peterkin  had  a  letter.  The  post 
master  inquired  what  they  were  shouting  about;, 
and  when  they  told  him,  he  said  he  would  give 


THE    PETERKINS  TRY  TO   BECOME   WISE.  33 

Solomon  John  a  whole  sheet  of  paper  for  his  book. 
And  they  all  went  back  rejoicing. 

So  Solomon  John  sat  down,  and  the  family  all  sat 
round  the  table  looking  at  him.  He  had  his  pen, 
his  ink,  and  his  paper.  He  dipped  his  pen  into  the 
ink  and  held  it  over  the  paper,  and  thought  a 
minute,  and  then  said,  "But  I  haven't  got  anything 
to  say!" 


34  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 


THE  FETERKINS  AT  THE  MENAGERIE. 


IT  was  a  sad  blow  to  the  Peterkin  family  when 
they  found  Solomon  John  had  nothing  to  say  in  the 
book  which  he  tried  once  to  write. 

"I  think  it  must  happen  often,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza;  "  for  everybody  docs  not  write  a  book,  and 
this  must  be  the  reason." 

"  It  is  singular,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin.  "  To  be  wise 
enough  to  write  a  book,  one  must  read  books  ;  and 
3'et  how  can  we  read  them  until  somebody  is  wise 
enough  to  write  them?" 

But  nobody  answered  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"We  ought  to  see  more  things,"  said  Solomon 
John. 

"  We  ought  to  go  to  the  menagerie,"  said  the 
little  boys. 

"Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "we  might  learn 
something  at  the  menagerie." 

"  There  is  a  giraffe  at  the  menagerie,"  said  the 
little  boys. 

"  Well,  my  sons,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  leaving  the 


THE   PETERKINS   AT  THE   MENAGERIE.  35 

breakfast-table,  "let  every  one  learn  something 
about  the  giraffe  this  morning,  and  we  -will  go  and 
see  lain  in  the  afternoon !  " 

So  the  family  all  separated,  and  spent  their  morn 
ing  trying  to  learn  about  the  giraffe. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  sat  and  thought.  Agamemnon 
borrowed  a  book.  And  the  rest  went  out  and  asked 
questions. 

In  the  afternoon,  all  the  family  came  together  in 
the  entry,  ready  to  go  to  the  menagerie,  —  the  little 
boys  in  their  india-rubber  boots. 

"The  giraffe,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "is  the  same 
as  the  camelopard.  Can  any  one  tell  me  more  about 
him?" 

' '  The  camel  is  sometimes  called  the  ship  of  the 
desert,"  said  one  of  the  little  boys. 

"But  this  is  the  camelopard,"  interrupted  Solo 
mon  John ;  "  it  is  quite  a  different  thing." 

"  Let  Agamemnon  speak  first,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 
kin ;  "he  was  a  week  in  college,  and  ought  to 
know." 

' '  The  fore  legs  of  the  camelopard,"  began  Aga 
memnon,  "  are  much  longer  than  the  hinder,  which 
are  very  short." 

' '  It  must  look  like  a  rabbit,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"  Yes,  mamma,"  they  all  said. 

"But,  then,"  said  Solomon  John,  "I  think  the 


36  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

/ore  legs  of  the  rabbit  are  short,  and  the  hinder  ones 
long." 

' '  We  can  easily  see,"  said  Mr.  Peterkiifl)  ' '  we 
can  go  and  look  at  our  own  rabbits." 

"Yes,"  cried  the  little  boys,  "let  us  all  go  and 
see  our  rabbits." 

So  the}'  went  to  the  rabbit-hutch,  at  the  very  end 
of  the  garden,  —  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin,  Agamem 
non  and  Elizabeth  Eliza,  Solomon  John  and  the 
little  boys  in  their  india-rubber  boots. 

"  You  are  right,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "  their  hind 
legs  are  long.  How  very  singular  an  animal  must 
look  made  the  other  way !  " 

On  the  way  back  through  the  garden,  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  asked  some  more  about  the  camelopard,  or 
giraffe. 

"The  French  call  it  the  giraffe,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza. 

"  Let  us  call  it  the  giraffe,  then,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  ;  "  then  we  shall  learn  a  little  French ;  and,  to 
be  wise,  it  is  best  to  learn  all  we  can." 

"  It  feeds  on  the  leaves  of  trees,''  said  Solomon 
John.  "  It  is  tall  enough  to  crop  them." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  stopped,  and  exclaimed,  "An  ani 
mal  like  a  rabbit  turned  the  other  way,  tall  enough 
to  feed  on  the  leaves  of  trees !  Solomon  John,  3-011 
must  be  mistaken  !  " 


THE   PETERKINS   AT  THE   MENAGERIE.  37 

' '  The  trees  in  that  country,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
"  are  not  so  high,  perhaps." 

"  Do  let  us  go  and  see,"  cried  the  little  boys, 
impatiently. 

"Well,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "perhaps  we  had 
better  not  wait  any  longer." 

They  all  went  out  into  the  street,  and  walked  along 
in  a  row,  —  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin,  Agamemnon  and 
Elizabeth  Eliza,  Solomon  John  and  the  little  boys. 

It  might  have  made  people  stare,  but  all  the  other 
families  in  the  village  were  on  their  way  to  the 
menagerie,  which  was  open  for  the  first  time  that 
afternoon. 

The  little  boys  would  have  liked  to  stop  outside  to 
see  the  picture  of  the  Two-Headed  Woman,  but  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Peterkin  hurried  them  in. 

There  was  a  great  crowd  inside  the  tent,  and 
Elizabeth  ElLza  thought  she  heard  some  bears  roar. 
The  little  boys  stopped  the  first  thing  to  look  at  the 
monkeys. 

"Papa,"  they  asked,  "do  not  monkeys  usually 
have  grinding  organs  ?  " 

"  I  have  seen  them  with  grinding  organs  in  the 
streets,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "but  I  should  not 
expect  it  in  a  menagerie." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  passed  on  to  the  ostrich. 

"  Is  this  the  geeraffe?  "  she  asked  of  the  keeper. 


38  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

The  family  hurried  her  on.  "  That  is  the  ostrich  ; 
don't  3-011  see  it  is  a  bird  ?  "  said  Agamemnon. 

"  Let  us  stop  and  look  at  it,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"  It  does  look  like  a  camel,  ma'am,"  said  the 
keeper,  "  and,  like  the  camel,  it  inhabits  the  desert. 
It  will  eat  leather,  grass,  hair,  iron,  stones,  or  any 
thing  that  is  given,  and  its  large  eggs  weigh  over 
fifteen  pounds." 

"  Dear  me,  how  useful !  "  said  Mrs.  Peterkin  ;  "  I 
think  we  might  keep  one  to  eat  up  the  broken 
crockery,  and  one. egg  would  last  for  a  week  ;  and 
what  a  treasure  to  have  at  Thanksgiving !  " 

But  there  were  so  many  things  to  look  at,  the 
Peterkins  had  very  little  chance  to  talk  or  to  ask 
questions. 

There  was  a  polar  bear,  walking  up  and  down  his 
cage,  as  if  he  were  looking  for  the  North  Pole. 

Then  there  were  some  porcupines  with  orange- 
colored  teeth,  and  some  owls  whose  eyes  were  very 
large  and  round. 

"I  should  like  an  owl,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin  to  his 
wife  ;  "  they  look  very  wise." 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "  their  wisdom  must 
come  from  looking  at  things,  their  eyes  are  so  very 
large." 

So  she  opened  her  ej-es  wide,  and  went  and  looked 
at  a  jaguar. 


THE   PETERKINS   AT  THE   MENAGERIE.  39 

They  soon  came  to  the  giraffe.  "  It  is  a  tall  ani 
mal,"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Peterkin ;  "do  they  have 
many  of  them  in  the  country  this  comes  from  ?  "  she 
asked  of  the  keeper. 

' '  Half  of  him  is  a  '  ship  of  the  desert,' "  cried  one 
of  the  little  boys,  "the  other  half  is  a  leopard." 

But  no  one  paid  any  attention  to  what  he  said. 

"It  must  be  hard  to  ride  him,"  said  Solomon 
John,  "  there  is  such  a  slope  from  his  head  to  his 
tail." 

"  He  is  quite  different  from  a  rabbit,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin;  "there  is  such  a  difference  in  the  length 
of  the  legs,  and  this  animal  is  very  much  taller  than 
a  rabbit." 

One  of  the  little  boys  thought  he  should  like  to 
have  a  giraffe  by  a  cherry-tree,  then  he  could  coast 
down  his  back  when  he  wanted  to  come  down  the 
tree. 

The  Peterkins  staj-ed  at  the  menagerie  till  it  was 
quite  dark,  wandering  round,  and  asking  questions, 
and  wondering  at  the  strange  animals  they  saw. 

At  last,  when  they  were  outside  the  tent  again, 
they  counted  up  the  children,  and  found  the  little 
bo3's  were  missing. 

"They  must  have  stayed  in  with  the  monkeys," 
said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

They  all  turned  back  to  look  for  them ;  but  the 


40  THE   PETERKTN   PAPERS. 

doorkeeper  would  not  let  them  go  in  without  paying 
again. 

To  this  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  objected,  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin  begged  and  entreated  the  doorkeeper  to  let 
her  in ;  how  hard-hearted  he  was  ! 

"  Suppose  his  little  boys  should  be  left  as  food  for 
lions,"  she  cried.  "  Had  not  he  any  feelings?" 

The  doorkeeper  was  so  moved,  that  at  last  he  let 
in  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
while  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John  waited  out 
side. 

But  in  vain  they  looked  round ;  no  little  boys 
were  found.  Mrs.  Peterkin  stopped  a  long  time  in 
front  of  the  tiger's  cage;  the  tiger  looked  quite 
wicked  enough  to  have  eaten  the  little  boys,  but  the 
keeper  explained  to  her  that  the}"  could  not  have  got 
in  between  the  wires,  even  if  they  had  tried. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  looked  closely  among  the  mon 
keys,  but  could  not  find  the  little  boys ;  she  could 
have  told  them  by  their  india-rubber  boots. 

A  number  of  stray  little  boys  were  brought  to 
Mrs.  Peterkin,  but  they  were  not  the  right  ones. 

The  crowd  was  growing  less,-  so  it  could  be  easily 
seen  the  little  boys  were  not  there,  and  they  went 
sadly  out. 

Solomon  John  then  suggested  that  perhaps  they 
had  gone  in  to  see  the  Two-Headed  Woman  ;  so  his 


THE   PETEKKINS   AT  THE   MENAGERIE.  41 

father  gave  him  a  ticket  to  go  in  and  see.  He  saw 
the  Two-Headed  "Woman,  but  no  little  boys. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  filled  with  the  blackest  fears, 
and  wanted  to  sit  down  and  cry  ;  but  the  postmaster 
and  his  daughter  came  along,  and  the  daughter 
advised  Mrs.  Peterkin  to  go  home ;  she  thought 
they  might  find  them  there,  and  she  agreed  to  go 
home  with  her  and  Elizabeth  Eliza.  Meanwhile  the 
postmaster  and  Mr.  Peterkin  were  to  walk  round  the 
enclosure  in  one  direction,  and  Agamemnon  and 
Solomon  John  in  another  direction,  and  two  police 
men  were  to  pass  through  the  middle. 

This  was  done,  and  all  the  parties  met  in  a 
place  behind  the  tent  of  the  Two-Headed  Woman. 
And  just  there,  sitting  on  a  log,  were  the  little  boys, 
each  eating  AN  APPLE  TAKT  ! 


4:2  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 


MRS.  PETERKIN  WISHES  TO  GO  TO  DRIVE. 


ONE  morning  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  feeling  very 
tired,  as  she  bad  been  having  a  great  many  things 
to  think  of,  and  she  said  to  Mr.  Peterkin,  "I 
believe  I  shall  take  a  ride  this  morning ! " 

And  the  little  boys  cried  out,  "Oh,  may  we  go 
too?" 

Mrs.  Peterkin  said  that  Elizabeth  Eliza  and  the 
little  boys  might  go. 

So  Mr.  Petcrkiu  had  the  horse  put  into  the  carry 
all,  and  he  and  Agamemnon  went  off  to  their  busi 
ness,  and  Solomon  John  to  school ;  and  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  began  to  get  ready  for  her  ride. 

She  had  some  currants  she  wanted  to  carry  to  old 
Mrs.  Twomly,  and  some  gooseberries  for  somebody 
else,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  wanted  to  pick  some 
flowers  to  take  to  the  minister's  wife,  so  it  took 
them  a  long  time  to  prepare. 

The  little  bo}'s  went  out  to  pick  the  currants  and 
the  gooseberries,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  went  out  for 
her  flowers,  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  put  on  her  cape- 


MRS.    PETERKIN   WISHES   TO    GO   TO   DRIVE.         43 

bonnet,  and  in  time  they  were  all  ready.  The  little 
boys  were  in  their  india-rubber  boots,  and  they  got 
into  the  carriage. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  was  to  drive ;  so  she  sat  on  the 
front  seat,  and  took  up  the  reins,  and  the  horse 
started  off  merrily,  and  then  suddenly  stopped,  and 
would  not  go  any  farther. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  shook  the  reins,  and  pulled  them, 
and  then  she  clucked  to  the  horse  ;  and  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  clucked;  and  the  little  boys  whistled  and 
shouted ;  but  still  the  horse  would  not  go. 

"We  shall  have  to  whip  him,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza. 

Now  Mrs..  Peterkin  never  liked  to  use  the  whip ; 
but,  as  the  horse  would  not  go,  she  said  she  would 
get  out  and  turn  her  head  the  other  way,  while 
Elizabeth  Eliza  whipped  the  horse,  and  when  he 
began  to  go  she  would  hurry  and  get  in. 

So  they  tried  this,  but  the  horse  would  not  stir. 

"Perhaps  we  have  too  heavy  a  load,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin,  as  she  got  in. 

So  they  took  out  the  currants  and  the  goose 
berries  and  the  flowers,  but  still  the  horse  would  not 
go. 

One  of  the  neighbors,  from  the  opposite  house, 
looking  out  just  then,  called  out  to  them  to  try  the 
whip.  There  was  a  high  wind,  and  they  could  not 
hear  exactly  what  she  said. 


44  THE   PETERKIX    PAPERS. 

"  I  have  tried  the  whip,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  She  sa}-s  '  whips,'  such  as  you  eat,"  said  one  of 
the  little  bo}'s. 

"We  might  make  those,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin, 
thoughtfully. 

"We  have  got  plenty  of  cream,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza. 

"Yes,  let  us  have  some  whips,"  cried  the  little 
boys,  getting  out. 

And  the  opposite  neighbor  cried  out  something 
about  whips  ;  and  the  wind  was  very  high. 

So  they  went  into  the  kitchen,  and  whipped  up 
the  cream,  and  made  some  very  delicious  whips ; 
and  the  little  boys  tasted  all  round,  -aud  they  all 
thought  the}r  were  very  nice. 

They  carried  some  out  to  the  horse,  who  swal 
lowed  it  down  very  quickbj. 

"  That  is  just  what  he  wanted,"  said  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  ;  "  now  he  will  certainly  go  !  " 

So  they  all  got  into  the  carriage  again,  and  put  in 
the  currants  and  the  gooseberries  and  the  flowers ; 
and  Elizabeth  Eliza  shook  the  reins,  and  they  all 
clucked  ;  but  still  the  horse  would  not  go  ! 

"We  must  either  give  up  our  ride,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin,  mournfull}',  "or  else  send  over  to  the 
lady  from  Philadelphia,  and  see  what  she  will  sa}'." 

The  little  boys  jumped  out   as   quickly   as    they 


MRS.    PETERKE*   WISHES   TO   GO   TO   DRIVE.          45 

could;  they  were  eager  to  go  and  ask  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia.  Elizabeth  Eliza  went  with  them, 
while  her  mother  took  the  reins. 

They  found  that  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  was 
very  ill  that  da}*,  and  was  in  her  bed.  But  when 
she  was  told  what  the  trouble  was,  she  very  kindly 
said  the}*  might  draw  up  the  curtain  from  the  win 
dow  at  the  foot  of  the  bed,  and  open  the  blinds, 
and  she  would  see.  Then  she  asked  for  her  opera- 
glass,  and  looked  through  it,  across  the  way,  up  the 
street,  to  Mrs.  Peterkin's  door. 

After  she  had  looked  through  the  glass,  she  laid  it 
down,  leaned  her  head  back  against  the  pillow,  for 
she  was  very  tired,  and  then  said,  "  Why  don't  you 
unchain  the  horse  from  the  horse-post  ?  " 

Elizabeth  Eliza  and  the  little  boys  looked  at  one 
another,  and  then  hurried  back  to  the  house  and 
told  their  mother.  The  horse  was  untied,  and  they 
all  went  to  ride. 


46  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 


THE  PETERKINS  AT  HOME. 


AT   DINNER. 

ANOTHER  little  incident  occurred  in  the  Peterkin 
family.  This  was  at  dinner-time. 

They  sat  down  to  a  dish  of  boiled  ham.  Now  it 
was  a  peculiarity  of  the  children  of  the  family,  that 
half  of  them  liked  fat,  and  half  liked  'lean.  Mr. 
Peterkin  sat  down  to  cut  the  ham.  But  the  ham 
turned  out  to  be  a  very  remarkable  one.  The  fat 
and  the  lean  came  in  separate  slices, —  first  one  of 
lean,  than  one  of  fat,  then  two  slices  of  lean,  and 
so  on.  Mr.  Peterkin  began  as  usual  by  helping  the 
children  first,  according  to  their  age.  Now  Aga 
memnon,  who  liked  lean,  got  a  fat  slice  ;  and  Eliza 
beth  Eliza,  who  preferred  fat,  had  a  lean  slice. 
Solomon  John,  who  could  eat  nothing  but  leau,  was 
helped  to  fat,  and  so  on.  Nobody  had  what  he 
could  eat. 

It  was  a  rule  of  the  Peterkin  family,  that  no  one 
should  eat  any  of  the  vegetables  without  some  of 


THE   PETERKINS   AT   HOME.  47 

the  meat ;  so  now,  although  the  children  saw  upon 
their  plates  apple-sauce  and  squash  and  tomato  and 
sweet  potato  and  sour  potato,  not  one  of  them  could 
eat  a  mouthful,  because  not  one  was  satisfied  with 
the  meat.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin,  however,  liked 
both  fat  and  lean,  and  were  making  a  very  good 
meal,  when  they  looked  up  and  saw  the  children  all 
sitting  eating  nothing,  and  looking  dissatisfied  into 
their  plates. 

"What  is  the  matter  now?"  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

But  the  children  were  taught  not  to  speak  at  table. 
Agamemnon,  however,  made  a  sign  of  disgust  at  his 
fat,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  at  her  lean,  and  so  on,  and 
they  presently  discovered  what'  was  the  difficulty. 

"What  shall  be  done  now?"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

They  all  sat  and  thought  for  a  little  while. 

At  last  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  rather  uncertainly, 
"  Suppose  we  ask  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  what 
is  best  to  be  done." 

But  Mr.  Peterkin  said  he  didn't  like  to  go  to  her 
for  everything ;  let  the  children  try  and  eat  their 
dinner  as  it  was. 

And  they  all  tried,  but  they  couldn't.  "Very 
well,  then,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "let  them  go  and 
ask  the  lady  from  Philadelphia." 

"All  of  us?"  cried  one  of  the  little  boys,  in  the 
excitement  of  the  moment. 


48  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

"Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "only  put  on  your 
india-rubber  boots."  And  they  hurried  out  of  the 
house. 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  was  just  going  in  to 
her  dinner ;  but  she  kindly  stopped  in  the  entry  to 
hear  what  the  trouble  was.  Agamemnon  and  Eliza 
beth  Eliza  told  her  all  the  difficult}',  and  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia  said,  "But  why  don't  you  give 
the  slices  of  fat  to  those  who  like  the  fat,  and  the 
slices  of  lean  to  those  who  like  the  lean  ?  " 

They  looked  at  one  another.  Agamemnon  looked 
at  Elizabeth  Eliza,  and  Solomon  John  looked  at  the 
little  boys.  "Why  didn't  we  think  of  that?"  said 
they,  and  ran  home  to  tell  their  mother. 


WHY   THE   PETEREJNS   HAD   A   LATE   DINNER.        49 


WHY  THE  PETERKINS  HAD  A  LATE 
DINNER. 


THE  trouble  was  in  the  dumb-waiter.  All  had 
seated  themselves  at  the  dinner-table,  and  Amanda 
had  gone  to  take  out  the  dinner  she  had  sent  up 
from  the  kitchen  on  the  dumb-waiter.  But  some 
thing  was  the  matter ;  she  could  not  pull  it  up. 
There  was  the  dinner,  but  she  could  not  reach  it. 
All  the  family,  in  turn,  went  and  tried ;  all  pulled 
together,  in  vain ;  the  dinner  could  not  be  stirred. 

"  No  dinner !  "  exclaimed  Agamemnon. 

"I  am  quite  hungry,"  said  Solomon  John. 

At  last  Mr.  Peterkin  said,  "  I  am  not  proud.  I 
am  willing  to  dine  in  the  kitchen." 

This  room  was  below  the  dining-room.  All  con 
sented  to  this.  Each  one  went  down,  taking  a 
napkin. 

The  cook  laid  the  kitchen  table,  put  on  it  her  best 
table-cloth,  and  the  family  sat  down.  Amanda  went 
to  the  dumb-waiter  for  the  dinner,  but  she  could  not 
move  it  down. 


50  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

The  family  were  all  in  dismay.  There  was  the 
dinner,  half-way  between  the  kitchen  and  dining- 
room,  and  there  were  they  all  hungry  to  eat  it ! 

"What  is  there  for  dinner?"  asked  Mr.  Peter- 
kin. 

"  Eoast  turkey,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

Mr.  Peterkin  lifted  his  eyes  to  the  ceiling. 

"Squash,  tomato,  potato,  and  sweet  potato,'' 
Mrs.  Peterkin  continued. 

"  Sweet  potato ! "  exclaimed  both  the  little  boys. 

"  I  am  very  glad  now  that  I  did  not  have  cran 
berry,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  anxious  to  find  a  bright 
point. 

"  Let  us  sit  down  and  think  about  it,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin. 

"  I  have  an  idea,"  said  Agamemnon,  after  awhile. 

"  Let  us  hear  it,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin.  "  Let  each 
one  speak  his  mind." 

"The  turkey,"  said  Agamemnon,  "must  be  just 
above  the  kitchen  door.  If  I  had  a  ladder  and  an 
axe,  I  could  cut  away  the  plastering  and  reach 
it." 

"  That  is  a  great  idea,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"If  you  think  you  could  do  it,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 
kin. 

""Would  it  not  be  better  to  have  a  carpenter?" 
asked  Elizabeth  Eliza. 


WHY   THE   PETERKINS   HAD   A   LATE    DINNER.       51 

"A  carpenter  might  have  a  ladder  and  an  axe, 
and  I  think  we  have  neither,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

' '  A  carpenter !  A  carpenter ! "  exclaimed  the 
rest. 

It  was  decided  that  Mr.  Peterkin,  Solomon  John, 
and  the  little  boys  should  go  in  search  of  a  carpen 
ter. 

Agamemnon  proposed  that,  meanwhile,  he  should 
go  and  borrow  a  book  ;  for  he  had  another  idea. 

"This  affair  of  the  turkey,"  he  said,  "reminds 
me  of  those  buried  cities  that  have  been  dug  out, — 
Herculaneum,  for  instance." 

"Oh,  yes,"  interrupted  Elizabeth  Eliza,  "and 
Pompeii." 

"  Yes,"  said  Agamemnon,  "they  found  there  pots 
and  kettles.  Now,  I  should  like  to  know  how  thej* 
did  it ;  and  I  mean  to  borrow  a  book  and  read.  I 
think  it  was  done  with  a  pick-axe." 

So  the  party  set  out.  But  when  Mr.  Peterkin 
reached  the  carpenter's  shop,  there  was  no  carpen 
ter  to  be  found  there. 

"He  must  be  at  his  house,  eating  his  dinner," 
suggested  Solomon  John. 

"Happy  man,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Peterkin,  "  he  has 
a  dinner  to  eat !  " 

They  went  to  the  carpenter's  house,  but  found  he 
had  gone  out  of  town  for  a  day's  job.  But  his  wife 


f>2  TUE   TETERKIN   PATERS. 

told  them  that  he  always  came  back  at  night  to  ring 
the  nine  o'clock  bell. 

"  We  must  wait  till  then,"  said  Mr.  Pcterkin,  with 
an  effort  at  cheerfulness. 

At  home  he  found  Agamemnon  reading  his  book, 
and  all  sat  down  to  hear  of  Ilerculaueuni  and  Pom 
peii. 

Time  passed  on,  and  the  question  arose  about  tea. 
Would  it  do  to  have  tea  when  they  had  had  no  din 
ner?  A  part  of  the  family  thought  it  would  not  do ; 
the  rest  wanted  tea. 

"  I  suppose  you  remember  the  wise  lady  of  Phila 
delphia,  who  was  here  not  long  ago,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin. 

"Oh,  yes,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"  Let  us  try  to  think  what  she  would  advise  us," 
said  Mr.  Peterkiii. 

"  I  wish  she  were  here,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"I  think,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "she  would  say, 
let  them  that  want  tea  have  it ;  the  rest  can  go 
without." 

So  they  had  tea,  and,  as  it  proved,  all  sat  down 
to  it.  But  not  much  was  eaten,  as  there  had  been 
no  dinner. 

When  the  nine  o'clock  bell  was  heard,  Agamem 
non,  Solomon  John,  and  the  little  boys  rushed  to 
the  church,  and  found  the  carpenter. 


WHY   THE   PETERKINS   HAD    A   LATE   DINNER.       53 

They  asked  Mm  to  bring  a  ladder,  axe  and  pick 
axe.  As  he  felt  it  might  be  a  case  of  fire,  he 
brought  also  his  fire-buckets. 

When  the  matter  was  explained  to  him,  he  went 
into  the  dining-room,  looked  into  the  dumb-waiter, 
untwisted  a  cord,  and  arranged  the  weight,  and 
pulled  up  the  dinner. 

There  was  a  family  shout. 

"The  trouble  was  in  the  weight,"  said  the  car 
penter. 

"That  is  why  it  is  called  a  dumb-waiter,"  Solo 
mon  John  explained  to  the  little  boys. 

The  dinner  was  put  upon  the  table. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  frugally  suggested  that  they  might 
now  keep  it  for  next  day,  as  to-day  was  almost 
gone,  and  they  had  had  tea. 

But  nobody  listened.  Alt  sat  down  to  the  roast 
turkey  ;  and  Amanda  warmed  over  the  vegetables. 

"Patient  waiters  are  no  losers,"  said  Agamem 
non. 


54  THE   PETERKTN   PAPERS. 


THE  PETERKINS'  SUMMER  JOURNEY. 


IN  fact,  it  was  their  last  summer's  journey  —  for 
it  had  been  planned  then ;  but  there  had  been  so 
many  difficulties,  it  had  been  delayed. 

The  first  trouble  had  been  about  trunks.  The 
family  did  not  own  a  trunk  suitable  for  travelling. 

Agamemnon  had  his  valise,  that  he  had  used  when 
he  stayed  a  week  at  a  time  at  the  academy ;  and  a 
trunk  had  been  bought  for  Elizabeth  Eliza  when  she 
went  to  the  seminaiy .  Solomon  John  and  Mr.  Peter- 
kin,  each  had  his  patent-leather  hand-bag.  But  all 
these  were  too  small  for  the  family.  And  the  little 
boj's  wanted  to  carry  their  kite. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  suggested  her  grandmother's  trunk. 
This  was  a  hair-trunk,  very  large  and  capacious.  It 
would  hold  everything  they  would  want  to  carry, 
except  what  would  go  in  Elizabeth  Eliza's  trunk,  or 
the  valise  and  bags. 

Everybody  was  delighted  at  this  idea.  It  was 
agreed  that  the  next  day  the  things  should  be  brought 


THE   PETERKINS'  SUMMER  JOURNEY.  55 

into  Mrs.  Peterkin's  room,  for  her  to  see  if  they 
could  all  be  packed. 

"  If  we  can  get  along,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
"  without  having  to  ask  advice,  I  shall  be  glad !  " 

"Yes,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "it  is  time  now  for 
people  to  be  coming  to  ask  advice  of  us." 

The  next  morning  Mrs.  Peterkin  began  by  taking 
out  the  things  that  were  already  in  the  trunk.  Here 
were  last  year's  winter  things,  and  not  only  these, 
but  old  clothes  that  had  been  put  away, — Mrs. 
Peterkin's  wedding-dress  ;  the  skirts  the  little  boys 
used  to  wear  before  they  put  on  jackets  and  trousers. 

All  day  Mrs.  Peterkin  worked  over  the  trunk, 
putting  away  the  old  things,  putting  in  the  new. 
She  packed  up  all  the  clothes  she  could  think  of, 
both  summer  and  winter  ones,  because  you  never 
can  tell  what  sort  of  weather  you  will  have. 

Agamemnon  fetched  his  books,  and  Solomon  John 
his  spy-glass.  There  were  her  own  and  Elizabeth 
Eliza's  best  bonnets  in  a  bandbox ;  also  Solomon 
John's  hats,  for  he  had  an  old  one  and  a  new  one. 
He  bought  a  new  hat  for  fishing,  with  a  very  wide 
brim  and  deep  crown,  all  of  heavy  straw. 

Agamemnon  brought  down  a  large,  heavy  diction 
ary,  and  an  atlas  still  larger.  This  contained  maps 
of  all  the  countries  in  the  world. 

"  I  have  never  had  a  chance  to  look  at  them,"  he 


56  THE    PETERKrS    PAPERS. 

said;  "but  when  one  travels,  then  is  the  time  to 
study  geography." 

Mr.  Fctcrkiu  wanted  to  take  his  turning-lathe. 
So  Mrs.-  Peterkin  packed  his  tool-chest.  It  gave  her 
.  some  trouble,  for  it  came  to  her  just  as  she  had  packed 
her  summer  dresses.  At  first  she  thought  it  wouJd 
help  to  smooth  the  dresses,  and  placed  it  on  top ; 
but  she  was  forced  to  take  all  out,  and  set  it  at  the 
bottom.  This  was  not  so  much  matter,  as  she  had 
not  yet  the  right  dresses  to  put  in.  Both  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  would  need  new  dresses  for 
this  occasion.  The  little  boys'  hoops  went  in ;  so 
did  their  india-rubber  boots,  in  case  it  should  not 
rain  when  they  started.  They  each  had  a  hoe  and 
shovel,  and  some  baskets  that  were  packed. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  called  in  all  the  family  on  the  even 
ing  of  the  second  day,  to  see  how  she  had  succeeded. 
Everything  was  packed,  even  the  little  boys'  kite  la}' 
smoothly  on  the  top. 

"I  like  to  see  a  thing  so  nicely  done,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin. 

The  next  thing  was  to  cord  up  the  trunk,  and 
Mr.  Peterkin  tried  to  move  it.  But  neither  he,  nor 
Agamemnon,  nor  Solomon  John  could  lift  it  alone, 
or  all  together. 

Hero  was  a  serious  difficulty.  Solomon  John 
tried  to  make  light  of  it. 


THE   PETERKINS'  SUMMER  JOURNEY.  57 

' '  Expressmen  could  lift  it.  Expressmen  were 
used  to  such  things." 

"But  we  did  not  plan  expressing  it,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin,  in  a  discouraged  tone. 

"  "We  can  take  a  carriage,"  said  Solomon  John. 

' '  I  am  afraid  the  trunk  would  not  go  on  the  back 
of  a  carriage,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"  The  hackman  could  not  lift  it,  either,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin. 

"People  do  travel  with  a  great  deal  of  baggage," 
said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  And  with  very  large  trunks,"  said  Agamem 
non. 

"  Still  they  are  trunks  that  can  be  moved,"  said 
Mr.  Peterkin,  giving  another  try  at  the  trunk,  in 
vain.  "  I  am  afraid  we  must  give  it  up,"  he  said ; 
"  it  would  be  such  a  trouble  in  going  from  place  to 
place." 

"  "We  would  not  mind  if  we  got  it  to  the  place," 
said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"But  how  to  get  it  there?"  Mr.  Peterkin  asked, 
with  a  sigh. 

"This  is  our  first  obstacle,"  said  Agamemnon; 
"  we  must  do  our  best  to  conquer  it." 

"  "What  is  an  obstacle? "  asked  the  little  boys. 

"  It  is  the  trunk,"  said  Solomon  John.     • 

"  Suppose  we  look  out  the  word  in  the  dictionary,"' 


58  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

said  Agamemnon,  taking  the  large  volume  from  the 
trunk.  "  Ah,  here  it  is "  And  he  read : 

"OBSTACLE,  an  impediment." 

11  That  is  a  worse  word  than  the  other,"  said  one 
of  the  little  boys. 

"  But  listen  to  this,"  and  Agamemnon  continued  : 
"Impediment  is  something  that  entangles  the  feet; 
obstacle,  something  that  stands  in  the  way ;  obstruc 
tion,  something  that  blocks  up  the  passage  ;  hinder- 
ance,  something  that  holds  back." 

"  The  trunk  is  all  these,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin, 
gloomily. 

"It  does  not  entangle  the  feet,"  said  Solomon 
John,  "  for  it  can't  move." 

"  I  wish  it  could,"  said  the  little  boys  together. 

Mrs.  Petcrkin  spent  a  day  or  two  in  taking  the 
things  out  of  the  trunk  and  putting  them  away. 

"At  least,"  she  said,  "this  has  given  me  some 
experience  in  packing." 

And  the  little  boys  felt  as  if  they  had  quite  been  a 
journey. 

But  the  family  did  not  like  to  give  up  their  plan. 
It  was  suggested  that  they  might  take  the  things 
out  of  the  trunk,  and  pack  it  at  the  station ;  the 
little  boys  could  go  and  come  with  the  things.  But 
Elizabeth.  Eliza  thought  the  place  too  public. 

Gradually  the  old  contents  of  the  great  trunk  went 
lm-k  asrain  to  it. 


THE   PETERKINS'  SUMMER  JOURNEY.  59 

At  length  a  friend  unexpectedly  offered  to  lend 
Mr.  Peterkin  a  good-sized  famity  trunk.  But  it  was 
late  in  the  season,  and  so  the  journey  was  put  off 
from  that  summer. 

Bat  now  the  trunk  was  sent  round  to  the  house, 
and  a  family  consultation  was  held  about  packing  it. 
Many  things  would  have  to  be  left  at  home,  it  was 
so  much  smaller  than  the  grandmother's  hair-trunk. 
But  Agamemnon  had  been  studying  the  atlas  through 
the  winter,  and  felt  familiar  with  the  more  important 
places,  so  it  would  not  be  necessary  to  take  it.  And 
Mr.  Peterkin  decided  to  leave  his  turning-lathe  at 
home,  and  his  tool-chest. 

Again  Mrs.  Peterkin  spent  two  days  in  accommo 
dating  the  things.  With  great  care  and  discretion, 
and  by  borrowing  two  more  leather  bags,  it  could  be 
accomplished.  Everything  of  importance  could  be 
packed,  except  the  little  boys'  kite.  What  should 
they  do  about  that  ? 

The  little  boys  proposed  carrying  it  in  their  hands  ; 
but  Solomon  John  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  would  not 
consent  to  this. 

"  I  do  think  it  is  one  of  the  cases  where  we  might 
ask  the  advice  of  the  lady  from  Philadelphia,"  said 
Mrs.  Peterkin  at  last. 

"  She  has  come  on  here,"  said  Agamemnon,  "and 
we  have  not  been  to  see  her  this  summer." 


GO  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

"  She  may  think  we  have  been  neglecting  her," 
suggested  Mr.  Peterkiu. 

The  little  boys  begged  to  be  allowed  to  go  and 
ask  her  opinion  about  the  kite.  They  came  back  in 
high  spirits. 

"  She  says  we  might  leave  this  one  at  home,  and 
make  a  new  kite  when  we  get  there,"  they  cried. 

"  "What  a  sensible  idea !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Peterkin  ; 
"  and  I  may  have  leisure  to  help  3'ou." 

"  We'll  take  plenty  of  newspapers,"  said  Solomon 
John. 

"  And  twine,"  said  the  little  boys.  And  this  mat 
ter  was  settled. 

The  question  then  was,  "  When  should  they  go?" 


THE  PETERKINS*  JOURNEY  AGAIN  POSTPONED.      61 


THE   PETERKINS'   JOURNEY    AGAIN   POST 
PONED. 


IT  was  very  difficult  for  the  Peterkin  family  to 
decide  where  to  go. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  did  not  want  to  go  to  the  seashore, 
as  she  was  a  little  afraid  of  the  sea. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  had  no  desire  to  go  to  the  moun 
tains. 

"  It  tires  you  so  to  go  up,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"I  suppose  one  sees  a  great  deal,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin. 

' '  I  don't  know,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza,  who  had 
been  up  Sundown  Hill,  "because,  on  the  way  up, 
your  back  is  to  the  view  all  the  time." 

"I  know  it,"  said  Solomon  John;  "and  when 
you  are  on  the  top  of  the  hill,  you  are  too  high  up 
to  see  anything.  You  can't  tell  whether  they  are 
men  or  boys." 

"And  when  you  come  down,"  continued  Eliza 
beth  Eliza,  "  you  have  to  be  looking  at  your  feet  all 


62  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

the  time,  to  see  where  you  are  treading;  so  you 
don't  get  any  view." 

"I  want  to  go  where  we  shall  really  see  some 
thing,"  said  Mr.  Petcrkin. 

"I  should  like  to  go  up  some  of  the  burning 
mountains,"  said  Agamemnon;  "volcanoes,  —  I 
have  read  of  them,  —  like  Mount  JEtna.  I  should 
like  to  go  up  one  of  those." 

"  I  should  rather  come  down,"  said  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin. 

"  The  ground  is  so  hot,"  continued  Agamemnon, 
"  that  you  can  roast  eggs  in  it." 

"  That  would  be  jolly,"cried  the  little  boys. 

"  It  must  make  it  inexpensive  for  fuel,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin. 

* '  I  suppose  the  inhabitants  don't  have  to  take  in 
coal,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"  Let's  go,"  cried  the  little  boys. 

"Only  our  india-rubber  boots  would  stick,"  said 
one  of  them. 

"  And  then  the  inhabitants  get  buried  up  now  and 
then,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  Oh,  that  was  a  great  while  ago,"  said  Agamem 
non.  "You  know  I  read  about  their  being  dug 
out." 

"  Still,  I  should  not  like  to  be  buried  up,"  said 
Mrs.  Peterkin,  "  even  if  I  were  dug  out." 


THE    PETERKINS*    JOURNEY   AGAIN   POSTPONED.       63 

"I  suppose,  by  this  time,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin, 
' '  the  top  of  the  mountain  must  have  pretty  much 
all  come  down,  all  there  is  to  come  down  —  so  many 
years ! " 

"It  must  be  the- mountain  that  came  down  to 
Mahomet,"  said  Solomon  John.  "  Somebody  told 
me  about  his  not  being  able  to  go  to  it,  so  it  came  to 
him." 

"I  would  not  like  to  go  among  the  Mahometans," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"Certainly  not  to  the  deserts  of  Arabia!"  ex 
claimed  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

The  little  boys  would  like  to  see  the  "Arabian 
Nights." 

' '  I  don't  think  we  want  to  journey  as  far  as  that," 
said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

Agamemnon  was  annoyed.  The  family  did  not 
understand.  These  volcanoes  were  not  so  far  off  as 
Arabia.  Still,  they  were  over  the  sea,  and  they 
would  hardly  care  to  travel  so  far. 

' '  Yet  I  think  we  want  to  see  something  more 
than  merely  to  go  into  the  country,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza. 

Solomon  John  had  been  sitting  in  quiet  for  some 
time. 

' '  What  is  it,  Solomon  John  ?  "  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 
' '  You  have  an  idea  —  " 


64  THE   PETERKIX   PAPERS. 

"  Yes,"  said  Solomon  John,  starting  up  and  walk 
ing  across  the  room,  in  excitement.  "  Why  should 
we  not  go  to  —  Philadelphia  ?  " 

"  And  see  the  place  that  the  lady  from  Philadel 
phia  came  from,"  exclaimed  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  She  is  so  wise,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin  ;  "  she  has 
had  such  opportunities." 

"  Let  us  go  to-morrow ;  don't  wait  for  the  vaca 
tion,"  cried  the  little  boys  in  delight. 

"  It  would  be  a  very  poor  time  to  go  now,"  said 
Mrs.  Peterkin,  "when  the  only  person  we  should 
know,  the  lady  from  Philadelphia,  is  here." 

"  She  could  tell  us  how  to  go,"  said  Solomon 
John. 

"  It  is  very  hot  in  Philadelphia  in  summer,  I  have 
heard,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"That  is  why  she  comes  away,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza. 

"  It  would  be  a  pity  to  go  when  everybody  is 
away,"  said  Agamemnon. 

"Everybody  away!"  exclaimed  the  little  boys. 
"  What  fun  !  Then  we  could  go  into  the  shops  and 
take  what  we  wanted !  " 

"Don't  be  absurd,"  said  Solomon  John;  "of 
course,  the  policemen  stay." 

"  Why  should  we  not  go  later?"  said  Agamemnon. 

"  Why  not  wait  till  the  fall?"  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 


THE   PETERKINS'    JOURNEY   AGAIN   POSTPONED.       65 

"We  ought  to  go  in  the  little  boys'  vacation," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

The  little  boys  thought  this  was  no  matter ;  they 
could  do  something  else  in  the  vacation. 

"  But  then,  it  would  not  be  a  summer  journey," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  felt  this  was  not  a  serious  objec 
tion. 

""We  might  wait  till  the  Centennial,"  suggested 
Agamemnon.* % 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  firm  against  this. 

"No,  I  am  old  enough  now,"  she  said.  "If  I 
were  to  wait  till  I'm  a  hundred,  I  shouldn't  enjoy 
anything ! " 

"  There  must  bo  enough  to  see  there  now,"  said 
Mr.  Peterkin. 

"Benjamin  Franklin  came  from  Philadelphia,  or 
else  he  went  to  it,"  said  Agamemnon. 

"Oh,  yes,  I  know  all  about  him,"  said  Solomon 
John  ;  "  he  made  paint-brushes  of  his  cat's  tail ! " 

"  Oh,  no,  that  was  another  Benjamin,  I  am  pretty 
sure,"  said  Agamemnon. 

"  I  don't  know  about  that,"  said  Solomon  John  ; 
"but  he  became  a  famous  artist,  and  painted  the 
king  and  queen  of  England." 

"You  must  have  mixed  up  the  Benjamins,"  said 
Agamemnon.  "I  will  go  and  borrow  an  encyclo 
paedia,  and  look  them  out." 


66  THE    PETERKIX    PAPERS. 

"And  we  will  make  paint-brushes  out  of  Eliza 
beth  Eliza's  cat,"  exclaimed  the  little  boys  ;  ' '  and 
we  will  become  famous,  and  paint  the  king  and 
queen  of  England." 

"  You  must  not  use  the  whole  cat,"  said  Solomon 
John ;  "  and  there  is  no  king  of  England  now." 

"And  I  cannot  spare  her  tail,"  cried  Elizabeth 
Eliza,  starting  up  in  agony  for  her  cat. 

"It  is  only  Philadelphia  cats  that  are  used  for 
paint-brushes,"  said  Mr.  Pcterkin.  "  We  will  see 
about  it  when  we  go.  I  think  it  is  a  good  plan  to 
wait  till  autumn,  and  it  will  give  us  time  to  talk 
with  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  and  consult  her 
about  it. 

The  little  boys  were  quite  satisfied.  "A  vaca 
tion  and  a  journey  too ! "  It  was  raining  a  little  ; 
but  they  put  on  their  india-rubber  boots,  and  went 
out  to  chase  some  ducks  from  a  neighboring  mud- 
puddle. 


THE   PETERKIXS   SXO  WED-UP.  67 


THE   PETERKINS   SNOWED-UP. 


MRS.  PETERKIN  awoke  one  morning  to  find  a 
heavy  snow-storm  raging.  The  wind  had  flung  the 
snow  against  the  windows,  had  heaped  it  up  around 
the  house,  and  thrown  it  into  huge  white  drifts  over 
the  fields,  covering  hedges  and  fences. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  went  from  one  window  to  the  other 
to  look  out ;  but  nothing  could  be  seen  but  the  driving 
storm  and  the  deep  white  snow.  Even  Mr.  Brom- 
wick's  house  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  street  was 
hidden  by  the  swift-falling  flakes. 

"  What  shall  I  do  about  it?"  thought  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin.  "No  roads  cleared  out!  Of  course,  there'll 
be  no  butcher  and  no  milkman !  " 

The  first  thing  to  be  done  was  to  wake  up  all  the 
family  early ;  for  there  was  enough  in  the  house  for 
breakfast,  and  there  was  no  knowing  when  they 
would  have  anything  more  to  eat. 

It  was  best  to  secure  the  breakfast  first. 

So  she  went  from  one  room  to  the  other,  as  soon 


68  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

as  it  was  light,  waking  the  family,  and  before  long 
all  were  dressed  and  down-stairs. 

And  then  all  went  round  the  house  to  see  what 
had  happened.  , 

All  the  water-pipes  that  there  were  were  frozen. 
The  milk  was  frozen.  They  could  open  the  door 
into  the  wood-house,  but  the  wood-house  door  into 
the  yard  was  banked  up  with  snow ;  and  the  front 
door,  and  the  piazza  door,  and  the  side  door  stuck. 
Nobody  could  get  in  or  out ! 

Meanwhile,  Amanda,  the  cook,  had  succeeded  in 
making  the  kitchen  fire,  but  had  discovered  there 
was  no  furnace  coal. 

"  The  furnace  coal  was  to  have  come  to-day," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  apologetically. 

"Nothing  will  come  to-day,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin, 
shivering. 

But  a  fire  could  be  made  in  a  stove  in  the  dining- 
room. 

All  were  glad  to  sit  down  to  breakfast  and  hot 
coffee.  The  little  boys  were  much  pleased  to  have 
"  ice-cream"  for  breakfast. 

"When  we  get  a  little  warm,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin, 
"we  will  consider  what  is  to  be  done." 

"I  am  thankful  I  ordered  the  sausages  yester 
day,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin.  ' '  I  was  to  have  had  a 
leg  of  mutton  to-day." 


THE   PETEKKINS   SNOWED-UP.  69 

"Nothing  will  come  to-day,"  said  Agamemnon, 
gloomily. 

"Are  these  sausages  the  last  meat  in  the  house?" 
asked  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

The  potatoes  also  were  gone,  the  barrel  of  apples 
empty,  and  she  had  meant  to  order  more  flour  that 
very  day. 

' l  Then  we  are  eating  our  last  provisions  ! "  said 
Solomon  John,  helping  himself  to  another  sausage. 

' '  I  almost  wish  we  had  stayed  in  bed,"  said  Aga 
memnon. 

"  I  thought  it  best  to  make  sure  of  our  breakfast 
first,"  repeated  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"Shall  we  literall}'  have  nothing  left  to  eat?" 
asked  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"There's  the  pig  !  "  suggested  Solomon  John. 

Yes,  happily,  the  pigsty  was  at  the  end  of  the 
wood-house,  and  could  be  reached  under  cover. 

But  some  of  the  family  could  not  eat  fresh  pork. 

"We  should  have  to  'corn'  part  of  him,"  said 
Agamemnon. 

"My  butcher  has  always  told  me,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin,  "that  if  I  wanted  a  ham,  I  must  keep  a 
pig.  Now  we  have  the  pig,  but  have  not  the  ham ! " 

"Perhaps  we  could  'corn'  one  or  two  of  his 
legs,"  suggested  one  of  the  little  boys. 


70  TUB   PETEKKJN   PAPERS. 

"  We  need  not  settle  that  now,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 
kin.  "At  least  the  pig  will  keep  us  from  starv 
ing." 

The  little  boys  looked  serious  ;  they  were  fond  of 
their  pig. 

"If  we  had  only  decided  to  keep  a  cow,"  said 
Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"Alas!  yes,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "one  learns  a 
great  many  things  too  late  ! " 

"Then  we  might  have  had  ice-cream  all  the 
time  !  "  exclaimed  the  little  boys. 

Indeed,  the  little  boys,  in  spite  of  the  prospect  of 
starving,  were  quite  pleasantly  excited  at  the  idea 
of  being  snowed-up,  and  hurried  through  their  break 
fasts  that  they  might  go  and  try  to  shovel  out  a  path 
from  one  of  the  doors. 

"  I  ought  to  know  more  about  the  water-pipes," 
said  Mr.  Peterkin.  "  Now,  I  shut  off  the  water 
last  night  in  the  bath-room,  or  else  I  forgot  to ;  and 
I  ought  to  have  shut  it  off  in  the  cellar." 

The  little  boys  came  back.  Such  a  wind  at  the 
front  door,  they  were  going  to  try  the  side  door. 

"Another  thing  I  have  learned  to-day,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin,  "is  not  to  have  all  the  doors  on  one  side 
of  the  house,  because  the  storm  blows  the  snow 
against  all  the  doors. 

Solomon  John  started  up. 


THE   PETERKINS   SNOWED-UP.  71 

' '  Let  us  see  if  we  are  blocked  up  on  the  east  side 
of  the  house  ! "  he  exclaimed. 

"  Of  what  use,"  asked  Mr.  Peterkin,  "  since  we 
have  no  door  on  the  east  side  ?  " 

"  We  could  cut  one  !  "  said  Solomon  John. 

"Yes,  we  could  cut  a  door!"  exclaimed  Aga 
memnon. 

"  But  how  can  we  tell  whether  there  is  any  snow 
there,"  asked  Elizabeth  Eliza,  "for  there  is  no 
window  ?  " 

In  fact,  the  east  side  of  the  Peterkins'  house 
formed  a  blank  wall.  The  owner  had  originally 
planned  a  little  block  of  two  semi-detached  houses. 
He  had  completed  only  one,  very  semi  and  very 
detached. 

"It  is  not  necessary  to  see,"  said  Agamemnon, 
profoundly ;  "  of  course,  if  the  storm  blows  against 
this  side  of  the  house,  the  house  itself  must  keep 
the  snow  from  the  other  side." 

"Yes,"  said  Solomon  John,  "there  must  be  a 
space  clear  of  snow  on  the  east  side  of  the  house, 
and  if  we  could  open  a  way  to  that  — " 

"  "We  could  open  a  way  to  the  butcher,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin,  promptly. 

Agamemnon  went  for  his  pickaxe.  He  had  kept 
one  in  the  house  ever  since  the  adventure  of  the 
dumb-waiter. 


72  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

*'  What  part  of  the  wall  had  we  better  attack?" 
asked  Mr.  Peterkin. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  alarmed. 

'•  What  will  Mr.  Mudge,  the  owner  of  the  house, 
think  of  it?"  she  exclaimed.  "Have  we  a  right  to 
injure  the  wall  of  the  house?  " 

"  It  is  right  to  preserve  ourselves  from  starving," 
said  Mr.  Peterkin.  ' '  The  drowning  man  must 
snatch  at  a  straw !  " 

"  It  is  better  that  he  should  find  his  house  chopped 
a  little  when  the  thaw  comes.,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
"  than  that  he  should  find  us  tying  about  the  house, 
dead  of  hunger,  upon  the  floor." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  partially  convinced. 

The  little  boys  came  in  to  warm  their  hands. 
They  had  not  succeeded  in  opening  the  side  door, 
and  were  planning  trying  to  open  the  door  from  the 
wood-house  to  the  garden. 

"  That  would  be  of  no  use,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 
"The  butcher  cannot  get  into  the  garden." 

"But  we  might  shovel  off  the  snow,"  suggested 
one  of  the  little  boys,  "and  dig  down  to  some  of 
last  year's  onions." 

Meanwhile,  Mr.  Peterkin,  Agamemnon,  and  Solo 
mon  John  had  been  bringing  together  their  car 
penter's  tools,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  proposed  using  a 
gouge,  if  they  would  choose  the  right  spot  to  begin. 


THE   PETERKINS    SNOWED-UP.  73 

The  little  boys  were  delighted  with  the  plan,  and 
hastened  to  find, —  one,  a  little  hatchet,  and  the 
other  a  gimlet.  Even  Amanda  armed  herself  with 
a  poker. 

"  It  would  be  better  to  begin  on  the  ground  floor," 
said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"  Except  that  we  may  meet  with  a  stone  founda 
tion,"  said  Solomon  John. 

"If  the  wall  is  thinner  up  stairs,"  said  Agamem 
non,  "  it  will  do  as  well  to  cut  a  window  as  a  door, 
and  haul  up  anything  the  butcher  may  bring  below 
in  his  cart." 

Everybody  began  to  pound  a  little  on  the  wall  to 
find  a  favorable  place,  and  there  was  a  great  deal  of 
noise.  The  little  bo}~s  actually  cut  a  bit  out  of  the 
plastering  with  their  hatchet  and  gimlet.  Solomon 
John  confided  to  Elizabeth  Eliza  that  it  reminded 
him  of  stories  of  prisoners  who  cut  themselves  free, 
through  stone  walls,  after  days  and  days  of  secret 
labor. 

Mrs.  Peterkin,  even,  had  come  with  a  pair  of 
tongs  in  her  hand.  She  was  interrupted  by  a  voice 
behind  her. 

"  Here's  your  leg  of  mutton,  marm  !" 

It  was  the  butcher.     How  had  he  got  in  ? 

"Excuse  me,  marm,  for  coming  in  at  the  side 
door,  but  the  back  gate  is  kinder  blocked  up.  You 


74  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

were  making  such  a  pounding,  I  could  not  make 
anybody  hear  me  knock  at  the  side  door." 

"But  how  did  you  make  a  path  to  the  door?" 
asked  Mr.  Peterkin.  "You  must  have  been  work 
ing  at  it  a  long  time.  It  must  be  near  noon  now." 

"I'm  about  on  regular  time,"  answered  the 
butcher.  "  The  town  team  has  cleared  out  the 
high-road,  and  the  wind  has  been  down  the  last  half- 
hour.  The  storm  is  over." 

True  enough !  The  Peterkins  had  been  so  busy 
inside  the  house,  they  had  not  noticed  the  ceasing 
of  the  storm  outside. 

"  And  we  were  all  up  an  hour  earlier  than  usual," 
said  Mr.  Peterkin,  when  the  butcher  left.  He  had 
not  explained  to  the  butcher  why  he  had  a  pickaxe 
in  his  hand. 

"If  we  had  lain  abed  till  the  usual  time,"  said 
Solomon  John,  "  we  should  have  been  all  right." 

"  For  here  is  the  milkman ! "  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
as  a  knock  was  now  heard  at  the  side  door. 

"  It  is  a  good  thing  to  learn,"  said  Mr.  Peterkiu, 
"  not  to  get  up  any  earlier  than  is  necessary." 


THE  PETERKIN3  DECIDE  TO  KEEP  A  COW.    75 


THE  PETERKINS  DECIDE  TO  KEEP  A  COW. 


NOT  that  they  were  fond  of  drinking  milk,  nor 
that  they  drank  very  much.  But  for  that  reason 
Mr.  Peterkin  thought  it  would  be  well  to  have  a  cow, 
to  encourage  the  family  to  drink  more,  as  he  felt  it 
would  be  so  healthy. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  recalled  the  troubles  of  the  last 
cold  winter,  and  how  near  they  came  to  starving, 
when  they  were  shut  up  in  a  severe  snow-storm, 
and  the  water-pipes  burst,  and  the  milk  was  frozen. 
If  the  cow-shed  could  open  out  of  the  wood-shed, 
such  trouble  might  be  prevented. 

Tony  Larkin  was  to  come  over  and  milk  the  cow 
every  morning,  and  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John 
agreed  to  learn  how  to  milk,  in  case  Tony  should  be 
"  snowed  up,"  or  have  the  whooping-cough  in  the 
course  of  the  winter.  The  little  boys  thought  they 
knew  how  alread3r. 

But  if  they  were  to  have  three  or  four  pailfuls  of 
milk  every  day,  it  was  important  to  know  where  to 
keep  it. 


76  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

"One  way  will  be,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "  to  use 
a  great  deal  every  day.  We  will  make  butter." 

"  That  will  be  admirable,"  thought  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"And  custards,"  suggested  Solomon  John. 

"And  s}-llabiib,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"And  cocoanut  cakes,"  exclaimed  the  little  boys. 

u  We  don't  need  the  milk  for  cocoanut  cakes," 
said  Mrs.  Pcterkin. 

The  little  boys  thought  they  might  have  a  cocoa- 
nut  tree  instead  of  a  cow.  You  could  have  the 
milk  from  the  cocoanuts,  and  it  would  be  pleasant 
climbing  the  tree,  and  you  would  not  have  to  feed 
it. 

"  Yes,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "  we  shall  have  to  feed 
the  cow." 

4 '  Where  shall  we  pasture  her  ? "  asked  Aga 
memnon. 

"  Up  on  the  hills,  up  on  the  hills,"  exclaimed  the 
little  bo}'s,  "where  there  are  a  great  many  bars  to 
take  down,  and  huckleberry-bushes !  " 

Mr.  Peterkin  had  been  thinking  of  then*  own  little 
lot  behind  the  house. 

"  But  I  don't  know,"  he  said,  "  but  the  cow  might 
eat  off  all  the  grass  in  one  day,  and  there  would  not 
be  any  left  for  to-morrow,  unless  the  grass  grew  fast 
enough  every  night." 

Agamemnon    said    it    would    depend    upon    the 


THE  PETERKINS  DECIDE  TO  KEEP  A  COW.    77 

season.  In  a  rainy  season  the  grass  would  come 
up  very  fast,  in  a  drought  it  might  not  grow  at  all.  - 

"I  suppose,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "that  is  the 
worst  of  having  a  cow,  there  might  be  a  drought." 

Mr.  Peterkin  thought  thc}r  might  make  some  cal 
culation  from  the  quantit}-  of  grass  in  the  lot. 

Solomon  John  suggested  that  measurements  might 
be  made  by  seeing  how  much  grass  the  Bromwicks' 
cow,  opposite  them,  cat  up  in  a  day. 

The  little  boj's  agreed  to  go  over  and  spend  the 
day  on  the  Bromwicks'  fence,  and  take  an  observa 
tion. 

"The  trouble  would  be,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
"that  cows  walk  about  so,  and  the  Bromwicks'  yard 
is  very  large.  Now  she  would  be  eating  in  one 
place,  and  then  she  would  walk  to  another.  She 
would  not  be  eating  all  the  tune,  a  part  of  the  tune 
she  would  be  chewing." 

The  little  boys  thought  they  should  like  nothing 
better  than  to  have  some  sticks,  and  keep  the  cow 
in  one  corner  of  the  yard  till  the  calculations  were 
made. 

But  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  afraid  the  Bromwicks 
would  not  like  it. 

"Of  course,  it  would  bring  aU  the  boys  in  the 
school  about  the  place,  and  very  likely  they  would 
make  the  cow  angry." 


78  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

Agamemnon  recalled  that  Mr.  Bromwick  once 
wanted  to  hire  Mr.  Peterkin's  lot  for  his  cow. 

Mr.  Petcrkin  started  up. 

' '  That  is  true  ;  and  of  course  Mr.  Bromwick  must 
have  known  there  was  feed  enough  for  one  cow." 

"And  the  reason  you  didn't  let  him  have  it,"  said 
Solomon  John,  "  was  that  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  afraid 
of  cows." 

"I  did  not  like  the  idea,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
' '  of  their  cow's*  looking  at  me  over  the  top  of  the 
fence,  perhaps,  when  I  should  be  planting  the  sweet 
pease  in  the  garden.  I  hope  our  cow  would  be  a 
quiet  one..  I  should  not  like  her  jumping  over  the 
fence  into  the  flower-beds." 

Mr.  Peterkin  declared  that  he  should  buy  a  cow 
of  the  quietest  kind. 

' '  I  should  think  something  might  be  done  about 
covering  her  horns,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin;  "that 
seems  the  most  dangerous  part.  Perhaps  they  might 
be  padded  with  cotton." 

Elizabeth  Eliza  said  cows  were  built  so  large  and 
clumsy,  that  if  they  came  at  3'ou  they  could  not  help 
knocking  you  over. 

The  little  boys  would  prefer  having  the  pasture  a 
great  way  off.  Half  the  fun  of  having  a  cow  would 
be  going  up  on  the  hills  after  her. 

Agamemnon  thought  the  feed  was  not  so  good  on 
the  hills. 


THE   PETERKINS   DECIDE   TO   KEEP   A   COW.          79 

' '  The  cow  would  like  it  ever  so  much  better,"  the 
little  boys  declared,  "  on  account  of  the  variety. 
If  she  did  not  like  the  rocks  and  the  bushes,  she 
could  walk  round  and  find  the  grassy  places." 

"I  am  not  sure,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza,  "but  it 
would  be  less  dangerous  to  keep  the  cow  in  the  lot 
behind  the  house,  because  she  would  not  be  com 
ing  and  going,  morning  and  night,  in  that  jerky  way 
the  Larkins'  cows  come  home.  They  don't  mind 
which  gate  they  rush  in  at.  I  should  hate  to  have 
our  cow  dash  into  our  front  yard  just  as  I  was  com 
ing  home  of  an  afternoon." 

"  That  is  true,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin  ;  "we  can  have 
the  door  of  the  cow-house  open  directly  into  the 
pasture,  and  save  the  coming  and  going." 

The  little  boys  were  quite  disappointed.  The 
cow  would  miss  the  exercise,  and  they  would  lose  a 
great  pleasure. 

Solomon  John  suggested  that  they  might  sit  on 
the  fence  and  watch  the  cow. 

It  was  decided  to  keep  the  cow  in  their  own  pas 
ture  ;  and  as  they  were  to  put  on  an  end  kitchen,  it 
would  be  perfectly  easy  to  build  a  dairy. 

The  cow  proved  a  quiet  one.  She  was  a  little 
excited  when  all  the  family  stood  round  at  the  first 
milking,  and  watched  her  slowly  walking  into  the 
shed. 


80  THE    PETERKIX    PAPERS. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  had  her  scarlet  sack  dyed  brown 
a  fortnight  before.  It  was  the  one  she  did  her 
gardening  in,  and  it  might  have  infuriated  the  cow. 
And  she  kept  out  of  the  garden  the  first  day  or  two. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  bought  the  best 
kind  of  milk-pans  of  every  size. 

But  there  was  a  little  disappointment  about  the 
taste  of  the  milk. 

The  little  "boys  liked  it  and  drank  large  mugs  of 
it.  Elizabeth  Eliza  said  she  could  never  learn  to 
love  milk  warm  from  the  cow,  though  she  would  like 
to  do  her  best  to  patronize  the  cow. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  afraid  Amanda  did  not  under 
stand  about  taking  care  of  the  milk ;  yet  she  had 
been  down  to  overlook  her,  and  she  was  sure  the 
pans  and  the  closet  were  all  clean. 

"  Suppose  we  send  a  pitcher  of  cream  over  to  the 
lady  from  Philadelphia  to  try,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza ; 
"  it  will  be  a  pretty  attention  before  she  goes." 

"  It  might  be  awkward  if  she  didn't  like  it,"  said 
Solomon  John.  "  Perhaps  something  is  the  matter 
with  the  grass." 

"  I  gave  the  cow  an  apple  to  eat  yesterday, "  said 
one  of  the  little  boys,  remorsefully. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  went  over,  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  too, 
and  explained  all  to  the  lady  from  Philadelphia, 
asking  her  to  taste  the  milk. 


THE    PETERKINS    DECIDE    TO    KEEP    A    COW.          81 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  tasted,  and  said  the 
truth  was  that  the  milk  was  sour  ! 

"I  was  afraid  it  was  so,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin ; 
"  but  I  didn't  know  what  to  expect  from  these  new 
kinds  of  cows." 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  asked  where  the  milk 
was  kept. 

"  In  the  new  dairy,"  answered  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

' '  Is  that  in  a  cool  place  ? "  asked  the  lady  from 
Philadelphia. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  explained  it  was  close  by  the  new 
kitchen. 

"  Is  it  near  the  chimney  ?  "  inquired  the  lady  from 
Philadelphia. 

"  It  is  directly  back  of  the  chimney  and  the  new 
kitchen-range,"  replied  Elizabeth  Eliza.  "I  sup 
pose  it  is  too  hot ! " 

"Well,  well!"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "that  is  it! 
Last  winter  the  milk  froze,  and  now  we  have  gone 
to  the  other  extreme !  Where  shall  we  put  our 
dairy?" 


82  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 


THE  PETERKINS'  CHRISTMAS-TREE. 


EARLY  in  the  autumn  the  Peterkins  began  to 
prepare  for  their  Christmas-tree.  Everything  was 
done  in  great  privacy,  as  it  was  to  be  a  surprise  to 
the  neighbors,  as  well  as  to  the  rest  of  the  famity. 
Mr.  Peterkin  had  been  up  to  Mr.  Bromwick's  wood- 
lot,  and,  with  his  consent,  selected  the  tree.  Aga 
memnon  went  to  look  at  it  occasionally  after  dark, 
and  Solomon  John  made  frequent  visits  to  it,  morn 
ings,  just  after  sunrise.  Mr.  Peterkin  drove  Eliza 
beth  Eliza  and  her  mother  that  way,  and  pointed 
furtively  to  it  with  his  whip  ;  but  none  of  them  ever 
spoke  of  it  aloud  to  each  other.  It  was  suspected 
that  the  little  boys  had  been  to  see  it  Wednesday 
and  Saturday  afternoons.  But  they  came  home  with 
their  pockets  full  of  chestnuts,  and  said  nothing 
about  it. 

At  length  Mr.  Peterkin  had  it  cut  down,  and 
brought  secretly  into  the  Larkins'  barn.  A  week  or 
two  before  Christmas,  a  measurement  was  made  of 
it,  with  Elizabeth  Eliza's  yard-measure.  To  Mr. 


THE    PETERKTNS'    CHRISTMAS-TREE.  83 

Peterkin's  great  dismay,  it  was  discovered  that  it 
was  too  high  to  stand  in  the  back  parlor.  This  fact 
was  brought  out  at  a  secret  council  of  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin,  Elizabeth  Eliza,  and  Agamemnon. 

Agamemnon  suggested  that  it  might  be  set  up 
slanting,  but  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  very  sure  it  would 
make  her  dizzy,  and  the  candles  would  drip. 

But  a  brilliant  idea  came  to  Mr.  Peterkin.  He 
proposed  that  the  ceiling  of  the  parlor  should  be 
raised  to  make  room  for  the  top  of  the  tree. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  thought  the  space  would  need  to 
be  quite  large.  It  must  not  be  like  a  small  box,  or 
you  could  notice  the  tree. 

"Yes,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "I  should  have  the 
ceiling  lifted  all  across  the  room ;  the  effect  would 
be  finer." 

Elizabeth  Eliza  objected  to  having  the  whole  ceil 
ing  raised,  because  her  room  was  over  the  back  par 
lor,  and  she  would  have  no  floor  while  the  alteration 
was  going  on,  which  would  be  very  awkward. 
Besides,  her  room  was  not  very  high  now,  and  if  the 
floor  were  raised,  perhaps  she  could  not  walk  in  it 
upright. 

Mr.  Peterkin  explained  that  he  didn't  propose 
altering  the  whole  ceiling,  but  to  lift  up  a  ridge 
across  the  room  at  the  back  part  where  the  tree  was 
to  stand.  This  would  make  a  hump,  to  be  sure,  in 


84  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

Elizabeth  Eliza's  room  ;  but  it  would  go  across  the 
whole  room. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  said  she  would  not  mind  that.  It 
would  be  like  the  cuddy  thing  that  comes  up  on  the 
deck  of  a  ship,  that  you  sit  against,  only  here  you 
would  not  have  the  seasickness.  She  thought  she 
should  like  it,  for  a  rarity.  She  might  use  it  for  a 
divan. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  it  would  come  in  the  worn 
place  of  the  carpet,  and  might  be  a  convenience  in 
making  the  carpet  over. 

Agamemnon  was  afraid  there  would  be  trouble  in 
keeping  the  matter  secret,  for  it  would  be  a  long 
piece  of  work  for  a  carpenter ;  but  Mr.  Peterkin 
proposed  having  the  carpenter  for  a  day  or  two,  for 
a  number  of  other  jobs. 

One  of  them  was  to  make  all  the  chairs  in  the 
house  of  the  same  height,  for  Mrs.  Peterkin  had 
nearly  broken  her  spine,  by  sitting  down  in  a  chair 
that  she  had  supposed  was  her  own  rocking-chair, 
and  it  had  proved  to  be  two  inches  lower.  The  lit 
tle  boys  were  now  large  enough  to  sit  in  any  chair ; 
so  a  medium  was  fixed  upon  to  satisfy  all  the  family, 
and  the  chairs  were  made  uniformly  of  the  same 
height. 

On  consulting  the  carpenter,  however,  he  insisted 
that  the  tree  could  be  cut  off  at  the  lower  end  to 


THE   PETERKINS'    CHRISTMAS-TREE.  85 

suit  the  height  of  the  parlor,  and  demurred  at  so 
great  a  change  as  altering  the  ceiling.  But  Mr. 
Peterkin  had  set  his  mind  upon  the  improvement, 
and  Elizabeth  Eliza  had  cut  her  carpet  in  prepara 
tion  for  it. 

So  the  folding-doors  into  the  back  parlor  were 
closed,  and  for  nearly  a  fortnight  before  Christmas, 
there  was  great  litter  of  fallen  plastering,  and  laths, 
and  chips,  and  shavings  ;  and  Elizabeth  Eliza's  car 
pet  was  taken  up,  and  the  furniture  had  to  be 
changed,  and  one  night  she  had  to  sleep  at  the 
Bromwicks',  for  there  was  a  long  hole  in  her  floor 
that  might  be  dangerous. 

All  this  delighted  the  little  boys.  They  could  not 
understand  what  was  going  on.  Perhaps  they  sus 
pected  a  Christmas-tree,  but  they  did  not  know  why 
a  Christmas-tree  should  have  so  many  chips,  and 
were  still  more  astonished  at  the  hump  that  appeared 
in  Elizabeth  Eliza's  room.  It  must  be  a  Christmas 
present,  or  else  the  tree  in  a  box. 

Some  aunts  and  uncles,  too,  arrived  a  day  or  two 
before  Christmas,  with  some  small  cousins.  These 
cousins  occupied  the  attention  of  the  little  boys,  and 
there  was  a  great  deal  of  whispering  and  mystery, 
behind  doors,  and  under  the  stairs,  and  in  the  cor 
ners  of  the  entry. 

Solomon  John  was  busy,  privately  making  some 


86  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

candles  for  the  tree.  He  had  been  collecting  some 
bayberries,  as  he  understood  they  made  very  nice 
candles,  so  that  it  would  not  be  necessary  to  buy 
any. 

The  elders  of  the  family  never  all  went  into  the 
back  parlor  together,  and  all  tried  not  to  see  what 
was  going  on.  Mrs.  Peterkin  would  go  in  with  Sol 
omon  John,  or  Mr.  Peterkin  with  Elizabeth  Eliza,  or 
Elizabeth  Eliza  and  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John. 
The  little  boys  and  the  small  cousins  were  never 
allowed  even  to  look  inside  the  room. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  meanwhile  went  into  town  a  num 
ber  of  times.  She  wanted  to  consult  Amanda  as  to 
how  much  ice-cream  they  should  need,  and  whether 
they  could  make  it  at  home,  as  they  had  cream  and 
ice.  She  was  pretty  busy  in  her  own  room  ;  the  fur 
niture  had  to  be  changed,  and  the  carpet  altered. 
The  "  hump  "  was  higher  than  she  expected.  There 
was  danger  of  bumping  her  own  head  whenever  she 
crossed  it.  She  had  to  nail  some  padding  on  the 
ceiling  for  fear  of  accidents. 

The  afternoon  before  Christmas,  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
Solomon  John,  and  their  father,  collected  in  the 
back  parlor  for  a  council.  The  carpenters  had  done 
their  work,  and  the  tree  stood  at  its  full  height  at 
the  back  of  the  room,  the  top  stretching  up  into  the 
space  arranged  for  it.  All  the  chips  and  shavings 
were  cleared  away,  and  it  stood  on  a  neat  box. 


THE    PETERKINS'    CHRISTMAS-TREE.  87 

But  what  were  they  to  put  upon  the  tree  ? 

Solomon  John  had  brought  in  his  supply  of  can 
dles,  but  they  proved  to  be  very  "  stringy"  and  very 
few  of  them.  It  was  strange  how  many  baj'berries 
it  took  to  make  a  few  candles  !  The  little  boys  had 
helped  him,  and  he  had  gathered  as  much  as  a  bushel 
of  bayberries.  He  had  put  them  in  water,  and 
skimmed  off  the  wax,  according  to  the  directions, 
but  there  was  so  little  wax ! 

Solomon  John  had  given  the  little  boys  some  of 
the  bits  sawed  off  from  the  legs  of  the  chairs.  He 
had  suggested  the}-  should  cover  them  with  gilt 
paper,  to  answer  for  gilt  apples,  without  telling  them 
what  they  were  for. 

These  apples,  a  little  blunt  at  the  end,  and  the 
candles,  were  all  they  had  for  the  tree  ! 

After  all  her  trips  into  town,  Elizabeth  Eliza  had 
forgotten  to  bring  anything  for  it. 

"  I  thought  of  candies  and  sugar-plums,"  she  said, 
"  but  I  concluded  if  we  made  caramels  ourselves  we 
should  not  need  them.  But,  then,  we  have  not  made 
caramels.  The  fact  is,  that  day  my  head  was  full 
of  my  carpet.  I  had  bumped  it  pretty  badly,  too." 

Mr.  Peterkin  wished  he  had  taken,  instead  of  a 
fir-tree,  an  apple-tree  he  had  seen  in  October,  full 
of  red  fruit. 

"But  the  leaves  would  have  fallen  off  by  this 
time,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 


88  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

"  And  the  apples,  too,"  said  Solomon  John. 

"It  is  odd  I  should  have  forgotten,  that  davv  I 
went  in  on  purpose  to  get  the  things,"  said  Eliza 
beth  Eliza,  musingly.  "  But  I  went  from  shop  to 
shop,  and  didn't  know  exactly  what  to  get.  I  saw 
a  great  many  gilt  things  for  Christmas-trees,  but  I 
knew  the  little  boys  were  making  the  gilt  apples ; 
there  were  plenty  of  candles  in  the  shops,  but  I 
knew  Solomon  John  was  making  the  candles." 

Mr.  Peterkin  thought  it  was  quite  natural. 

Solomon  John  wondered  if  it  were  too  late  for 
them  to  go  into  town  now. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  could  not  go  in  the  next  morning, 
for  there  was  to  be  a  grand  Christmas  dinner,  and 
Mr.  Peterkin  could  not  be  spared,  and  Solomon 
John  was  sure  he  and  Agamemnon  would  not  know 
what  to  buy.  Besides,  the)'  would  want  to  try  the 
candles  to-night. 

Mr.  Peterkin  asked  if  the  presents  everybody  had 
been  preparing  would  not  answer?  But  Elizabeth 
Eliza  knew  the}7  would  be  too  heavy. 

A  gloom  came  over  the  room.  There  was  only  a 
flickering  gleam  from  one  of  Solomon  John's  candles 
that  he  had  lighted  by  way  of  trial. 

Solomon  John  again  proposed  going  into  town. 
He  lighted  a  match  to  examine  the  newspaper 
about  the  trains.  There  were  plenty  of  trains 


THE    PETERKINS*    CHRISTMAS-TREE.  89 

coining  out  at  that  hour,  but  none  going  in  ex 
cept  a  very  late  one.  That  would  not  leave  time 
to  do  anything  and  come  back. 

"We  could  go  in,  Elizabeth  Eliza  and  I,"  said 
Solomon  John,  "  but  we  should  not  have  time  to 
buy  anything." 

Agamemnon  was  summoned  in.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
was  entertaining  the  uncles  and  aunts  in  the  front 
parlor.  Agamemnon  wished  there  was  time  to  study 
up  something  about  electric  lights.  If  they  could 
only  have  a  calcium  light !  Solomon  John's  candle 
sputtered  and  went  out. 

At  this  moment  there  was  a  loud  knocking  at  the 
front  door.  The  little  boys,  and  the  small  cousins, 
and  the  uncles  and  aunts,  and  Mrs.  Peterkin,  has 
tened  to  see  what  was  the  matter. 

The  uncles  and  aunts  thought  somebody's  house 
must  be  on  fire.  The  door  was  opened,  and  there 
was  a  man,  white  with  flakes,  for  it  was  beginning 
to  snow,  and  he  was  pulling  in  a  large  box. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  supposed  it  contained  some  of 
Elizabeth  Eliza's  purchases,  so  she  ordered  it  to 
be  pushed  into  the  back  parlor,  and  hastily  called 
back  her  guests  and  the  little  boys  into  the  other 
room.  The  little  boys  and  the  small  cousins  were 
sure  they  had  seen  Santa  Glaus  himself. 

Mr.  Peterkin  lighted  the  gas.     The  box  was  ad- 


90  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

dressed  to  Elizabeth  Eliza.  It  was  from  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia !  She  had  gathered  a  hint  from 
Elizabeth  Eliza's  letters  that  there  was  to  be  a 
Christmas-tree,  and  had  filled  this  box  with  all  that 
would  be  needed. 

It  was  opened  directl}'.  There  was  ever}"  kind  of 
gilt  hanging-thing,  from  gilt  pea-pods  to  butterflies 
on  springs.  There  were  shining  flags  and  lanterns, 
and  bird-cages,  and  nests  with  birds  sitting  on  them, 
baskets  of  fruit,  gilt  apples  and  bunches  of  grapes, 
and,  at  the  bottom  of  the  whole,  a  large  box  of 
candles  and  a  box  of  Philadelphia  bonbons ! 

Elizabeth  Eliza  and  Solomon  John  could  scarcely 
keep  from  screaming.  The  little  bo}'s  and  the  small 
cousins  knocked  on  the  folding-doors  to  ask  what 
was  the  matter. 

Hastily  Mr.  Peterkin  and  the  rest  took  out  the 
things  and  hung  them  on  the  tree,  and  put  on  the 
caudles. 

When  all  was  done,  it  looked  so  well  that  Mr. 
Peterkin  exclaimed : 

"  Let  us  light  the  candles  now,  and  send  to  in 
vite  all  the  neighbors  to-night,  and  have  the  tree  on 
Christmas  Eve ! " 

And  so  it  was  that  the  Peterkins  had  their  Christ 
mas-tree  the  day  before,  and  on  Christmas  night 
could  go  and  visit  their  neighbors. 


THE  PETEKKINS  AT  THE  CENTENNIAL.      91 


THE  PETERKINS  AT  THE  CENTENNIAL. 


THEY  went. 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  had  invited  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Peterkin  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  and  the  little 
boys  to  her  own  house,  promising  to  find  rooms 
for  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John  in  the  neigh 
borhood,  asking  them  to  take  their  meals  at  her 
house. 

But  she  lived  far  down  in  the  city,  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin  felt  she  would  not  want  to  go  such  a  dis 
tance  every  day  to  the  exhibition.  Agamemnon 
and  Solomon  John  proposed  stopping  at  the  Great 
Atlas  Hotel,  just  outside  the  grounds.  The  little 
boys  wished  they  could  spend  the  night  inside. 

Meanwhile,  a  friend  told  them  of  lodgings  they 
could  have  up- town,  on  the  same  side  of  the  river 
as  the  Centennial  grounds,  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  de 
cided  for  this.  She  was  afraid  of  fire  in  one  of  the 
lath-aud-plaster  hotels,  and  Mr.  Peterkin  agreed 
with  her. 

So  a  kind  and  respectful  letter  was  written  to  the 


92  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

lady  from  Philadelphia,  declining  her  invitation,  but 
hoping  to  be  able  to  call  upon  her  often  during  their 
visit. 

They  did  not  reach  their  lodgings  till  late  at  night, 
between  eleven  and  twelve  o'clock,  so  were  scarcel}1" 
ready  for  an  early  start  the  next  morning.  Then 
they  had  to  hold  consultation  as  to  the  best  method 
of  proceeding,  and  to  ask  their  fellow-boarders  how 
to  reach  the  horse-cars,  for  the}T  were  shocked  to 
find  that  they  were  nearly  two  miles  from  the  near 
est  entrance  to  the  grounds.  Mr.  Peterkin,  Aga 
memnon,  and  Solomon  John  would  not  mind  walk 
ing  ;  but  Mrs.  Peterkin  declared  it  would  be  too 
much  for  her,  and  the  first  day  they  all  wished  to 
go  together.  Mrs.  Peterkin  had  brought  with  her, 
all  the  way,  a  camp-stool,  as  she  knew  she  should 
want  to  sit  down  often  and  it  might  be  difficult  to 
find  a  seat. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  had  an  extra  shawl,  Mr.  Peterkin 
his  umbrella,  and  the  little  boys  their  indian-rubber 
boots  ;  they  found  it  something  of  a  walk  to  Lancas 
ter  Avenue,  and  they  were  obliged  to  take  it  slowly. 
By  the  time  they  reached  it,  every  car  that  passed 
was  so  crowded  there  was  not  even  a  foothold.  But 
the  cars  going  south  were  all  empty.  Agamemnon 
had  heard  from  one  of  the  returned  Centennial  visi 
tors  that  it  wa«  a  good  plan  to  take  a  car  going 


THE  PETERKINS  AT  THE  CENTENNIAL.      93 

down  to  the  starting-point  of  the  upward-bound  cars. 
This  they  decided  to  do ;  it  would  give  them  also  a 
view  of  the  city.  They  were  about  an  hour  going 
down,  and  a  little  while  finding  the  right  car,  but 
did  reach  one  with  plenty  of  seats.  This  soon 
became  crowded,  and  was  slow  in  its  progress,  and 
it  was  a  long  time  before  they  reached  the  grounds. 
They  were  then  some  time  in  deciding  whether  to  fol 
low  the  people  who  were  going  into  the  Main  Build 
ing,  or  those  who  went  in  at  the  principal  gate. 
Then  Mrs.  Peterkin,  who  carried  her  camp-stool, 
did  not  like  to  have  the  family  separated  in  going 
in,  so  she  wanted  to  manage  that  all  should  go 
through  the  turnstile  together,  which  was  difficult 
to  do  and  to  pay  their  separate  fifty-cent  pieces.  So 
when  they  were  all  inside,  and  Mr.  Peterkin  looked 
at  his  watch,  he  found  it  was  already  nearly  three 
o'clock !  Now  some  of  their  fellow-boarders  had 
earnestly  advised  them  to  come  back  early,  as  the 
cars  were  so  crowded  at  a  later  hour.  And  Mrs. 
Peterkin  had  made  up  her  mind  it  would  be  best, 
as  it  was  her  first  da}',  to  return  at  three  o'clock. 
At  the  same  time  they  discovered  they  were  all  very 
hungrj-,  and  Mr.  Peterkin  proposed  they  should  go 
back  to  some  of  the  numerous  restaurants  he  had 
seen  outside  of  the  grounds,  and  then  go  homo. 
But  they  all  exclaimed  against  this.  They  were 


94  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

now  in  the  broad  space  between  the  Main  Build 
ing  and  Machinery  Hall  when,  as  they  walked  on, 
Elizabeth  Eliza  espied  the  sign  of  the  ' '  House  of 
Public  Comfort." 

"  This  is  exactly  what  we  want,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 
kin.  "  "We  will  get  our  lunch  there." 

But,  unfortunately,  there  was  a  very  large  crowd 
by  the  lunch  counter.  It  was  impossible  for  the 
whole  family  to  press  up  together,  and  very  difficult 
to  find  anjthing  to  eat.  Solomon  John  did  find 
some  popped-corn  balls,  in  magenta-colored  paper, 
for  the  little  boys,  and  Agamemnon  secured  some 
doughnuts  for  his  mother  and  Elizabeth  Eliza,  while 
his  father  succeeded  in  eating  a  few  raw  oysters. 
The  crowd  was  so  great  that  Mrs.  Peteikin  could 
not  even  open  her  camp-stool. 

"I  think  now,"  said  she,  "we  had  better  go 
back,  we  have  had  enough  for  one  da}*,  and  every 
body  says  we  ought  not  overtire  ourselves  at  the 
beginning,  and  I  am  sure  I  was  overtired  when  I 
got  here." 

Agamemnon  thought  they  had  not  yet  fairly 
looked  at  things.  They  could  hardly  say  when 
they  went  back  to  their  boarding-house  what  they 
had  seen.  So  they  all  went  to  the  centre  of  the 
large  square  of  entrances  by  the  fountain,  and 
looked  at  the  Main  Building  on  one  side,  and 


THE   PETERK.INS   AT   THE  .CENTENNIAL.  95 

Machinery  Hall  on  the  other,  and  decided  that 
would  do  for  the  first  day. 

They  found  a  car  with  plenty  of  seats,  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin  felt  herself  rested  for  the  walk  home  from 
the  avenue. 

The  next  day  they  started  early,  and  were  among 
the  first  to  reach  the  grounds. 

They  proposed  to  take  the  tour  of  the  grounds  in 
one  of  the  railroad  cars.  In  this  way  they  could 
get  an  idea  of  the  whole.  They  joined  a  crowd  of 
people  rushing  to  one  of  the  platforms  to  secure 
seats  as  a  train  came  along.  Mrs.  Peterkin  was 
near  being  left  behind,  it  was  so  hard  for  her  to 
decide  which  seat  to  take ;  and  the  hurry  was  so 
great,  the  rest  of  the  family,  thinking  she  was  going 
to  be  left,  all  got  out  again  and  were  obliged  to 
hustle  in  the  minute  the  train  was  starting. 

The  little  boys  were  anxious  to  get  out  at  the  first 
stopping-place,  but  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  preferred 
to  make  the  whole  tour  and  see  everything  first.  In 
and  out  they  went  among  the  various  buildings. 
Mrs.  Peterkin  said  she  would  ask  nothing  better 
than  to  spend  the  day  in  this  way.  Agamemnon 
had  a  map,  and  tried  to  point  out  the  several  build 
ings  as  they  came  to  them,  but  it  was  difficult  to 
discover  the  numbers  attached  to  them  in  the  map. 
Meanwhile  Solomon  John  studied  the  different  colors 


96  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

of  the  flags.  After  some  time  Elizabeth  Eliza 
said : 

"  I  did  not  know  they  had  so  many  of  these 
'  Woman's  Pavilions.' " 

"I  think  they  must  have  one  for  each  State," 
said  Mr.  Petcrkin. 

"It  is  astonishing  how  much  they  are  alike," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

""With  so  many  buildings,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin, 
"you  could  not  expect  to  have  them  all  differ 
ent." 

"Still,"  said  Agamemnon,  "I  should  not  think 
they  would  have  so  many  of  these  statues  of  horses 
with  wings." 

"They are  very  fine,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin.  "No 
wonder  they  repeat  them  so  often." 

"  They  come  in  pairs,"  said  Solomon  John. 

' '  We  have  seen  them  five  times.  I  counted,"  said 
one  of  the  little  bo}Ts. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  started:  "We  must  have  made 
the  tour  at  least  five  tunes !  I  have  seen  five 
Woman's  Pavilions ! " 

"This  is  the  very  place  where  we  got  in,"  said 
Solomon  John. 

The  whole  family  made  a  rush  to  get  out,  for  they 
had  just  reached  a  platform,  and  the  time  for  stop 
ping  was  very  short.  Mrs.  Peterkin  stooped  to 


THE  ^ETEUKINS   AT  THE   CENTENNIAL.  97 

extricate  her  camp-stool,  which  she  bad  put  under 
the  seat,  and  getting  it  out  with  trouble,  she  looked 
up  to  find  that  the  car  was  taking  her  on,  and  all  the 
family  behind  on  the  platform !  She  wished  to  get 
out,  but  was  held  back  by  the  other  passengers,  who 
declared  she  would  break  her  neck  if  she  jumped 
from  the  car  ia  motion. 

But  at  the  next  stopping-place  she  felt  so  flustered 
she  hardly  knew  what  to  do,  so  she  kept  on  and  on 
till  she  felt  she  must  somehow  make  up  her  mind  to 
leave  that  car,  and  with  a  desperate  resolution  she 
stepped  out  on  the  platform.  She  found  herself  in  a 
deserted  part  of  the  grounds,  a  few  gentlemen  only 
getting  out  to  go  to  the  Brewers'  Hall.  Though 
there  was  a  crowd  everywhere  else,  it  seemed  very 
solitary  here.  Mrs.  Peterkin  went  round  and  round 
the  Brewers'  Hall,  uncertain  where  to  go.  At  last  a 
gentleman  noticed  her,  and  asked  if  he  could  help 
her.  When  she  told  her  case,  he  asked  if  her  family 
had  appointed  any  place  of  meeting  in  case  of  acci 
dent.  Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  she  remembered  their 
talking  of  the  Main  Building  as  a  rendezvous.  The 
gentleman  advised  her  taking  the  train  directly  for 
the  Main  Building.  She  shook  her  head ;  she  had 
already  spent  the  morning  in  the  cars.  The  gentle 
man  smiled,  but  asked  her  to  go  on  with  him  and  he 
would  show  her  where  to  get  out. 


98  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  joined  him  gratefully,  and  they 
took  a  train  at  a  neighboring  platform.  But  they 
had  not  gone  very  far,  and  were  making  another 
stop,  when  Mrs.  Peterkin  gave  a  scream !  There 
was  her  familj',  standing  in  a  row,  ready  to  receive 
her !  She  was  so  agitated  she  could  hardly  get  out, 
and  almost  fainted  with  delight  at  the  meeting. 

It  appeared  that  a  ticket-seller  on  the  platform 
had  advised  the  family  to  take  a  train  back,  and 
wait  on  some  platform  till  they  should  .see  their 
mother  passing.  Mrs.  Peterkin  shuddered  to  think 
how  she  might  have  been  walking  round  and  round 
the  Brewers'  Hall  all  day,  if  it  had  not  been  for 
meeting  the  kindly  gentleman. 

The  next  thing  was  to  get  something  to  eat, 
though  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  too  agitated  to  think  of  it ; 
they  went  to  the  Vienna  Bakery,  not  far  away,  and 
found  an  immense  crowd.  Only  one  or  two  places 
could  be  obtained  in  the  veranda  outside,  and  the 
family  took  turns  in  sitting.  Then  it  was  that  Mrs. 
Peterkin  found  she  had  left  her  camp-stool  ID  the 
car !  The  family  in  general  did  not  regret  it,  for  it 
was  heavy  and  inconvenient  to  carry,  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin  confessed  she  found  it  difficult  to  use  it,  as 
it  always  tumbled  over  when  she  went  to  sit  down. 
It  was  one  of  the  three-legged  ones. 

It  seemed  now  time  to  go  home,  but  Agamem- 


THE   PETERKINS   AT  THE   CENTENNIAL .  99 

non,  who  had  been  studying  the  map,  proposed  they 
should  pass  through  the  Mam  Building  on  their  way 
out,  for  a  glimpse  of  it,  as  they  had  not  yet  been 
inside  one  of  the  buildings,  and  it  was  their  second 
day. 

They  hastened  on  with  this  plan,  and  went  in  at 
the  grand  middle  entrance.  And  here  they  felt  as  if 
they  were  really  at  the  Exhibition.  The  high  pillars, 
the  crowded  aisles,  filled  them  with  wonder. 

A  seat  was  found  for  Mrs.  Peterkin  near  the  very 
middle.  Mr.  Peterkin,  Agamemnon,  Solomon  John, 
and  Elizabeth  Eliza  ventured  to  leave  her  for  a 
moment  while  they  looked  at  the  famous  Elkiugton 
display,  and  the  little  boys  stood  at  her  side  finish 
ing  some  popped-corn  balls.  Suddenly  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  saw  the  rest  disappear  from  her  sight.  She  sent 
the  little  boys  to  call  them  back.  She  directly  left 
her  seat  to  follow,  but  she  lost  sight  of  the  little 
boys.  There  was  a  seething  crowd  going  up  and 
down.  She  tried  to  return  to  her  seat,  but  could  not 
find  it.  Her  head  was  bewildered.  She  was  sure 
she  must  have  turned  the  wrong  way.  It  all  looked 
so  much  alike,  stairwaj's  going  up  to  the  dome  at 
each  corner,  and  no  signs  of  her  family.  The  strains 
arose  from  the  immense  organ  of  "Home,  Sweet 
Home."  She  felt  that  now  she  should  never  see 
that  home  again !  She  sat  down,  she  got  up  again ! 


100  THE  PETERKIN  TAPERS. 

A  kindly  lady  asked  if  she  could  help  her,  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin  was  forced  to  explain,  for  the  second  time 
that  da}',  that  she  had  lost  her  family !  The  lady 
turned  to  one  of  the  guards,  who  asked  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  man}'  questions.  She  described  Elizabeth  Eliza 
with  a  brown  dress  and  cock's  feather  in  her  hat  and 
note-book  in  her  hand.  The  guard  pointed  out  seven 
ladies  in  sight,  wearing  brown  dresses,  hats  with 
cock's  feathers,  and  note-books  in  their  hands, — 
neither  of  them  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

He  advised  Mrs.  Peterkin  to  wait  awhile  in  the 
same  place  and  then  go  home,  as  it  was  growing 
late.  But  how  could  she  go  ?  She  did  not  have  the 
address  of  her  boarding-place,  and  never  could  re 
member  those  numbered  streets.  It  might  be  one 
number  just  as  well  as  another.  The  policeman 
asked  where  she  came  from?  If  anybody  at  home 
knew  her  address?  Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  the 
Brornwicks  knew ;  the  Bromwicks  planned  coming 
to  the  same  place.  He  then  told  Mrs.  Peterkin  not 
to  stir  from  her  seat  till  he  returned.  She  ventured 
scarcely  to  look  to  the  right  or  the  left.  Indeed, 
she  was  almost  sure  the  eye  of  another  policeman 
was  upon  her.  How  she  hoped  the  Bromwicks 
would  never  know  her  position !  It  seemed  an  age 
that  the  policeman  was  gone,  yet  she  was  surprised 
when  he  returned  with  her  address,  for  which  he  had 


THE  PETERKINS  AT  THE  CENTENNIAL.     101 

telegraphed  to  the  Bromwicks.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
looked  at  him  in  dumb  surprise,  but  he  hurried  her 
toward  the  main  exit,  promising  to  show  her  to  the 
right  cars.  Slowly  and  sadl}'  she  followed  to  the  door, 
when  what  was  her  astonishment  to  find,  across  the 
door- way  in  a  straight  row,  her  family  awaiting  her ! 

They  too  were  under  the  care  of  a  friendly  police 
man,  who  had  advised  them  to  await  their  mother 
there.  Eager  to  leave,  they  all  hurried  awa}~,  passed 
the  difficult  turnstile,  and  hastened  to  the  cars. 

"Let  us  get  home!  Let  us  get  home!"  ex 
claimed  Mrs.  Peterkin,  unwilling  to  listen  to  any 
explanations. 

A  crowd  was  pursuing  the  Lancaster  Avenue  car, 
and  the  family  joined  in  the  rush.  Mr.  Peterkin 
succeeded  in  lifting  in  Mrs  Peterkin,  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
and  the  little  bo}~s  ;  the  rest  had  to  stand  all  the  way 
on  the  edges  of  the  cars. 

Mrs.  Petcrkm  reached  the  boarding-place  in  hys 
terics.  She  passed  a  restless  night,  disturbed  by 
dreams  of  walking  round  and  round  the  Brewers' 
Hall,  of  Mr.  Peterkin  falling  from  the  steps  of  the 
cars  and  being  run  over,  of  policemen  watching  her, 
and  she  declared  they  must  go  home,  she  could  not 
stay  a  day  longer. 

But  all  the  family  exclaimed  against  this.  They 
had  seen  nothing  as  yet. 


102  THE  PETERKIX  PAPERS. 

They  decided  to  stay,  and  transfer  their  quarters 
the  next  night  to  one  of  the  hotels  bjr  the  grounds. 
According  to  the  advice  of  one  of  their  fellow-board 
ers,  after  depositing  and  checking  their  baggage  at 
the  House  of  Public  Comfort,  they  went  to  the 
Massachusetts  Building.  Mrs:  Peterkin  was  en 
chanted  with  the  parlor  and  its  cheery  wood  fire,  and 
declared  she  would  prefer  to  spend  the  day  there, 
instead  of  going  into  the  crowded  buildings.  She 
had  some  rolls  and  sandwiches  that  she  had  brought 
from  the  boarding-house  that  would  serve  for  her 
luncheon,  and  it  was  agreed  she  should  be  left  there 
for  the  day,  and  that  the  family  would  return  for  her 
at  half-past  four,  in  time  for  a  little  walk  afterward 
in  the  grounds. 

The  family  left  her,  relieved  to  think  of  her  com 
fort.  The  heart  of  Mr.  Peterkin  swelled  as  he 
thought  she  was  under  the  protection  of  the  shield 
of  Massachusetts. 

They  decided  to  separate.  Mr.  Peterkin  and 
Agamemnon  would  take  the  little  boys  to  the  Agri 
cultural  Building,  and  to  the  American  Restaurant 
for  lunch,  while  Elizabeth  Eliza  and  Solomon  John 
planned  the  Art  Gallery  and  Les  Trofs  Freres 
Proven$aux;  for  Elizabeth  Eliza  had  been  studj'ing 
the  French  grammar,  and  wanted  to  try  talking  a 
little  French.  They  had  heard  of  all  these  places 


THE  PETERKINS  AT  THE  CENTENNIAL.     103 


from  their  fellow-boarders.  Thej^  were  to  meet  in 
the  Main  Building,  in  front  of  Egypt,  at  half-past 
three. 

They  did  all  assemble  there,  to  their  surprise,  but 
not  until  much  after  that  hour.  Mr.  Peterkin  and 
his  party  were  wild  with  enthusiasm.  They  had 
been  through  Agricultural  Hall,  and  had  seen  '  '  Old 
Abe,"  looking  so  much  like  a  stuffed  e.agle,  that  they 
were  astonished  when  he  moved  his  head.  The  little 
boys  had  bought  chocolates  and  candies  at  every 
refreshment  stand,  and  had  eaten  the  bread  which 
they  had  seen  made  by  the  baker  of  the  queen,  aud 
apples  cored  by  the  apple-corer,  and  had  bought 
little  tin  pails  of  the  leaf-lard  man,  and  had  lunched 
at  the  banque  ting-hall  of  the  American  Restaurant, 
and  were  now  eager  to  try  the  restaurants  in  the 
Main  Building. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  and  Solomon  John  had  not  so 
much  to  report.  They  were  so  crushed  in  the  Art 
Gallery  by  the  mass  of  people,  that  Elizabeth  Eliza 
could  not  even  lift  her  note-book,  or  examine 
her  catalogue.  She  believed  they  had  been  into 
every  room  in  the  Art  Gallery  and  in  the  Annex, 
but  she  could  only  look  at  the  upper  pictures,  and 
could  not  stop  at  any.  She  was  sure  there  must  be 
more  United  States  pictures  than  from  any  other 
country.  The  only  work  of  art  which  she  could  re- 


104  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

member  enough  to  describe  was  the  large  bust  of 
Washington,  sitting  on  the  eagle.  They  had  found 
a  seat  near  this,  where  they  could  examine  it  closely, 
and  wondered  why  the  eagle  was  not  crushed. 

Both  Solomon  John  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  agreed 
with  the  little  boys  that  they  would  like  another 
lunch,  for  their  expedition  to  the  Trois  Freres  was 
not  satisfactory,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  fancied  their 
waiter  could  hardly  have  been  a  Frenchman,  as  he 
did  not  understand  her  French. 

The  little  boys  were  now  impatient  for  the  restau 
rant,  and  they  found  scats  in  one  of  the  galleries, 
where  it  was  so  pleasant  looking  down  upon  the 
crowd  below,  that  Mr.  Peterkiu  decided  to  go  and 
bring  Mrs.  Peterkin  to  join  them,  while  Elizabeth 
Eliza  and  Solomon  John- were  to  order  their  oysters. 
He  looked  at  his  watch,  and  found,  to  his  horror, 
it  was  now  five  o'clock !  And  he  hastened  away. 
He  did  not  seem  to  be  gone  long,  for  he  came  back 
breathless,  to  say  that  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  no  longer 
in  the  parlor  of  the  Massachusetts  Building  ! 

Mrs.  Peterkin,  meanwhile,  had  enjoyed  a  comfor 
table  nap  in  the  quiet  room,  had  walked  about  to 
look  at  the  pictures,  had  eaten  her  luncheon,  and 
when  the  chimes  rung  twelve,  she  was  surprised  to 
find  the  day  was  not  farther  gone.  Still,  she  sat 
awhile,  and  looked  out  of  the  window  ;  but  she  grew 


THE  PETERKINS  AT  THE  CENTENNIAL.     105 

weary  and  restless,  and  when  a  party  set  forth  from 
the  room  to  go  to  the  Main  Building,  she  decided  to 
join  them. 

They  made  a  little  tour  first  by  St.  George's  Hill, 
the  Japanese  Dwelling,  the  Canada  Log-house,  and 
at  last  entered  the  Main  Building,  and  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  found  herself  in  Italy.  The  party  whom  she 
had  joined  took  her  to  see  the  Norwegian  groups, 
where  they  left  her  to  meet  other  of  their  friends. 

She  staj-ed  awhile  in  Norway  and  Sweden,  then 
went  on  to  China.  Here  everything  was  so  strange 
that  she  sank 'into  a  seat  bewildered.  She  felt  she 
was  in  the  midst  of  a  weird  dream, —  strange  figures 
on  screens  and  vases,  a  mandarin  nodding  at  her, 
idols  glaring  at  her.  She  wished  herself  back  in  the 
safe  parlor ;  she  was  sorry  she  ever  had  left  it. 

Ah !  did  she  but  know  that  at  that  moment  the 
little  boys  were  trying  some  ice-cream  soda  at  a 
stand  near  by!  Wearily  she  rose  again  and  in 
quired  the  time,  to  find  it  was  after  half-past  four! 
In  her  agitation,  she  went  out  in  front  of  the  build 
ing,  and  took  the  wrong  direction.  A  kindly  lady 
set  her  right  again,  but  it  was  half-past  five  when 
she  reached  the  shelter  of  the  Massachusetts  Build 
ing,  going  up  the  steps  at  the  very  moment  Mr. 
Peterkin  was  announcing  the  terrible  fact  of  her 
disappearance  to  the  astounded  famity. 


106  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  went  in,  to  find  every  one  gather 
ing  bags  and  parcels,  preparing  to  leave.  Where 
should  she  go?  She  rushed  madly  towards  the 
door,  and  there  stood  the  lady  from  Philadelphia, 
who  directly  declared  that  she  would  take  Mrs. 
Peterkin  home  with  her. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  hardly  knew  how  to  leave  her 
family  behind  in  this  uncertainty,  but  she  followed 
mechanically  '  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  and  her 
party.  As  they  went  down  the  steps,  they  saw  in 
front  of  them  Mr.  Peterkin  and  all  the  family  in  a 
row.  Again  they  had  consulted  a  policeman,  who 
advised  them  to  visit  the  Massachusetts  Room  once 
more. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  spent  the  next  day  quietty  with  the 
lady  from  Philadelphia.  The  rest  of  the  family 
went  to  the  Exhibition.  The}-  went  through  Machin 
ery  Hall,  stopping,  as  the  day  before,  at  every 
confectionery  stand  and  refreshment  room,  wasting 
some  time  in  the  middle  of  the  day,  because  Aga 
memnon  preferred  seeing  the  Corliss  engine  stop, 
and  Solomon  John  wanted  to  wait  and  see  it  set 
going.  But  they  had  seen  a  great  deal,  and,  to 
please  the  little  boys,  they  had  even  visited  the  Fat 
Woman  outside  the  grounds. 

The  next  day,  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  and  her 
daughters  assisted  the  party  to  the  station.  It  was 


THE    PETERKINS    AT   THE    CENTENNIAL.  107 

difficult  for  all  to  get  through  the  crowd  as  a  family, 
but  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  did  cliug  together,  and 
met  Elizabeth  Eliza,  the  little  bo}rs,  Solomon  John, 
and  Agamemnon  outside  the  barrier. 

The  last  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  saw  of  them, 
the  family  were  standing  in  a  row,  ready  to  enter  the 
waiting  train. 


108  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 


MRS.  PETERKIN'S  TEA-PARTY. 


IT  was  important  to  have  a  tea-party,  as  they  had 
all  been  invited  by  everybody, — the  Bromwicks, 
the  Tremletts,  and  the  Gibbonses.  It  would  be  such 
a  good  chance  to  pay  off  some  of  their  old  debts, 
now  that  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  was  back  again, 
and  her  two  daughters,  who  would  be  sure  to  make 
it  all  go  off  well. 

But  as  soon  as  they  began  to  make  out  the  list, 
they  saw  there  were  too  many  to  have  at  once,  for 
there  were  but  twelve  cups  and  saucers  in  the  best 
set. 

"There  are  seven  of  MS,  to  begin  with,"  said  Mr. 
Peterkin. 

"  "We  need  not  all  drink  tea,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"I  never  do,"  said  Solomon  John.  The  little 
boys  never  did. 

"And  we  could  have  coffee,  too,"  suggested  Eliz 
abeth  Eliza. 

"  That  would  take  as  many  cups,"  objected  Aga 
memnon. 


MRS.  PETERKIN'S  TEA-PARTY.  109 

"  We  could  use  the  every-day  set  for  the  coffee," 
answered  Elizabeth  Eliza;  "they  are  the  right 
shape.  Besides,"  she  went  on,  "  the}'  would  not  all 
come.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Bromwick,  for  instance  ;  they 
never  go  out." 

"There  are  but  six  cups  in  the  every-day  set," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

The  little  boys  said  there  were  plenty  of  saucers  ; 
and  Mr.  Peterkin  agreed  with  Elizabeth  Eliza  that 
all  would  not  come.  Old  Mr.  Jeffers  never  went 
out. 

"There  are  three  of  the  Tremletts,"  said  Eliza 
beth  Eliza  ;  "  they  never  go  out  together.  One  of 
them,  if  not  two,  will  be  sure  to  have  the  headache. 
Ann  Maria  Bromwick  would  come,  and  the  three 
Gibbons  boys,  and  their  sister  Juliana ;  but  the 
other  sisters  are  out  West,  and  there  is  but  one 
Osborne." 

It  really  did  seem  safe  to  ask  "everybody." 
They  would  be  sorry,  after  it  was  over,  that  they 
had  not  asked  more. 

"We  have  the  cow,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  "so 
there  will  be  as  much  cream  and  milk  as  we  shall 
need." 

"And  our  own  pig,"  said  Agamemnon.  "lam 
glad  we  had  it  salted ;  so  we  can  have  plenty  of 
sandwiches." 


110  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

"I  will  buy  a  chest  of  tea,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Peter- 
kin.  "I  have  been  thinking  of  a  chest  for  some 
time." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  a  whole  chest  would  not  be 
needed :  it  was  as  well  to  buy  the  tea  and  coffee  by 
the  pound.  But  Mr.  Peterkin  determined  on  a 
chest  of  tea  and  a  bag  of  coffee. 

So  they  decided  to  give  the  invitations  to  all.  It 
might  be  a  stormy  evening,  and  some  would  be 
prevented. 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  and  her  daughters 
accepted. 

And  it  turned  out  a  fair  day,  and  more  came  than 
were  expected.  Ann  Maria  Bromwick  had  a  friend 
staying  with  her,  and  brought  her  over,  for  the 
Bromwicks  were  opposite  neighbors.  And  the 
Tremletts  had  a  niece,  and  Mary  Osborne  an  aunt, 
that  the}r  took  the  liberty  .to  bring. 

The  little  boys  were  at  the  door',  to  show  in  the 
guests,  and  as  each  set  came  to  the  front  gate,  they 
ran  back  to  tell  their  mother  that  more  were  coming. 
Mrs.  Peterkin  had  grown  dizzy  with  counting  those 
who  had  come,  and  trying  to  calculate  how  many 
were  to  come,  and  wondering  why  there  were  always 
more  and  never  less,  and  whether  the  cups  would  go 
round. 

The   three   Tremletts  all  came,  with  their  niece. 


MRS.  PETERKIN'S  TEA-PARTY.  Ill 

They  all  had  had  their  headaches  the  day  before, 
and  were  having  that  banged  feeling  you  always 
have  after  a  headache ;  so  they  all  sat  at  the  same 
side  of  the  room  on  the  long  sofa. 

All  the  Jefferses  came,  though  they  had  sent  un 
certain  answers.  Old  Mr.  Jetfers  had  to  be  helped 
in  with  his  cane,  by  Mr.  Peterkin. 

The  Gibbons  boys  came,  and  would  stand  just 
outside  the  parlor  door.  And  Juliana  appeared 
afterward,  with  the  two  other  sisters,  unexpectedly 
home  from  the  West. 

"Got  home  this  morning!"  they  said.  "And 
so  glad  to  be  in  tune  to  see  everybody, —  a  little 
tired,  to  be  sure,  after  forty-eight  hours  in  a  sleep 
ing-car  ! " 

"Forty-eight!"  repeated  Mrs.  Peterkin;  and 
wondered  if  there  were  forty-eight  people,  and 
why  they  were  all  so  glad  to  come,  and  whether 
all  could  sit  down. 

Old  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Bromwick  came.  They  thought 
it  would  not  be  neighborly  to  stay  away.  They 
insisted  on  getting  into  the  most  uncomfortable 
seats. 

Yet  there  seemed  to  be  seats  enough  while  the 
Gibbons  boys  preferred  to  stand.  But  they  never 
could  sit  round  a  tea-table.  Elizabeth  Eliza  had 
thought  they  all  might  have  room  at  the  table,  and 


112  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Solomon  John  and  the  little  boys  could  help  in  the 
waiting. 

It  was  a  great  moment  when  the  lady  from  Phila 
delphia  arrived  with  her  daughters.  Mr.  Peterkin 
was  talking  to  Mr.  Bromwick,  who  was  a  little  deaf. 
The  Gibbons  boys  retreated  a  little  farther  behind 
the  parlor  door.  Mrs.  Peterkin  hastened  forward 
to  shake  hands  with  the  lady  from  Philadelphia, 
saying : 

"Four  Gibbons  girls  and  Mary  Osborne's  aunt, 
—  that  makes  nineteen  ;  and  now " 

It  made  no  difference  what  she  said ;  for  there 
was  such  a  murmuring  of  talk,  that  any  words 
suited.  And  the  lad}*  from  Philadelphia  wanted 
to  be  introduced  to  the  Bromwicks. 

It  was  delightful  for  the  little  boys.  They  came 
to  Elizabeth  Eliza,  and  asked : 

"Can't  we  go  and  ask  more?  Can't  we  fetch 
the  Larkins  ?  " 

"Oh  deal-,  no!"  answered  Elizabeth  Eliza.  "I 
can't  even  count  them." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  found  time  to  meet  Elizabeth  Eliza 
in  the  side  entr}r,  to  ask  if  there  were  going  to  be 
cups  enough. 

' '  I  have  set  Agamemnon  in  the  front  entry  to 
count,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza,  putting  her  hand  to 
her  head. 


MRS.  PETERKIN'S  TEA-PARTY.  113 

The  little  boys  came  to  say  that  the  Maberlys 
were  coming. 

"The  Maberlys!"  exclaimed  Elizabeth  Eliza. 
"  I  never  asked  them." 

"It  is  your  father's  doing,"  cried  Mrs.  Peterkin'. 
"  I  do  believe  he  asked  everj-body  he  saw  ! "  And 
she  hurried  back  to  her  guests. 

' '  What  if  father  really  has  asked  everybody  ? " 
Elizabeth  Eliza  said  to  herself,  pressing  her  head 
again  with  her  hand. 

There  was  the  cow  and  the  pig.  But  if  they  all  took 
tea  or  coffee,  or  both,  the  cups  could  not  go  round. 

Agamemnon  returned  in  the  midst  of  her  agony. 

He  had  not  been  able  to  count  the  guests,  they 
moved  about  so,  they  talked  so ;  and  it  would  not 
look  well  to  appear  to  count. 

"  What  shall  we  do?"  exclaimed  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

' '  AVe  are  not  a  family  for  an  emergency,"  said 
Agamemnon. 

' l  What  do  you  suppose  they  did  in  Philadelphia  at 
the  Exhibition,  when  there  were  more  people  than 
cups  and  saucers  ?  "  asked  Elizabeth  Eliza.  ' '  Could 
not  you  go  and  inquire?  I  know  the  lady  from 
Philadelphia  is  talking  about  the  Exhibition,  and 
telling  how  she  stayed  at  home  to  receive  friends. 
And  they  must  have  had  trouble  there  !  Could  not 
you  go  in  and  ask,  just  as  if  you  wanted  to  know  ?  " 


114  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Agamemnon  looked  into  the  room,  but  there  were 
too  many  talking  with  the  lady  from  Philadelphia. 

"  If  we  could  only  look  into  some  book,"  he  said, 
"  the  encyclopaedia  or  the  dictionar}7, — they  are  such 
a  help  sometimes  !  " 

At  this  moment  he  thought  of  his  "  Great  Tri 
umphs  of  Great  Men,"  that  he  was  reading  just  now. 
He  had  not  reached  the  lives  of  the  Stcphensons, 
or  any  of  the  men  of  modern  times.  He  might 
skip  over  to  them, — he  knew  they  were  men  for 
emergencies. 

He  ran  up  to  his  room,  and  met  Solomon  John 
coming  down  with  chairs. 

"That  is  a  good  thought,"  said  Agamemnon. 
"  I  will  bring  down  more  up-stairs  chairs." 

"  No,"  said  Solomon  John,  "  here  are  all  that  can 
come  down ;  the  rest  of  the  bedroom  chairs  match 
bureaus,  and  they  never  will  do  !  " 

Agamemnon  kept  on  to  his  own  room,  to  consult 
his  books.  If  only  he  could  invent  something  on 
the  spur  of  the  moment, — a  set  of  bedroom  furni 
ture,  that  iii  an  emergenc}*  could  be  turned  into 
parlor  chairs  !  It  seemed  an  idea  ;  and  he  sat  him 
self  down  to  his  table  and  pencils,  when  he  was 
interrupted  by  the  little  boj's,  who  came  to  tell  him 
that  Elizabeth  Eliza  wanted  him. 

The  little  boys  had  been  bus}'  thinking.     They 


MRS.  PETERKIN'S  TEA-PARTY.  115 

proposed  that  the  tea-table,  with  all  the  things  on, 
should  be  pushed  into  the  front  room,  where  the 
company  were ;  and  those  could  take  cups  who 
could  find  cups. 

But  Elizabeth  Eliza  feared  it  would  not  be  safe  to 
push  so  large  a  table ;  it  might  upset,  and  break 
what  china  they  had. 

Agamemnon  came  down  to  find  her  pouring  out 
tea,  in  the  back  room.  She  called  to  him : 

"Agamemnon,  you  must  bring  Mary  Osborne  to 
help,  and  perhaps  one  of  the  Gibbons  boys  would 
carry  round  some  of  the  cups." 

And  so  she  began  to  pour  out  and  to  send  round 
the  sandwiches,  and  the  tea,  and  the  coffee.  Let 
things  go  as  far  as  they  would  ! 

The  little  boys  took  the  sugar  and  cream. 

"As  soon  as  they  have  done  drinking,  bring  back 
the  cups  and  saucers  to  be  washed,"  she  said  to  the 
Gibbons  boys  and  the  little  boj's. 

This  was  an  idea  of  Mary  Osborne's. 

But  what  was  their  surprise,  that  the  more  they 
poured  out,  the  more  cups  they  seemed  to  have ! 
Elizabeth  Eliza  took  the  coffee,  and  Mary  Osborne 
the  tea.  Amanda  brought  fresh  cups  from  the 
kitchen. 

"I  can't  understand  it,"  Elizabeth  EUza  said  to 
Amanda.  "Do  they  come  back  to  you,  round 


116  THE   PETERKIX   PAPERS. 

through  the  piazza?  Surely  there  are  more  cups 
than  there  were  ?  " 

Her  surprise  was  greater  \vhen  some  of  them 
proved  to  be  coffee-cups  that  matched  the  set !  And 
they  never  had  had  coffee-cups. 

Solomon  John  came  in  at  this  moment,  breathless 
with  triumph. 

"Solomon  John!"  Elizabeth  Eliza  exclaimed; 
"  I  cannot  understand  the  cups ! " 

"It  is  my  doing,"  said  Solomon  John,  with  an 
elevated  air.  ' '  I  went  to  the  lady  from  Philadel 
phia,  in  the  midst  of  her  talk.  '  What  do  you  do 
in  Philadelphia,  when  you  haven't  enough  cups?' 
'  Borrow  of  my  neighbors,'  she  answered,  as  quick 
as  she  could." 

"  She  must  have  guessed,"  interrupted  Elizabeth 
Eliza. 

"That  may  be,"  said  Solomon  John.  "But  I 
whispered  to  Ann  Maria  Bromwick,  —  she  was 
standing  by, —  and  she  took  me  straight  over  into 
their  closet,  and  old  Mr.  Bromwick  bought  this 
set  just  where  we  bought  ours.  And  they  had  a 
coffee-set,  too " 

"  You  mean  where  our  father  and  mother  bought 
them.  We  were  not  born,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  It  is  all  the  same,"  said  Solomon  John.  "  They 
match  exactly." 


MRS.  PETERKIN'S  TEA-PARTY.  117 

So  they  did,  and  more  aiid  more  came  iii. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  exclaimed : 

' '  And  Agamemnon  says  we  are  not  a  family  for 
emergencies ! " 

"Ann  Maria  was  very  good  about  it,"  said  Solo 
mon  John  ;  "  and  quick,  too.  And  old  Mrs.  Brom- 
wick  has  kept  all  her  set  of  two  dozen  coffee  and 
tea  cups ! " 

Elizabeth  Eliza  was  ready  to  faint  with  delight 
and  relief.  She  told  the  Gibbons  boys,  by  mis 
take,  instead  of  Agamemnon,  and  the  little  boys. 
She  almost  let  fall  the  cups  and  saucers  she  took 
in  her  hand. 

' '  No  trouble  now !  " 

She  thought  of  the  cow,  and  she  thought  of  the 
pig,  and  she  poured  on. 

No  trouble,  except  about  the  chairs.  She  looked 
into  the  room  —  all  seemed  to  be  sitting  down,  even 
her  mother.  No,  her  father  was  standing,  talking 
to  Mr.  Jeffcrs.  But  he  was  drinking  coffee,  and  the 
Gibbons  bo}~s  were  handing  things  around. 

The  daughters  of  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  were 
sitting  on  shawls  on  the  edge  of  the  window  that 
opened  upon  the  piazza.  It  was  a  soft,  warm  even 
ing,  and  some  of  the  young  people  were  on  the 
piazza.  Everybodj^  was  talking  and  laughing,  ex 
cept  those  who  were  listening. 


118  TUB   PETEIIKIN    PAPERS. 

Mr.  Peterkin  broke  away,  to  bring  back  his  cup 
and  another  for  more  coffee. 

"It's  a  great  success,  Elizabeth  Eliza,"  he  -whis 
pered.  "The  coffee  is  admirable,  and  plenty  of 
cups.  We  asked  none  too  man}'.  I  should  not 
mind  having  a  tea-part}'  every  week." 

Elizabeth  Eliza  sighed  with  relief  as  she  filled  his 
cup.  It  was  going  off  -well.  There  were  cups 
enough,  but  she  was  not  sure  she  could  live  over 
another  such  hour  of  anxiet}' ;  and  what  was  to 
be  done  after  tea  ? 


THE  PETERKINS  TOO  LATE  FOR  TIIE  EXHIBITION.     119 


THE  FETERKINS  TOO  LATE  FOR  THE 
EXHIBITION. 


Dramatis  Personal.  —  AMANDA  (FRIEND  OF  ELIZABETH  ELIZA), 
AMANDA'S  MOTHER,  GIRLS  OF  THE  GRADUATING  CLASS,  MRS. 
PETEKKIN,  ELIZABETH  ELIZA. 

Amanda,  [coming  in  with  a  few  graduates]. 
Mother,  the  exhibition  is  over,  and  I  have  brought 
the  whole  class  home  to  the  collation. 

Mother.  The  whole  class  !  But  I  only  expected 
a  few. 

Amanda.  The  rest  are  coming.  I  brought  Julie, 
and  Clara,  and  Sophie  with  me.  [A  voice  is  heard.'] 
Here  are  the  rest. 

Mother.  Why,  no.  It  is  Mrs.  Peterkin  and 
Elizabeth  Eliza ! 

Amanda.  Too  late  for  the  exhibition.  Such  a 
shame !  But  in  tune  for  the  collation. 

Mother  [to  herself].  If  the  ice-cream  will  go 
round. 

Amanda.  But  what  made  you  so  late?  Did  yon 
miss  the  train  ?  This  is  Elizabeth  Eliza,  girls  — you. 


120  THE  PETEliKIN   PAPERS. 

have  heard  me  speak  of  her.  What  a  pity  you  were 
too  late ! 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  We  tried  to  come;  we  did  our 
best. 

Mother.  Did  you  miss  the  train?  Didn't  you 
get  my  postal-card  ? 

J//V*.  Peterkin.  We  had  nothing  to  do  with  the 
train. 

Amanda.     You  don't  mean  you  walked? 

Mrs.  Peterkin.     O  no,  indeed  ! 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  We  came  in  a  horse  and  carry 
all. 

Julia.  I  always  wondered  how  anybody  could 
come  in  a  horse  ! 

Amanda.  You  are  too  foolish,  Julie.  The}-  came 
in  the  carryall  part.  But  didn't  you  start  in  time? 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  It  all  comes  from  the  carryall 
being  so  hard  to  turn.  I  told  Mr.  Peterkin  .we 
should  get  into  trouble  with  one  of  those  cariyalls 
that  don't  turn  easy. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  They  turn  easy  enough  in  the 
stable,  so  3*011  can't  tell. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  Yes ;  we  started  with  the  little 
boys  and  Solomon  John  on  the  back  seat,  and 
Elizabeth  Eliza  on  the  front.  She  was  to  drive,  and 
I  was  to  see  to  the  driving.  But  the  horse  was  not 
faced  toward  Boston. 


THE  PETERKINS  TOO  LATE  FOR  THE  EXHIBITION.     121 

Mother.  And  you  tipped  over  in  turning  round  ! 
Oh,  what  an  accident  1 

Amanda.  And  the  little  boys  —  where  are  they  ? 
Are  they  killed? 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  The  little  boys  are  all  safe.  We 
left  them  at  the  Pringles',  with  Solomon  John. 

Mother.    But  what  did  happen  ? 

Mrs,  Peterkin.     We  started  the  wrong  way. 

Mother.    You  lost  your  way,  after  all  ? 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  No ;  we  knew  the  way  well 
enough. 

Amanda.     It's  as  plain  as  a  pike-staff! 

Mrs.  PeterJcin.  No ;  we  had  the  horse  faced  in 
the  wrong  direction  ;  toward  Providence. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  And  mother  was  afraid  to  have 
me  turn,  and  we  kept  on  and  on  till  we  should  reach 
a  wide  place. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  I  thought  we  should  come  to  a 
road  that  would  veer  off  to  the  right  or  left,  and 
bring  us  back  to  the  right  direction. 

Mother.  Could  not  you  all  get  out  and  turn  the 
thing  round  ? 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  Why,  no ;  if  it  had  broken  down 
we  should  not  have  been  in  anything,  and  could  not 
have  gone  anywhere. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  Yes,  I  have  always  heard  it  was 
best  to  stay  in  the  carriage,  whatever  happens. 


122  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

Julio,.    But  nothing  seemed  to  happen. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  O  yes ;  we  met  one  man  after 
another,  and  we  asked  the  way  to  Boston. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  And  all  the}*  would  say  was, 
"  Turn  right  round — you.  are  on  the  road  to  Provi 
dence." 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  As  if  we  could  turn  right  round ! 
That  was  just  what  we  couldn't. 

Mother.  You  don't  mean  you  kept  on  all  the  way 
to  Providence  ? 

ElizabetJi  Eliza.  O  dear,  no !  We  kept  on  and 
on,  till  we  met  a  man  with  a  black  hand-bag — black 
leather  I  should  say. 

Julia.    He  must  have  been  a  book-agent. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  I  dare  say  he  was;  his  bag 
seemed  heavy.  He  set  it  on  a  stone. 

Mother.  I  dare  say  it  was  the  same  one  that 
came  here  the  other  day.  He  wanted  me  to  buy 
the  "History  of  the  Aborigines,  brought  up  from 
earliest  times  to  the  present  date,"  in  four  volumes. 
I  told  him  I  hadn't  time  to  read  so  much.  He  said 
that  was  no  matter,  few  did,  and  it  wasn't  much 
worth  it — they  bought  books  for  the  look  of  the 
thing. 

Amanda.  Now,  that  was  illiterate ;  he  never 
could  have  graduated.  I  hope,  Elizabeth  Eliza,  you 
had  nothing  to  do  with  that  man. 


THE  PETERKINS  TOO  LATE  FOR  THE  EXHIBITION.     123 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  Very  likely  it  was  not  the  same 
one. 

Mother.  Did  he  have  a  kind  of  pepper-and-salt 
suit,  with  one  of  the  buttons  worn  ? 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  I  noticed  one  of  the  buttons  was 
off. 

Amanda.  We're  off  the  subject.  Did  you  buy 
his  book  ? 

Elizabeth  Eliza.     He  never  offered  us  his  book. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  He  told  us  the  same  story  —  we 
were  going  to  Providence ;  if  we  wanted  to  go  to 
Boston,  we  must  turn  directly  round. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  I  told  him  I  couldn't ;  but  he 
took  the  horse's  head,  and  the  first  thing  I  knew — 

Amanda.     He  had  yanked  you  round ! 

Mrs.  Peterkin.     I  screamed ;  I  couldn't  help  it ! 

Elizabeth  Eliza.    I  was  glad  when  it  was  over ! 

Mother.  "Well,  well ;  it  shows  the  disadvantage 
of  starting  wrong. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  Yes,  we  came  straight  enough 
when  the  horse  was  headed  right ;  but  we  lost  time. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  I  am  sorry  enough  I  lost  the  exhi 
bition,  and  seeing  you  take  the  diploma,  Amanda. 
I  never  got  the  diploma  myself.  I  came  near  it. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  Somehow,  Elizabeth  Eliza  never 
succeeded.  I  think  there  was  partiality  about  the 
promotions. 


124  *         THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  I  never  was  good  about  re 
membering  things.  I  studied  well  enough,  but, 
when  I  came  to  say  off  my  lesson,  I  couldn't  think 
what  it  was.  Yet  I  could  have  answered  some  of 
the  other  girls'  questions. 

Julia.  It's  odd  how  the  other  girls  always  have 
the  easiest  questions. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  I  never  could  remember  poetry. 
There  was  only  one  thing  I  could  repeat. 

Amanda.  Oh,  do  let  us  have  it  now ;  and  then 
we'll  recite  to  you  some  of  our  exhibition  pieces. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.    I'll  try. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  Yes,  Elizabeth  Eliza,  do  what 
you  can  to  help  entertain  Amanda's  friends. 

[All  stand  looking  at  Elizabeth  Eliza,  who 
remains  silent  and  thoughtful.'] 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  I'm  trying  to  think  what  it  is 
about.  You  all  know  it.  You  remember,  Amanda 
—  the  name  is  rather  long. 

Amanda.  It  can't  be  Nebuchadnezzar,  can  it? — 
that  is  one  of  the  longest  names  I  know. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.     O  dear,  no ! 

Julia.     Perhaps  it's  Cleopatra. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  It  does  begin  with  a  "  C  " — only 
he  was  a  boy. 

Amanda.  That's  a  pit}T,  for  it  might  be  "  "We  are 
seven,"  only  that  is  a  girl.  Some  of  them  were  boys. 


THE  PETERKDfS  TOO  LATE  FOR  THE  EXHIBITION.     125 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  It  begins  about  a  boy  —  if  I 
could  only  think  where  he  was.  I  can't  remember. 

Amanda.  Perhaps  he  ' '  stood  upon  the  burning 
deck?" 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  That's  just  it ;  I  knew  he  stood 
somewhere. 

Amanda.     Casabianca!     Now  begin — go  ahead. 

Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  The  boy  stood  on  the  burning  deck, 
When  —  when " 

I  can't  think  who  stood  there  with  him. 

Julia.  If  the  deck  was  burning,  it  must  have 
been  on  fire.  I  guess  the  rest  ran  away,  or  jumped 
into  boats. 

Amanda.    That's  just  it : 

"  Whence  all  but  him  had  fled." 
Elizabeth  Eliza.     I  think  I  can  say  it  now. 

"  The  boy  stood  on  the  burning  deck, 
Whence  all  but  him  had  fled " 

[She  hesitates.']     Then  I  think  he  went 

Julia.     Of  course,  he  fled  after  the  rest. 
Amanda.     Dear,   no!      That's  the  point.      He 

didn't. 

"  The  flames  rolled  on,  he  would  not  go 
Without  his  father's  word." 


126  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.     O  yes.     Now  I  can  say  it. 

"  The  boy  stood  on  the  burning  deck, 

"Whence  all  but  him  had  fled ; 
The  flames  rolled  on,  he  would  not  go 
Without  his  father's  word." 

But  it  used  to  rhyme.     I  don't  know  what  has  hap 
pened  to  it. 

Mrs.  Peterkin.  Elizabeth  Eliza  is  very  particular 
about  the  rhymes. 

Elizabeth  Eliza.  It  must  be  "  without  his  father's 
head"  or,  perhaps,  "without  his  father  said"  he 
should. 

Julia.     I  think  jrou  must  have  omitted  something. 

Amanda.     She  has  left  out  ever  so  much ! 

Mother.  Perhaps  it's  as  well  to  omit  some,  for 
the  ice-cream  has  come,  and  you  must  all  come 
down. 

Amanda.  And  here  are  the  rest  of  the  girls ; 
and  let  us  all  unite  in  a  song ! 

[Exeunt  omnes,  singing.'] 


THE  PETERKINS  CELEBRATE  THE  FOURTH.    127 


THE  PETERKINS  CELEBRATE  THE 
FOURTH  OF  JULY. 


THE  day  began  early. 

A  compact  had  been  made  with  the  little  boys 
the  evening  before. 

They  were  to  be  allowed  to  usher  in  the  glorious 
day  by  the  blowing  of  horns  exactly  at  sunrise. 
But  they  were  to  blow  them  for  precisely  five  min 
utes  only,  and  no  sound  of  the  horns  should  be 
heard  afterward  till  the  family  were  down-stairs. 

It  was  thought  that  a  peace  might  thus  be  bought 
by  a  short  though  crowded  period  of  noise. 

The  morning  came.  Even  before  the  morning,  at 
half-past  three  o'clock,  a  terrible  blast  of  the  horns 
aroused  the  whole  family. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  clasped  her  hands  to  her  head  and 
exclaimed :  "I  am  thankful  the  lady  from  Phila 
delphia  is  not  here  !  "  For  she  had  been  invited  to 
stay  a  week,  but  had  declined  to  come  before  the 
Fourth  of  July,  as  she  was  not  well,  and  her  doc 
tor  had  prescribed  quiet. 


128  THE  PETERKIN  TAPERS. 

And  the  number  of  the  horns  was  most  remark 
able  !  It  was  as  though  every  cow  in  the  place 
had  arisen  and  was  blowing  through  both  her  own 
horns ! 

"How  many  little  bo}^  are  there?  How  many 
have  we?"  exclaimed  Mr.  Peterkin,  going  over 
their  names  one  by  one  mechanically,  thinking  he 
would  do  it,  as  he  might  count  imaginary  sheep 
jumping  over  a  fence,  to  put  himself  to  sleep. 
Alas !  the  counting  could  not  put  him  to  sleep 
now  in  such  a  din. 

And  how  unexpectedly  long  the  five  minutes 
Becmed !  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  to  take  out  her 
watch  and  give  the  signal  for  the  end  of  the  five 
minutes  and  the  ceasing  of  the  horns.  "Why  did 
not  the  signal  come?  "Why  did  not  Elizabeth 
Eliza  stop  them? 

And  certainly  it  was  long  before  sunrise ;  there 
was  no  dawn  to  be  seen ! 

"We  will  not  try  this  plan  again,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin. 

"  If  we  live  to  another  Fourth,"  added  Mr.  Peter- 
kin,  hastening  to  the  door  to  inquire  into  the  state 
of  affairs. 

Alas !  Amanda,  by  mistake,  had  waked  up  the 
little  boys  an  hour  too  early.  And  by  another  mis 
take  the  little  boys  had  invited  three  or  four  of  their 


THE  PETERKINS  CELEBRATE  THE  FOURTH.    129 

friends  to  spend  the  night  with  them.  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  had  given  them  permission  to  have  the  boys  for 
the  whole  day,  and  they  understood  the  day  as 
beginning  when  they  went  to  bed  the  night  before. 
This  accounted  for  the  number  of  horns. 

It  would  have  been  impossible  to  hear  any  ex 
planation  ;  but  the  five  minutes  were  over,  and  the 
horns  had  ceased,  and  there  remained  only  the 
noise  of  a  singular  leaping  of  feet,  explained  per 
haps  by  a  possible  pillow-fight,  that  kept  the  family 
below  partially  awake  until  the  bells  and  cannon 
made  known  the  dawning  of  the  glorious  day  —  the 
sunrise,  or  "  the  rising  of  the  sons,"  as  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  jocosel}'  called  it  when  they  heard  the  little  boys 
and  their  friends  clattering  down  the  stairs  to  begin 
the  outside  festivities. 

They  were  bound  first  for  the  swamp,  for  Eliza 
beth  Eliza,  at  the  suggestion  of  the  lady  from  Phila 
delphia,  had  advised  them  to  hang  some  flags  around 
the  pillars  of  the  piazza.  Now  the  little  boys  knew 
of  a  place  in  the  swamp  where  they  had  been  in  the 
habit  of  digging  for  "flag-root,"  and  where  they 
might  find  plenty  of  flag  flowers.  They  did  bring 
away  all  the}7  could,  but  they  were  a  little  out  of 
bloom.  The  boys  were  in  the  midst  of  nailing  up 
all  they  had  on  the  pillars  of  the  piazza,  when  the 
procession  of  the  Antiques  and  Horribles  passed 


130  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

along.  As  the  procession  saw  the  festive  arrange 
ments  on  the  piazza,  and  the  crowd  of  boys,  who 
cheered  them  loudly,  it  stopped  to  salute  the  house 
with  some  especial  strains  of  greeting. 

Poor  Mrs.  Peterkin !  They  were  directly  under 
her  windows  !  In  the  few  moments  of  quiet  during 
the  boys'  absence  from  the  house  on  their  visit  to 
the  swamp,  she  had  been  trying  to  find  out  whether 
she  had  a  sick-headache,  or  whether  it  was  all  the 
noise,  and  she  was  just  deciding  it  was  the  sick- 
headache,  but  was  falling  into  a  light  slumber,  when 
the  fresh  noise  outside  began. 

There  were  the  imitations  of  the  crowing  of  cocks 
and  braying  of  donkeys,  and  the  sound  of  horns, 
encored  and  increased  by  the  cheers  of  the  boys. 
Then  began  the  torpedoes,  and  the  Antiques  and 
Horribles  had  Chinese  crackers  also. 

And,  in  despair  of  sleep,  the  family  came  down 
to  breakfast. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  had  always  been  much  afraid  of 
fireworks,  and  had  never  allowed  the  boys  to  bring 
gunpowder  into  the  house.  She  was  even  afraid  of 
torpedoes ;  they  looked  so  much  like  sugar-plums, 
she  was  sure  some  of  the  children  would  swallow 
them,  and  explode  before  anybody  knew  it. 

She  was  very  timid  about  other  things.  She  was 
not  sure  even  about  pea-nuts.  Everybody  exclaimed 


THE  PETERK1NS  CELEBRATE  THE  FOURTH.    131 

over  this  :  ' '  Surely  there  was  no  danger  in  pea-nuts  !  " 
But  Mrs.  Peterkin  declared  she  had  been  very  much 
alarmed  at  the  Centennial  Exhibition,  and  in  the 
crowded  corners  of  the  streets  in  Boston,  at  the  pea- 

• 

nut  stands,  where  they  had  machines  to  roast  the 
pea-nuts.  She  did  not  think  it  was  safe.  They 
might  go  off  any  time,  in  the  midst  of  a  crowd  of 
people,  too ! 

Mr.  Peterkin  thought  there  actually  was  no  dan 
ger,  and  he  should  be  sorry  to  give  up  the  pea-nut. 
He  thought  it  an  American  institution,  something 
really  belonging  to  the  Fourth  of  July.  He  even 
confessed  to  a  quiet  pleasure  in  crushing  the  empty 
shells  with  his  feet  on  the  sidewalks  as  he  went 
along  the  streets. 

Agamemnon  thought  it  a  simple  joy. 

In  consideration,  however,  of  the  fact  that  they 
had  had  no  real  celebration  of  the  Fourth  the  last 
year,  Mrs.  Peterkin  had  consented  to  give  over  the 
day,  this  year,  to  the  amusement  of  the  family  as  a 
Centennial  celebration.  She  would  prepare  herself 
for  a  terrible  noise  —  only  she  did  not  want  any 
gunpowder  brought  into  the  house. 

The  little  boys  had  begun  by  firing  some  torpe 
does  a  few  days  beforehand,  that  their  mother  might 
be  used  to  the  sound,  and  had  selected  their  horns 
some  weeks  before. 


132  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Solomon  John  had  been  very  busy  in  inventing 
some  fireworks.  As  Mrs.  Peterkin  objected  to  the 
use  of  gunpowder,  he  found  out  from  the  dictionary 
what  the  different  parts  of  gunpowder  are  —  salt 
petre,  charcoal,  and  sulphur.  Charcoal  he  discov 
ered  they  had  in  the  wood-house ;  saltpetre  they 
would  find  in  the  cellar,  in  the  beef-barrel ;  and 
sulphur  they  could  buy  at  the  apothecary's.  He 
explained  to  his  mother  that  these  materials  had 
never  yet  exploded  in  the  house,  and  she  was 
quieted. 

Agamemnon,  meanwhile,  remembered  a  recipe  he 
had  read  somewhere  for  making  a  ' '  fulminating 
paste"  of  iron-filings  and  powder  of  brimstone. 
He  had  written  it  down  on  a  piece  of  paper  in  his 
pocket-book.  But  the  iron-filings  must  be  finely 
powdered.  This  they  began  upon  a  day  or  two 
before,  and,  the  very  afternoon  before,  laid  out  some 
of  the  paste  on  the  piazza. 

Pin-wheels  and  rockets  were  contributed  by  Mr. 
Peterkin  for  the  evening.  According  to  a  pro 
gramme  drawn  up  by  Agamemnon  and  Solomon 
John,  the  reading  of  the  Declaration  of  Independ 
ence  was  to  take  place  in  the  morning  on  the  piazza 
under  the  flags. 

The  Bromwicks  brought  over  their  flag  to  hang 
over  the  door. 


THE  PETERKINS  CELEBRATE  THE  FOURTH.    133 

"  That  is  what  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  meant," 
explained  Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  She  said  the  flags  of  our  country,"  said  the  little 
boj's.  "  We  thought  she  meant '  in  the  countiy.' '"' 

Quite  a  company  assembled ;  but  it  seemed  no 
body  had  a  copy  of  the  Declaration  of  Independ 
ence. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  said  she  could  say  one  line,  if 
they  each  could  add  as  much.  But  it  proved  they 
all  knew  the  same  line  that  she  did,  as  they  began : 

"When,  in  the  course  of — when,  in  the  course 
of — when,  in  the  course  of  human  —  when,  in  the 
course  of  human  events  —  when,  in  the  course  of 
human  events,  it  becomes  —  when,  in  the  course  of 
human  events,  it  becomes  necessary  —  when,  in  the 
course  of  human  events,  it  becomes  necessary  for 
one  people  —  " 

They  could  not  get  any  farther.  Some  of  the 
party  decided  that  "  one  people"  was  a  good  place 
to  stop,  and  the  little  boys  sent  off  some  fresh  tor 
pedoes  in  honor  of  the  people.  But  Mr.  Peterkin 
was  not  satisfied.  He  invited  the  assembled  party 
to  stay  until  sunset,  and  meanwhile  he  would  find  a 
copy,  and  torpedoes  were  to  be  saved  to  be  fired  off 
at  the  close  of  every  sentence. 

And  now  the  noon  bells  rang  and  the  noon  bells 
ceased. 


134  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  wanted  to  ask  everj-body  to  dinner. 
She  should  have  some  cold  beef.  She  had  let 
Amanda  go,  because  it  was  the  Fourth,  and  every 
body  ought  to  be  free  that  one  day,  so  she  could  not 
have  much  of  a  dinner.  But  when  she  went  to  cut 
her  beef,  she  found  Solomon  had  taken  it  to  soak, 
on  account  of  the  saltpetre  for  the  fireworks  ! 

"Well,  they  had  a  pig,  so  she  took  a  ham,  and  the 
boys  Bad  bought  tamarinds  and  buns  and  a  cocoa- 
nut.  So  the  company  stayed  on,  and  when  the 
Antiques  and  Horribles  passed  again,  they  were 
treated  to  pea-nuts  and  lemonade. 

They  sang  patriotic  songs,  the}r  told  stories,  they 
•fired  torpedoes,  they  frightened  the  cats  with  them. 
It  was  a  warm  afternoon  ;  the  red  poppies  were  out 
wide,  and  the  hot  sun  poured  down  on  the  alley 
ways  in  the  garden.  There  was  a  seething  sound 
of  a  hot  day  in  the  buzzing  of  insects,  in  the  steam 
ing  heat  that  came  up  from  the  ground.  Some 
neighboring  boj's  were  firing  a  toy  cannon.  Every 
time  it  went  off,  Mrs.  Peterkin  started,  and  looked 
to  see  if  one  of  the  little  boys  was  gone.  Mr. 
Peterkin  had  set  out  to  find  a  copy  of  the  ' '  Declara 
tion."  Agamemnon  had  disappeared.  She  had  not 
a  moment  to  decide  about  her  headache.  She  asked 
Ann  Maria  if  she  were  not  anxious  about  the  fire 
works,  and  if  rockets  were  not  dangerous.  They 


THE  PETERKINS  CELEBRATE  THE  FOURTH.    135 

went  up,  but  yon  were  never  sure  where  they  came 
down. 

And  then  came  a  fresh  tumult!  All  the  fire- 
engines  in  town  rushed  toward  them,  clanging  with 
bells,  men  and  bojTs  yelling !  They  were  out  for  a 
practice,  and  for  a  Fourth  of  July  show. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  the  house  was  on  fire,  and 
so  did  some  of  the  guests.  There  was  great  rushing 
hither  and  thither.  Some  thought  they  would  better 
go  home,  some  thought  they  would  better  stay. 
Mrs.  Peterkin  hastened  into  the  house  to  save  her 
self,  or  see  what  she  could  save.  Elizabeth  Eliza 
followed  her,  first  proceeding  to  collect  all  the  pokers 
and  tongs  she  could  find,  because  they  could  be 
thrown  out  of  the  window  without  breaking.  She 
had  read  of  people  who  had  flung  looking-glasses 
out  of  window  by  mistake,  in  the  excitement  of  the 
house  being  on  fire,  and  had  carried  the  pokers  and 
tongs  carefully  into  the  garden.  There  was  nothing 
like  being  prepared.  She  had  always  determined  to 
do  the  reverse.  So  with  calmness  she  told  Solomon 
John  to  take  down  the  looking-glasses.  But  she 
met  with  a  difficulty, —  there  were  no  pokers  and 
tongs,  as  they  did  not  use  them.  The}^  had  no  open 
fires ;  Mrs.  Peterkin  had  been  afraid  of  them.  So 
Elizabeth  Eliza  took  all  the  pots  and  kettles  up  to 
the  upper  windows,  ready  to  be  thrown  out. 


136  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

• 

But  where  was  Mrs.  Peterkin?  Solomon  John 
found  she  had  fled  to  the  attic  in  terror.  He  per 
suaded  her  to  come  down,  assuring  her  it  was  the 
most  unsafe  place ;  but  she  insisted  upon  stopping 
to  collect  some  bags  of  old  pieces,  that  nobody 
would  think  of  saving  from  the  general  wreck,  she 
said,  unless  she  did.  Alas !  this  was  the  result  of 
fireworks  on  Fourth  of  July  !  As  they  came  down 
stairs,  they  heard  the  voices  of  all  the  company 
declaring  there  was  no  fire ;  the  danger  was  past. 
It  was  long  before  Mrs.  Peterkin  could  believe  it. 
They  told  her  the  fire  company  was  only  out  for 
show,  and  to  celebrate  the  Fourth  of  July.  She 
thought  it  already  too  much  celebrated. 

Elizabeth  Eliza's  kettles  and  pans  had  come  down 
through  the  windows  with  a  crash,  that  had  only 
added  to  the  festivities,  the  little  boys  thought. 

Mr.  Peterkin  had  been  roaming  about  all  this  time 
in  search  of  a  copy  of  the  Declaration  of  Independ 
ence.  The  public  library  was  shut,  and  he  had  to 
go  from  house  to  house ;  but  now,  as  the  sunset 
bells  and  cannon  began,  he  returned  with  a  copy,  and 
read  it,  to  the  pealing  of  the  bells  and  sounding  of 
the  cannon.  Torpedoes  and  crackers  were  fired  at 
every  pause.  Some  sweet-majoram  pots,  tin  cans 
filled  with  crackers  which  were  lighted,  went  off 
with  great  explosions. 


THE  PETERKTNS  CELEBRATE  THE  FOURTH.    137 

At  the  most  exciting  moment,  near  the  close  of 
the  reading,  Agamemnon,  with  an  expression  of 
terror,  pulled  Solomon  John  aside. 

"  I  have  suddenly  remembered  where  I  read  about 
the  '  fulminating  paste '  we  made.  It  was  in  the 
preface  to  '  Woodstock,'  and  I  have  been  round  to 
borrow  the  book,  to  read  the  directions  over  again, 
because  I  was  afraid  about  the  '  paste '  going  off. 
READ  THIS  QUICKLY  !  and  tell  me,  Where  is  the  ful 
minating  paste?" 

Solomon  John  was  busy  winding  some  covers  of 
paper  over  a  little  parcel.  It  contained  chlorate  of 
potash  and  sulphur  mixed.  A  friend  had  told  him 
of  the  composition.  The  more  thicknesses  of  paper 
you  put  round  it,  the  louder  it  would  go  off.  You 
must  pound  it  with  a  hammer.  Solomon  John  felt 
it  must  be  perfectly  safe,  as  his  mother  had  taken 
potash  for  a  medicine. 

He  still  held  the  parcel  as  he  read  from  Agamem 
non's  book  :  "  This  paste,  when  it  has  lain  together 
about  twenty-six  hours,  will  of  itself  take  fire,  and 
burn  all  the  sulphur  away  with  a  blue  flame  and  a 
bad  smell." 

"Where  is  the  paste ?"  repeated  Solomon  John, 
in  terror. 

"We  made  it  just  twenty-six,  hours  ago,"  said 
Agamemnon. 


138  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

""We  put  it  on  the  piazza,"  exclaimed  Solomon 
John,  rapidly  recalling  the  facts,  "  and  it  is  in  front 
of  our  mother's  feet ! " 

He  hastened  to  snatch  the  paste  away  before  it 
should  take  fire,  flinging  aside  the  packet  in  his 
hurry.  Agamemnon,  jumping  upon  the  piazza  at 
the  same  moment,  trod  upon  the  paper  parcel,  which 
exploded  at  once  with  the  shock,  and  he  fell  to  the 
ground,  while  at  the  same  moment  the  paste  "  ful 
minated  "  into  a  blue  flame  directly  in  front  of  Mrs. 
Peterkin ! 

It  was  a  moment  of  great  confusion.  There  were 
cries  and  screams.  The  bells  were  still  ringing,  the 
cannon  firing,  and  Mr.  Peterkin  had  just  reached 
the  closing  words :  "  Our  lives,  our  fortune,  and  our 
sacred  honor." 

"We  are  all  blown  up,  as  I  feared  we  should  be," 
Mrs.  Peterkin  at  length'  ventured  to  say,  finding  her 
self  in  a  lilac-bush  by  the  side  of  the  piazza.  She 
scarcely  dared  to  open  her  eyes  to  see  the  scattered 
limbs  about  her. 

It  was  so  with  all.  Even  Ann  Maria  Bromwick 
clutched  a  pillar  of  the  piazza,  with  closed  eyes. 

At  length  Mr.  Peterkin  said,  calmly,  "  Is  any 
body  killed?" 

There  was  no  reply.  Nobody  could  tell  whether 
it  was  because  everybody  was  killed,  or  because 


THE  PETERKINS  CELEBRATE  THE  FOURTH.    139 

they  were  too  wounded  to  answer.  It  was  a  great 
while  before  Mrs.  Peterkin  ventured  to  move. 

But  the  little  boys  soon  shouted  with  joy  and 
cheered  the  success  of  Solomon  John's  fireworks, 
and  hoped  he  had  some  more.  One  of  them  had  his 
face  blackened  by  an  unexpected  cracker,  and  Eliza 
beth  Eliza's  muslin  dress  was  burned  here  and  there. 
But  no  one  was  hurt ;  no  one  had  lost  any  limbs, 
though  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  sure  she  had  seen  some 
flying  in  the  air.  Nobody  could  understand  how,  as 
she  had  kept  her  eyes  firmly  shut. 

No  greater  accident  had  occurred  than  the  singe 
ing  of  the  tip  of  Solomon  John's  nose.  But  there 
was  an  unpleasant  and  terrible  odor  from  the  "ful 
minating  paste." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  extricated  from  the  lilac-bush. 
No  one  knew  how  she  got  there.  Indeed,  the 
thundering  noise  had  stunned  everybodj*.  It  had 
roused  the  neighborhood  even  more  than  before. 
Answering  explosions  came  on  every  side,  and 
though  the  sunset  light  had  not  faded  away,  the 
little  boys  hastened  to  send  off  rockets  under  cover 
of  the  confusion.  Solomon  John's  other  fireworks 
would  not  go.  But  all  felt  he  had  done  enough. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  retreated  into  the  parlor,  deciding 
she  really  did  have  a  headache.  At  times  she  had 
to  come  out  when  a  rocket  went  off,  to  see  if  it  was 


140  THE  PETERRIN  PAPERS. 

one  of  the  little  boys.  Sh'e  was  exhausted  by  the 
adventures  of  the  da}',  and  almost  thought  it  could 
"not  have  been  worse  if  the  boys  had  been  allowed 
gunpowder.  The  distracted  lady  was  thankful  there 
was  likely  to  be  but  one  Centennial  Fourth  in  her 
lifetime,  and  declared  she  should  never  more  keep 
anj*thing  in  the  house  as  dangerous  as  saltpetred 
beef,  and  she  should  never  venture  to  take  another 
spoonful  of  potash. 


THE  PETERKINS'   PICNIC.  141 


THE  PETERKINS'  FICHIC. 


THERE  was  some  doubt  about  the  weather.  Solo 
mon  John  looked  at  the  ' '  Probabilities  ; "  there 
were  to  be  "  areas "  of  rain  in  the  New  England 
States. 

Agamemnon  thought  if  they  could  only  know 
where  the  areas  of  rain  were  to  be,  they  might  go  to 
the  others.  Mr.  Peterkin  proposed  walking  round 
the  house  in  a  procession,  to  examine  the  sk}^.  As 
they  returned,  they  met  Ann  Maria  Bromwick,  who 
was  to  go,  much  surprised  not  to  find  them  ready. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  were  to  go  in  the  carryall, 
and  take  up  the  lady  from  Philadelphia,  and  Ann 
Maria,  with  the  rest,  was  to  follow  in  a  wagon,  and 
to  stop  for  the  daughters  of  the  lady  from  Philadel 
phia.  The  wagon  arrived,  and  so  Mr.  Peterkin  had 
the  horse  put  into  the  carryall. 

A  basket  had  been  kept  on  the  back  piazza  for 
some  days,  where  anybody  could  put  anything  that 
would  be  needed  for  the  picnic,  as  soon  as  it  was 
thought  .of.  Agamemnon  had  already  decided  to 


142  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

take  a  thermometer,  Somebody  was  always  com 
plaining  of  being  too  hot  or  too  cold  at  a  picnic, 
and  it  would  be  a  great  convenience  to  see  if  she 
really  were  so.  He  thought  now  he  might  take  a 
barometer,  as  "Probabilities"  was  so  uncertain. 
Then,  if  it  went  down  in  a  threatening  way,  they 
could  all  come  back. 

The  little  boys  had  tied  their  kites  to  the  basket. 
They  had  never  tried  them  at  home  ;  it  might  be  a 
good  chance  on  the  hills.  Solomon  John  had  put 
in  some  fishing-poles ;  Elizabeth  Eliza  a  book  of 
poetry.  Mr.  Peterkin  did  not  like  sitting  on  the 
ground,  and  proposed  taking  two  chairs,  one  for 
himself  and  one  for  anybody  else.  The  little  boys 
were  perfectly  happy ;  they  jumped  in  and  out  of 
the  wagon  a  dozen  times,  with  new  india-rubber 
boots  bought  for  the  occasion. 

Before  they  started,  Mrs.  Peterkin  began  to  think 
she  had  already  had  enough  of  the  picnic,  what  with 
going  and  coming,  and  trying  to  remember  things. 
So  many  mistakes  were  made.  The  things  that 
were  to  go  in  the  wagon  were  put  in  the  cany  all, 
and  the  things  in  the  carryall  had  to  be  taken  out 
for  the  wagon  !  Elizabeth  Eliza  forgot  her  water 
proof,  and  had  to  go  back  for  her  veil,  and  Mr.  Pet 
erkin  came  near  forgetting  his  umbrella. 

Mrs.  Peterkin   sat  on  the   piazza   and   tried   to 


THE   PETEKKINS'   PICNIC.  143 

think.  She  felt  as  if  she  must  have  forgotten  some 
thing  ;  she  knew  she  must.  Why  could  not  she 
think  of  it  now,  before  it  was  too  late  ?  It  seems 
hard  any  day  to  think  what  to  have  for  dinner,  but 
how  much  easier  now  it  would  be  to  stay  at  home 
quietly  and  order  the  dinner, —  and  there  was  the 
butcher's  cart !  But  now  they  must  think  of  every 
thing. 

At  last  she  was  put  into  the  carryall,  and  Mr. 
Peterkin  in  front  to  drive.  Twice  they  started,  and 
twice  they  found  something  was  left  behind, — the 
loaf  of  fresh  brown  bread  on  the  back  piazza,  and  a 
basket  of  sandwiches  on  the  front  porch.  And  just 
as  the  wagon  was  leaving,  the  little  boys  shrieked, 
' '  The  basket  of  things  was  left  behind ! " 

Everj-body  got  out  of  the  wagon.  Agamemnon 
went  back  into  the  house,  to  see  if  anything  else 
were  left.  He  looked  into  the  closets  ;  he  shut  the 
front  door,  and  was  so  busy  that  he  forgot  to  get 
into  the  wagon  himself.  It  started  off  and  went 
down  the  street  without  him  ! 

He  was  wondering  what  he  should  do  if  he  were 
left  behind  (why  had  they  not  thought  to  arrange  a 
telegraph  wire  to  the  back  wheel  of  the  wagon,  so 
that  he  might  have  sent  a  message  in  such  a  case  !), 
when  the  Bromwicks  drove  out  of  then-  yard  in  their 
buggy,  and  took  him  in. 


144  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

They  joined  the  rest  of  the  party  at  Tatham 
Corners,  where  they  were  all  to  meet  and  consult 
where  they  were  to  go.  Mrs.  Peterkin  called  to 
Agamemnon,  as  soon  as  he  appeared.  She  had 
been  holding  the  barometer  and  the  thermometer, 
and  they  waggled  so  that  it  troubled  her.  It  was 
hard  keeping  the  thermometer  out  of  the  sun,  which 
would  make  it  so  warm.  It  really  took  away  her 
pleasure,  holding  the  things.  Agamemnon  decided 
to  get  into  the  carryall,  on  the  seat  with  his  father, 
and  take  the  barometer  and  thermometer. 

The  consultation  went  on.  Should  they  go  to 
Cherry  Swamp,  or  Lonetown  Hill?  You  had  the 
view  if  you  went  to  Lonetown  Hill,  but  maj^be  the 
drive  to  Cherry  Swamp  was  prettier. 

Somebody  suggested  asking  the  lady  from  Phila 
delphia,  as  the  picnio  was  got  up  for  her. 

But  where  was  she  ? 

"I  declare,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "I  forgot  to 
stop  for  her ! "  The  whole  picnic  there,  and  no  lady 
from  Philadelphia ! 

It  seemed  the  horse  had  twitched  his  head  in  a 
threatening  manner  as  they  passed  the  house,  and 
Mr.  Peterkin  had  forgotten  to  stop,  and  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  had  been  so  busy  managing  the  thermometers 
that  she  had  not  noticed,  and  the  wagon  had  fol 
lowed  on  behind. 


THE   PETERKINS'    PICNIC.  145 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  in  despair.  She  knew  they  had 
forgotten  something !  She  did  not  like  to  have  Mr. 
Peterkin  make  a  short  turn,  and  it  was  getting  late, 
and  what  would  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  think  of 
it,  and  had  they  not  better  give  it  all  up  ? 

But  everybody  said  "No!"  and  Mr.  Peterkin 
said  he  could  make  a  wide  turn  round  the  Lovejoy 
barn.  So  they  made  the  turn,  and  took  up  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia,  and  the  wagon  followed  behind 
and  took  up  her  daughters,  for  there  was  a  driver  in 
the  wagon  besides  Solomon  John. 

Ann  Maria  Bromwick  said  it  was  so  late  by  this 
time,  they  might  as  well  stop  and  have  the  picnic  on 
the  Common!  But  the  question  was  put  again, 
Where  should  they  go  ? 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  decided  for  Straw 
berry  Nook — it  sounded  inviting.  There  were  no 
strawberries,  and  there  was  no  nook,  it  was  said, 
but  there  was  a  good  place  to  tie  the  horses. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  feeling  a  little  nervous,  for  she 
did  not  know  what  the  lady  from  Philadelphia  would 
think  of  their  having  forgotten  her,  and  the  more 
she  tried  to  explain  it,  the  worse  it  seemed  to  make 
it.  She  supposed  they  never  did  such  things  in 
Philadelphia ;  she  knew  they  had  invited  all  the 
world  to  a  party,  but  she  was  sure  she  would  never 
want  to  invite  anybody  again.  There  was  no  fun 


146  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

about  it,  till  it  was  all  over.  Such  a  mistake  —  to 
have  a  party  for  a  person,  and  then  go  without  her ; 
but  she  knew  they  would  forget  something !  She 
wished  they  had  not  called  it  thsir  picnic. 

There  was  another  bother !  Mr.  Peterkin  stopped. 
"Was  anything  broke?"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Peterkin. 
' '  Was  something  forgotten  ? "  asked  the  lady  from 
Philadelphia. 

No !  But  Mr.  Peterkin  didn't  know  the  way ; 
and  here  he  was  leading  all  the  party,  and  a  long 
row  of  carriages  following. 

They  all  stopped,  and  it  seemed  nobody  knew  the 
way  to  Strawberry  Nook,  unless  it  was  the  Gibbons 
boys,  who  were  far  behind.  They  were  made  to 
drive  up,  and  said  that  Strawberry  Nook  was  in 
quite  a  different  direction,  but  they  could  bring  the 
party  round  to  it  through  the  meadows. 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  thought  they  might 
stop  anj'where,  such  a  pleasant  day,  but  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  said  they  were  started  for  Strawberry  Nook,  and 
had  better  keep  on, 

So  they  kept  on.  It  proved  to  be  an  excellent 
place,  where  they  could  tie  the  horses  to  a  fance. 
Mrs.  Peterkin  did  not  like  their  all  heading  different 
ways ;  it  seemed  as  if  any  of  them  might  come  at 
her,  and  tear"  up  the  fence,  especially  as  the  little 
boys  had  their  kites  flapping  round.  The  Tremletts 


THE   PETERKTNS'   PICNIC.  147 

insisted  upon  the  whole  party  going  up  on  the  hill ; 
it  was  too  damp  below.  So  the  Gibbons  boys,  and 
the  little  boys  and  Agamemnon,  and  Solomon  John, 
and  all  the  party  had  to  carry  everything  up  to  the 
rocks.  The  large  basket  of  "things"  was  very 
heavy.  It  had  been  difficult  to  lift  it  into  the  wagon, 
and  it  was  harder  to  take  it  out.  But  with  the  help 
of  the  driver,  and  Mr.  Peterkin,  and  old  Mr.  Brom- 
wick,  it  was  got  up  the  hill. 

And  at  last  all  was  arranged.  Mr.  Peterkin  was 
seated  in  his  chair.  The  other  was  offered  to  the 
lad}-  from  Philadelphia,  but  she  preferred  the  car 
riage  cushions ;  so  did  old  Mr.  Bromwick.  And 
the  table-cloth  was  spread, — for  they  did  bring  a 
table-cloth, — and  the  baskets  were  opened,  and  the 
picnic  really  began.  The  pickles  had  tumbled  intc 
the  butter,  and  the  spoons  had  been  forgotten,  and 
the  Tremletts'  basket  had  been  left  on  their  front 
door-step.  But  nobody  seemed  to  mind.  Every 
body  was  hungry,  and  everything  they  ate  seemed 
of  the  best.  The  little  boys  were  perfectly  happy, 
and  ate  of  all  the  kinds  of  cake.  Two  of  the 
Tremletts  would  stand  while  they  were  eating, 
because  they  were  afraid  of  the  ants  and  the  spiders 
that  seemed  to  be  crawling  round.  And  Elizabeth 
Eliza  had  to  keep  poking  with  a  fern  leaf  to  drive 
the  insects  out  of  the  plates.  The  lady  from  Phila- 


148  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

delphia  was  made  comfortable  with  the  cushions 
and  shawls,  leaning  against  a  rock.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
wondered  if  she  forgot  she  had  been  forgotten. 

John  Osborne  said  it  was  time  for  conundrums, 
and  asked :  ' '  Why  is  a  pastoral  musical  play  better 
than  the  music  we  have  here?  Because  one  is  a 
grasshopper,  and  the  other  is  a  grass-opera !  " 

Elizabeth  Eliza  said  she  knew  a  conundrum,  a 
very  funny  one,  one  of  her  friends  in  Boston 

had  told  her.     It  was,  "Why  is "    It  began, 

"Why. is   something  like "      No,  "Why   are 

they  different?"  It  was  something  about  an  old 
woman,  or  else  it  was  something  about  a  young  one. 
It  was  very  funny,  if  she  could  only  think  what  it 
was  about,  or  whether  it  was  alike  or  different. 

The  lady  from  Philadelphia  was  proposing  they 
should  guess  Elizabeth  Eliza's  conundrum,  first  the 
question,  and  then  the  answer,  when  one  of  the 
Tremletts  came  running,  down  the  hill,  and  declared 
she  had  just  discovered  a  very  threatening  cloud, 
and  she  was  sure  it  was  going  to  rain  down  directly. 
Everybody  started  up,  though  no  cloud  was  to  be 
seen. 

There  was  a  great  looking  for  umbrellas  and 
water-proofs.  Then  it  appeared  that  Elizabetb 
Eliza  had  left  hers,  after  all,  though  she  had  gone 
back  for  it  twice.  Mr.  Peterkin  knew  he  had  not 


THE   PETERKINS'   PICNIC.  149 

forgotten  his  umbrella,  because  he  had  put  the 
whole  umbrella-stand  into  the  wagon,  and  it  had 
been  brought  up  the  hill,  but  it  proved  to  hold  only 
the  family  canes ! 

There  was  a  great  cry  for  the  ' '  emergenc}T  bas 
ket,"  that  had  not  been  opened  yet.  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  explained  how  for  days  the  family  had  been 
putting  into  it  what  might  be  needed,  as  soon  as 
anything  was  thought  of.  Everybody  stopped  to 
see  its  contents.  It  was  carefully  covered  with 
newspapers.'  First  came  out  a  backgammon-board. 
u That  would  be  useful,"  said  Ann  Maria,  "if  we 
'have  to  spend  the  afternoon  in  anybody's  barn." 
Next,  a  pair  of  andirons.  "What  were  they  for?" 
"In  case  of  needing  a  fire  in  the  woods,"  explained 
Solomon  John.  Then  came  a  volume  of  the  Ency 
clopaedia.  But  it  was  the  first  volume,  Agamemnon 
now  regretted,  and  contained  only  A  and  a  part  of 
B,  and  nothing  about  rain  or  showers.  Next,  a 
bag  of  pea-nuts,  put  in  by  the  little  boys,  and 
Elizabeth  Eliza's  book  of  poetry,  and  a  change  of 
boots  for  Mr.  Peterkin  ;  a  small  foot-rug  in  case  the 
ground  should  be  damp ;  some  paint-boxes  of  the 
little  boys' ;  a  box  of  fish-hooks  for  Solomon  John  ; 
an  ink-bottle,  carefully  done  up  in  a  great  deal  of 
newspaper,  which  was  fortunate,  as  the  ink  was 
oozing  out;  some  old  magazines,  and  a  blacking- 


150  THE  PETERK1N  PAPERS. 

bottle ;  and  at  the  bottom,  a  sun-dial.  It  was  all 
very  entertaining,  and  there  seemed  to  be  something 
for  every  occasion  but  the  present.  Old  Mr.  Broni- 
wick  did  not  wonder  the  basket  was  so  heavy.  It 
was  all  so  interesting  that  nobody  but  the  Tremletts 
went  down  to  the  carnages. 

The  sun  was  shining  brighter  than  ever,  and  Ann 
Maria  insisted  on  setting  up  the  sun-dial.  Certainly 
there  was  no  danger  of  a  shower,  and  they  might  as 
well  go  on  with  the  picnic.  But  when  Solomon 
John  and  Ann  Maria  had  arranged  the  sun-dial, 
the}'  asked  everybody  to  look  at  their  watches,  so 
that  they  might  see  if  it  was  right.  And  then  came 
a  great  exclamation  at  the  hour:  "It  was  time 
they  were  all  going  home  ! " 

The  lad}'  from  Philadelphia  had  been  wrapping 
her  shawl  about  her,  as  she  felt  the  sun  was  low. 
But  nobody  had  any  idea  it  was  so  late !  Well. 
the}'  had  left  late,  and  went  back  a  great  many 
tunes,  had  stopped  sometimes  to  consult,  and  had 
been  long  on  the  road,  and  it  had  taken  a  long  time 
to  fetch  up  the  things,  so  it  was  no  wonder  it  was 
time  to  go  away.  But  it  had  been  a  delightful 
picnic,  after  all. 


THE  PETERKINS'   CHABADES.  151 


THE  PETERKINS1  CHARADES. 


EVER  since  they  had  come  home  from  the  great 
Centennial  at  Philadelphia,  the  Peterkins  had  felt 
anxious  to  have  "something."  The  little  boys 
wanted  to  get  up  a  "  great  Exposition,"  to  show 
to  the  people  of  the  place  who  had  not  been  able  to 
go  to  Philadelphia.  But  Mr.  Peterkin  thought  it 
too  great  an  effort,  and  it  was  given  up. 

There  was,  however,  a  new  water-trough  needed 
on  the  town  common,  and  the  ladies  of  the  place 
thought  it  ought  to  be  something  handsome, — some 
thing  more  than  a  common' trough, — and  they  ought 
to  work  for  it. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  had  heard  at  Philadelphia  how 
much  women  had  done,  and  she  felt  they  ought  to 
contribute  to  such  a  cause.  She  had  an  idea,  but 
she  would  not  speak  of  it  at  first,  not  until  after  she 
had  written  to  the  lady  from  Philadelphia.  She  had 
often  thought,  in  many  cases,  if  they  had  asked  her 
advice  first,  they  might  have  saved  trouble. 

Still,  how  could  they  ask  advice  before  they  them- 


152  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

selves  knew  what  they  wanted?  It  was  very  easy 
to  ask  advice,  but  you.  must  first  know  what  to  ask 
about.  And  again :  Elizabeth  Eliza  felt  j'ou  might 
have  ideas,  but  you  could  not  alwa}*s  put  them  to 
gether.  There  was  this  idea  of  the  water-trough, 
and  then  this  idea  of  getting  some  money  for  it. 
So  she  began  with  writing  to  the  lady  from  Phila 
delphia.  The  little  boys  believed  she  spent  enough 
for  it  in  postage-stamps  before  it  all  came  out. 

But  it  did  come  out  at  last  that  the  Feterkins 
were  to  have  some  charades  at  their  own  house  for 
the  benefit  of  the  needed  water-trough, — tickets 
sold  only  to  especial  friends.  Ann  Maria  Bromwick 
was  to  help  act,  because  she  could  bring  some  old 
bonnets  and  gowns  that  had  been  worn  by  an  aged 
aunt  years  ago,  and  which  they  had  always  kept. 
Elizabeth  Eliza  said  that  Solomon  John  would  have 
to  be  a  Turk,  and  they  must  borrow  all  the  red  things 
and  cashmere  scarfs  in  the  place.  She  knew  people 
would  be  willing  to  lend  things. 

Agamemnon  thought  you  ought  to  get  in  some 
thing  about  the  Hindoos,  they  were  such  an  odd 
people.  Elizabeth  Eliza  said  you  must  not  have  it 
too  odd,  or  people  would  not  understand  it,  and  she 
did  not  want  anything  to  frighten  her  mother.  She 
had  one  word  suggested  by  the  lady  from  Phila 
delphia  in  her  letters, — the  one  that  had  "  Turk"  in 
it, — but  they  ought  to  have  two  words. 


THE   PETERKINS'    CHARADES.  153 

"  Oh,  yes,"  Ann  Maria  said,  "  you  must  have  two 
words ;  if  the  people  paid  for  their  tickets,  they 
would  want  to  get  their  money's  worth." 

Solomon  John  thought  you  might  have  "Hin 
doos  "  ;  the  little  boj's  could  color  their  faces  brown 
to  look  like  Hindoos.  You  could  have  the  first 
scene  an  Irishman  catching  a  hen,  and  then  paying 
the  water-taxes  for  "  dues,"  and  then  have  the  little 
boys  for  Hindoos. 

A  great  many  other  words  were  talked  of,  but 
nothing  seemed  to  suit.  There  was  a  curtain,  too, 
to  be  thought  of,  because  the  folding-doors  stuck 
when  you  tried  to  open  and  shut  them.  Agamem 
non  said  the  Pan-Elocutionists  had  a  curtain  they 
would  probably  lend  John  Osborne,  and  so  it  was 
decided  to  ask  John  Osborne  to  help. 

If  they  had  a  curtain  they  ought  to  have  a  stage. 
Solomon  John  said  he  was  sure  he  had  boards  and 
nails  enough,  and  it  would  be  easy  to  make  a  stage 
if  John  Osborne  would  help  put  it  up. 

All  this  talk  was  the  day  before  the  charades.  In 
the  midst  of  it  Ann  Maria  went  over  for  her  old 
bonnets  and  dresses  and  umbrellas,  and  they  spent 
the  evening  in  trying  on  the  various  things, —  such 
odd  caps  and  remarkable  bonnets  !  Solomon  John 
said  they  ought  to  have  plenty  of  bandboxes ;  if 
you  only  had  bandboxes  enough,  a  charade  was  sure 


154  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

to  go  off  well ;  he  had  seen  charades  in  Boston. 
Mrs.  Fetcrkiu  said  there  were  plenty  in  their  attic, 
and  the  little  boys  brought  down  piles  of  them,  and 
the  back  parlor  was  filled  with  costumes. 

Ann  Maria  said  she  could  bring  over  more  things 
if  she  only  knew  what  they  were  going  to  act. 
Elizabeth  Eliza  told  her  to  bring  anything  she  had, 
—  it  would  all  come  of  use. 

The  morning  came,  and  the  boards  were  collected 
for  the  stage.  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John  gave 
themselves  to  the  work,  and  John  Osborne  helped 
zealously.  He  said  the  Pan-Elocutionists  would 
lend  a  scene  also.  There  was  a  great  clatter  of 
bandboxes,  and  piles  of  shawls  in  corners,  and  such 
a  piece  of  work  in  getting  up  the  curtain !  In  tho 
midst  of  it  came  in  the  little  boys,  shouting,  "AH 
the  tickets  are  sold  at  ten  cents  each !  " 

" Seventy  tickets  sold!"  exclaimed  Agamemnon. 

"  Seven  dollars  for  the  water-trough  !  "  said  Eliza 
beth  Eliza. 

"  And  we  do  not  know  yet  what  we  are  going  to 
act ! "  exclaimed  Ann  Maria. 

But  everybody's  attention  had  to  be  given  to  the 
scene  that  was  going  up  in  the  background,  bor 
rowed  from  the  Pan-Elocutionists.  It  was  magnifi 
cent,  and  represented  a  forest. 

""Where  are  we  going  to  put  seventy  people?" 


THE   PETERKTNS'   CHARADES.  155 

exclaimed  Mrs.  Peterkin,  venturing,  dismayed,  intc 
the  heaps  of  shavings  and  boards  and  litter. 

The  little  boys  exclaimed  that  a  large  part  of  the 
audience  consfsted  of  boys,  who  would  not  take  up 
much  room.  But  how  much  clearing  and  sweeping 
and  moving  of  chairs  was  necessary,  before  all  could 
be  made  ready !  It  was  late,  and  some  of  the  people 
had  already  come  to  secure  good  seats,  even  before 
the  actors  had  assembled. 

"  What  are  we  going  to  act?"  asked  Ann  Maria. 

' '  I  have  been  so  torn  with  one  thing  and  an 
other,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza,  ' '  I  haven't  had  time  to 
think ! " 

"Haven't  you  the  word  yet?"  asked  John  Os- 
borne,  for  the  audience  was  flocking  in,  and  the 
seats  were  filling  up  rapidly. 

"  I  have  got  one  word  in  my  pocket,"  said  Eliza 
beth  Eliza,  "  in  the  letter  from  the  lady  from  Phila 
delphia.  She  sent  me  the  parts  of  the  word. 
Solomon  John  is  to  be  a  Turk,  but  I  don't  yet 
understand  the  whole  of  the  word." 

"  You  don't  know  the  word,  and  the  people  are  all 
here  ! "  said  John  Osborne,  impatiently. 

"  Elizabeth  Eliza !  "  exclaimed  Ann  Maria,  "Solo 
mon  John  says  I'm  to  be  a  Turkish  slave,  and  I'll 
have  to  wear  a  veil.  Do  you  know  where  the  veils 
are  ?  You  know  I  brought  them  over  last  night." 


156  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

"Elizabeth  Eliza!  Solomon  John  wants  you  to 
send  him  the  large  cashmere  scarf,"  exclaimed  one 
of  the  little  boys,  coming  in.  "Elizabeth  Eliza! 
you  must  tell  us  what  kind  of  faces  to  make  up !  " 
cried  another  of  the  boys. 

And  the  audience  were  heard  meanwhile  taking 
their  seats  ou  the  other  side  of  the  thin  curtain. 

"You  sit  in  front,  Mrs.  Bromwick,  you  are  a 
little  hard  of  hearing  ;  sit  where  you  can  hear." 

"  And  let  Julia  Fitch  come  where  she  can  see," 
said  another  voice. 

' '  And  we  have  not  any  words  for  them  to  hear 
or  see ! "  exclaimed  John  Osborne,  behind  the  cur 
tain. 

"  Oh,  I  wish  we'd  never  determined  to  have  char 
ades  !  "  exclaimed  Elizabeth  Eliza.  "  Can't  we  re 
turn  the  money  ?  " 

' '  They  are  all  here ;  we  must  give  them  some 
thing  !  "  said  John  Osborne,  heroically. 

"And  Solomon  John  is  almost  dressed,"  reported 
Ann  Maria,  winding  a  veil  around  her  head. 

"  Why  don't  we  take  Solomon  John's  word  '  Hin 
doos '  for  the  first?"  said  Agamemnon. 

John  Osborne  agreed  to  go  in  the  first,  hunting 
the  "hin,"  or  anything,  and  one  of  the  little  boys 
took  the  part  of  the  hen,  with  the  help  of  a  feather- 
duster.  The  bell  rang,  and  the  first  scene  began. 


THE   PETERKINS*   CHARADES.  157 

It  was  a  great  success.  John  Osborne's  Irish  was 
perfect.  Nobody  guessed  it,  for  the  hen  crowed  by 
mistake  ;  but  it  received  great  applause. 

Mr.  Peterkin  came  on  in  the  second  scene  to  re 
ceive  the  water-rates,  and  made  a  long  speech  on 
taxation.  He  was  interrupted  by  Ann  Maria  as  an 
old  woman  in  a  huge  bonnet.  She  persisted  in  turn 
ing  her  back  to  the  audience,  speaking  so  low  no 
body  heard  her ;  and  Elizabeth  Eliza,  who  appeared 
in  a  more  remarkable  bonnet,  was  so  alarmed  she 
went  directly  back,  saying  she  had  forgotten  some 
thing.  But  this  was  supposed  to  be  the  effect 
intended,  and  it  was  loudly  cheered. 

Then  came  a  long  delay,  for  the  little  bo}^s  brought 
out  a  number  of  their  friends  to  be  browned  for  Hin 
doos.  Ann  Maria  played  on  the  piano  till  the  scene 
was  ready.  The  curtain  rose  upon  five  brown  boys 
done  up  in  blankets  and  turbans. 

"  I  am  thankful  that  is  over,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
"for  now  we  can  act  my  word.  Only  I  don't  myself 
know  the  whole," 

"  Never  mind,  let  us  act  it,"  said  John  Osborne, 
"  and  the  audience  can  guess  the  whole." 

"The  first  syllable  must  be  the  letter  P,"  said 
Elizabeth  Eliza,  ' '  and  we  must  have  a  school." 

Agamemnon  was  master,  and  the  little  boys  and 
their  friends  went  on  as  scholars.  All  the  boys 


158  THE  PETERKIX  PAPERS. 

talked  and  shouted  at  once,  acting  their  idea  of  a 
school  by  flinging  pea-nuts  about,  and  scoffing  at  the 
master. 

"  They'll  guess  that  to  be  '  row,' "  said  John  Os- 
borne  in  despair ;  ' '  they'll  never  guess  '  P ' !  " 

The  next  scene  was  gorgeous.  Solomon  John,  as 
a  Turk,  reclined  on  John  Osborne's  armj'-blanket. 
He  had  on  a  turban,  and  a  long  beard,  and  all  the 
family  shawls.  Ann  Maria  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  were 
brought  in  to  him,  veiled,  by  the  little  bo}"s  in  their 
Hindoo  costumes. 

This  was  considered  the  great  scene  of  the  even 
ing,  though  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  sure  she  did  not 
know  what  to  do,  —  whether  to  kneel  or  sit  down  ; 
she  did  not  know  whether  Turkish  women  did  sit 
down,  and  she  could  not  help  laughing  whenever  she 
looked  at  Solomon  John.  He,  however,  kept  his 
solemnity.  "I  suppose  I  need  not  say  much,"  he 
had  said,  "  for  I  shall  be  the  '  Turk  who  was  dream 
ing  of  the  hour.' "  But  he  did  order  the  little  boys 
to  bring  sherbet,  and  when  they  brought  it  without 
ice,  insisted  they  must  have  their  heads  cut  off,  and 
Ann  Maria  fainted,  and  the  scene  closed. 

' '  What  are  we  to  do  now  ?  "  asked  John  Osborne, 
warming  up  to  the  occasion. 

"We  must  have  an  'inn'  scene,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza,  consulting  her  letter;  "two  inns  if  we  can." 


THE   PETERKINS'    CHARADES.  159 

""We  will  have  some  travellers  disgusted  with 
one  inn,  and  going  to  another,"  said  John  Os- 
borne. 

"  Now  is  the  time  for  the  bandboxes,"  said  Solo 
mon  John,  who,  since  his  Turk  scene  was  over> 
could  give  his  attention  to  the  rest  of  the  charade. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  and  Ann  Maria  went  on  as  rival 
hostesses,  trying  to  draw  Solomon  John,  Agamem 
non,  and  John  Osborne  into  their  several  inns.  The 
little  boys  carried  valises,  hand-bags,  umbrellas,  and 
bandboxes.  Bandbox  -after  bandbox  appeared,  and 
when  Agamemnon  sat  down  upon  his,  the  applause 
was  immense.  At  last  the  curtain  fell. 

"  Now  for  the  whole,"  said  John  Osborne,  as  he 
made  his  way  off  the  stage  over  a  heap  of  um 
brellas. 

' '  I  can't  think  why  the  lady  from  Philadelphia 
did  not  send  me  the  whole,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza, 
musing  over  the  letter. 

"  Listen,  the}7  are  guessing,"  said  John  Osborne. 
"  '  D-ice-box.'  I  don't  wonder  they  get  it  wrong." 

' '  But  we  know  it  can't  be  that ! "  exclaimed  Eliza 
beth  Eliza,  in  agony.  "  How  can  we  act  the  whole 
if  we  don't  know  it  ourselves?" 

"  Oh,  I  see  it ! "  said  Ann  Maria,  clapping  her 
hands.  "Get  your  whole  family  in  for  the  last 
scene." 


160  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  were  summoned  to  the 
stage,  and  formed  the  background,  standing  on 
stools ;  in  front  were  Agamemnon  and  Solomon 
John,  leaving  room  for  Elizabeth  Eliza  between ; 
a  little  in  advance,  and  in  front  of  all,  half  kneel 
ing,  were  the  little  boys  in  their  india-rubber 
boots. 

The  audience  rose  to  an  exclamation  of  delight, 
' '  The  Peterkins  ! "  "  P-Turk-Inns  ! " 

It  was  not  until  this  moment  that  Elizabeth  Eliza 
guessed  the  whole. 

"What  a  tableau!"  exclaimed  Mr.  Bromwick ; 
"  the  Peterkin  family  guessing  their  own  charade." 


THE  PETERKINS  ARE  OBLIGED  TO  MOVE.    161 


THE  PETERKINS  ARE  OBLIGED  TO  MOVE. 


AGAMEMXOX  had  long  felt  it  an  impropriety  to  live 
in  a  house  that  was  called  a  "  semi-detached"  house, 
when  there  was  no  other  ' '  semi "  to  it.  It  had 
always  remained  wholly  detached,  as  the  owner  had 
never  built  the  other  half.  Mrs.  Peterkin  felt  this 
was  not  a  sufficient  reason  for  undertaking  the 
terrible  process  of  a  move  to  another  house,  when 
they  were  fully  satisfied  with  the  one  they  were  in. 

But  a  more  powerful  reason  forced  them  to  go. 
The  track  of  a  new  railroad  had  to  be  carried 
directly  through  the  place,  and  a  station  was  to  be 
built  on  that  very  spot. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  so  much  dreaded  moving  that  she 
questioned  whether  they  could  not  continue  to  live 
in  the  upper  part  of  the  house  and  give  up  the  lower 
part  to  the  station.  They  could  then  dine  at  the 
restaurant,  and  it  would  be  very  convenient  about 
travelling,  as  there  would  be  no  danger  of  missing 
the  train,  if  one  were  sure  of  the  direction. 

But  Avhen  the  track  was  actually  laid  by  the  side 


162  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

of  the  house,  and  the  steam-engine  of  the  construc 
tion  train  puffed  and  screamed  under  the  dining- 
room  windows,  and  the  engineer  calmly  looked  in  to 
see  what  the  family  had  for  dinner,  she  felt  indeed 
that  they  must  move. 

But  where  should  they  go  ?  It  was  difficult  to  find 
a  house  that  satisfied  the  whole  family.  One  was 
too  far  off,  and  looked  into  a  tan-pit ;  another  was 
too  much  in  the  middle  of  the  town,  next  door  to 
a  machine-shop.  Elizabeth  Eliza  wanted  a  porch 
covered  with  vines,  that  should  face  the  sunset,  while 
Mr.  Peterkin  thought  it  would  not  be  convenient  to 
sit  there  looking  towards  the  west  in  the  late  after 
noon  (which  was  his  only  leisure  time) ,  for  the  sun 
would  shine  in  his  face.  Tho  little  boys  wanted  a 
house  with  a  great  many  doors,  so  that  the}'  could 
go  in  and  out  often.  But  Mr.  Peterkin  did  not  like 
so  much  slamming,  and  felt  there  was  more  danger 
of  burglars  with  so  msmy  doors.  Agamemnon 
wanted  an  observatory,  and  Solomon  John  a  shed 
for  a  workshop.  If  he  could  have  carpenters'  tools 
and  a  work-bench,  he  could  build  an  observatory,  if 
it  were  wanted. 

But  it  was  necessary  to  decide  upon  something, 
for  they  must  leave  their  house  directly.  So  they 
were  obliged  to  take  Mr.  Finch's  at  the  Corners.  It 
satisfied  none  of  the  famil}'.  The  porch  was  a 


THE  PETERKINS  ARE  OBLIGED  TO  MOVE.    163 

piazza,,  and  was  opposite  a  barn.  There  were  three 
other  doors, —  too  many  to  please  Mr.  Peterkin,  and 
not  enough  for  the  little  boys.  There  was  no  observ 
atory,  and  nothing  to  observe,  if  there  were  one,  as 
the  house  was  too  low,  and  some  high  trees  shut  out 
any  view.  Elizabeth  Eliza  had  hoped  for  a  view, 
but  Mr.  Peterkin  consoled  her  by  deciding  it  was 
more  health}'  to  have  to  walk  for  a  view,  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin  agreed  that  they  might  get  tired  of  the 
same  every  day. 

And  everybody  was  glad  a  selection  was  made, 
and  the  little  boys  carried  their  india-rubber  boots 
the  very  first  afternoon. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  wanted  to  have  some  system  in 
the  moving,  and  spent  the  evening  in  drawing  up 
a  plan.  It  would  be  easy  to  arrange  everything 
beforehand,  so  that  there  should  not  be  the  con 
fusion  that  her  mother  dreaded,  and  the  discomfort 
they  had  in  their  last  move.  Mrs.  Peterkiu  shook 
her  head ;  she  did  not  think  it  possible  to  move  with 
any  comfort.  Agamemnon  said  a  great  deal  could 
be  done  with  a  list  and  a  programme. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  declared  if  all  were  well  arranged 
a  programme  would  make  it  perfectly  easy.  They 
•were  to  have  new  parlor  carpets,  which  could  be  put 
down  in  the  new  house  the  first  thing.  Then  the 
parlor  furniture  could  be  moved  in,  and  there  would 


164  THE   PETERKIX   TAPERS. 

be  two  comfortable  rooms,  in  which  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Peterkin  could  sit,  while  the  rest  of  the  move  went 
on.  Then  the  old  parlor  carpets  could  be  taken  up 
for  the  new  dining-room  and  the  down-stairs  bed 
room,  and  the  family  could  meanwhile  dine  at  the 
old  house.  Mr.  Peterkin  did  not  object  to  this, 
though  the  distance  was  considerable,  as  he  felt 
exercise  would  be  good  for  them  all.  Elizabeth 
Eliza's  programme  then  arranged  that  the  dining- 
room  furniture  should  be  moved  the  third  day,  by 
which  tune  one  of  the  old  parlor  carpets  would  be 
down  in  the  new  dining-room,  and  they  could  still 
sleep  in  the  old  house.  Thus  there  would  always  be 
a  quiet,  comfortable  place  in  one  house  or  the  other. 
Each  night  when  Mr.  Peterkin  came  home,  he  would 
find  some  place  for  quiet  thought  and  rest,  and  each 
day  there  should  be  moved  only  the  furniture  needed 
for  a  certain  room.  Great  confusion  would  be 
avoided  and  nothing  misplaced.  Elizabeth  Eliza 
wrote  these  last  words  at  the  head  of  her  programme 
—  "  Misplace  nothing."  And  Agamemnon  made  a 
copy  of  the  programme  for  each  member  of  the  family. 
The  first  thing  to  be  done  was  to  buy  the  parlor 
carpets.  Elizabeth  Eliza  had  already  looked  at 
some  in  Boston,  and  the  next  morning  she  went, 
by  an  early  train,  with  her  father,  Agamemnon,  and 
Solomon  John,  to  decide  upon  them. 


THE   PETERKINS   ARE    OBLIGED   TO   MOVE.        165 

They  got  home  about  eleven  o'clock,  and  when 
they  reached  the  house  were  dismayed  to  find  two 
furniture  wagons  in  front  of  the  gate,  already 
partlj-  filled !  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  walking  in  and 
out  of  the  open  door,  a  large  book  in  one  hand,  and 
a  duster  in  the  other,  and  she  came  to  meet  them  in 
an  agony  of  anxiety.  What  should  they  do  ?  The 
furniture  carts  had  appeared  soon  after  the  rest  had 
left  for  Boston,  and  the  men  had  insisted  upon 
beginning  to  move  the  things.  In  vain  had  she 
shown  Elizabeth  Eliza's  programme,  in  vain  had  she 
insisted  they  must  take  only  the  parlor  furniture. 
They  had  declared  they  must  put  the  heavy  pieces 
in  the  bottom  of  the  cart,  and  the  lighter  furniture 
on  top.  So  she  had  seen  them  go  into  every  room 
in  the  house,  and  select  one  piece  of  furniture  after 
the  other,  without  even  looking  at  Elizabeth  Eliza's 
programme  ;  she  doubted  if  they  could  have  read  it, 
if  they  had  looked  at  it. 

Mr.  Peterkiu  had  ordered  the  carters  to  come,  but 
he  had  no  idea  they  would  come  so  early,  and  sup 
posed  it  would  take  them  a  long  time  to  fill  the  carts. 

But  they  had  taken  the  dining-room  sideboard 
first, —  a  heavy  piece  of  furniture, —  and  all  its  con 
tents  were  now  on  the  dining-room  tables.  Then, 
indeed,  they  selected  the  parlor  book-case,  but  had 
set  every  book  on  the  floor.  The  men  had  told 


166  THE  PETERKJN  PAPERS. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  they  would  put  the  books  in  the 
bottom  of  the  cart,  very  much  ia  the  order  they 
were  taken  from  the  shelves.  But  by  this  time 
Mrs.  Peterkiu  was  considering  the  carters  as  natural 
enemies,  and  dared  not  trust  them ;  besides,  the 
books  ought  all  to  bo  dusted.  So  she  was  now 
holding  one  of  the  volumes  of  Agamemnon's  Ency 
clopedia,  with  difficulty,  in  one  hand,  while  she  was 
dusting  it  with  the  other.  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  in 
dismay.  At  this  moment,  four  men  were  bringing 
down  a  large  chest  of  drawers  from  her  father's 
room  and  they  called  to  her  to  stand  out  of  the  way. 
The  parlors  were  a  scene  of  confusion.  In  dusting 
the  books  Mrs.  Peterkin  neglected  to  restore  them 
to  the  careful  rows  in  which  the}'  were  left  by  the 
men,  and  they  lay  in  hopeless  masses  in  different 
parts  of  the  room.  Elizabeth  Eliza  sunk  in  despair 
upon  the  end  of  a  sofa. 

' '  It  would  have  been  better  to  buy  the  red  and 
blue  carpet,"  said  Solomon  John. 

"  Is  not  the  carpet  bought?"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Pe 
terkin.  And  then  they  were  obliged  to  confess  they 
had  been  unable  to  decide  upon  one,  and  had  come 
back  to  consult  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"  What  shall  we  do?"  asked  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  rose  from  the  sofa  and  went  to  the 
door,  saying,  "  I  shall  be  back  in  a  moment." 


THE  PETERKINS  ARE  OBLIGED  TO  MOVE.    167 

Agamemnon  slowly  passed  round  the  room,  col 
lecting  the  scattered  volumes  of  his  Encyclopaedia. 
Mr.  Peterkin  offered  a  helping  hand  to  a  man  lifting 
a  wardrobe. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  soon  returned.  "I  did  not  like 
to  go  and  ask  her.  But  I  felt  that  I  must  in  such 
an  emergency.  I  explained  to  her  the  whole  matter, 
and  she  thinks  we  should  take  the  carpet  at  Makil- 
lan's." 

"Makillan's"  was  a  store  in  the  village,  and  the 
carpet  was  the  only  one  all  the  family  had  liked 
without  any  doubt;  but  they  had  supposed  they 
might  prefer  one  from  Boston. 

The  moment  was  a  critical  one.  Solomon  John 
was  sent  directly  to  Makillan's  to  order  the  carpet 
to  be  put  down  that  very  day.  But  where  should 
they  dine?  where  should  they  have  their  supper? 
where  was  Mr.  Peterkin's  "  quiet  hour"?  Elizabeth 
Eliza  was  frantic' — the  dining-room  floor  and  table 
were  covered  with  things. 

It  was  decided  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  should 
dine  at  the  Bromwicks,  who  had  been  most  neigh 
borly  in  their  offers,  and  the  rest  should  get  some 
thing  to  eat  at  the  baker's. 

Agamemnon  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  hastened  away 
to  be  ready  to  receive  the  carts  at  the  other  house, 
and  direct  the  furniture  as  they  could.  After  all, 


168  THE    PETERKJN    PAPEJIS. 

there  was  something  exhilarating  in  this  opening  of 
the  new  house,  and  in  deciding  where  things  should 
go.  Gayty  Elizabeth  Eliza  stepped  down  the  front 
garden  of  the  new  home,  and  across  the  piazza,  and 
to  the  door.  But  it  was  locked,  and  she  had  no  keys  I 

"Agamemnon,  did  you  bring  the  keys?"  she  ex 
claimed. 

No,  he  had  not  seen  them  since  the  morning  — 
when  —  ah  —  3-03,  the  little  boys  were  allowed  to  go 
to  the  house  for  their  india-rubber  boots,  as  there 
was  a  threatening  of  rain.  Perhaps  they  had  left 
some  door  unfastened  —  perhaps  they  had  put  the 
keys  under  the  door-mat.  No,  each  door,  each 
window  was  solidly  closed,  and  there  was  no  mat ! 

' '  I  shall  have  to  go  to  the  school  to  see  if  they 
took  the  keys  with  them,"  said  Agamemnon;  "or 
else  go  home  to  see  if  they  left  them  there."  The 
school  was  in  a  different  direction  from  the  house, 
and  far  at  the  other  end  of  the  town  ;  for  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  had  not  yet  changed  the  boys'  school,  as  he  pro 
posed  to  do  after  their  move. 

"  That  will  be  the  only  way,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza  ;  for  it  had  been  arranged  that  the  little  boys 
should  take  their  lunch  to  school,  and  not  come 
home  at  noon. 

She  sat  down  on  the  steps  to  wait,  but  only  for  a 
moment,  for  the  carts  soon  appeared,  turning  the 


THE  PETERKINS  ABE  OBLIGED  TO  MOVE.    169 

corner.  "What  should  be  done  with  the  furniture? 
Of  course,  the  carters  must  wait  for  the  keys,  as  she 
should  need  them  to  set  the  furniture  up  in  the  right 
places.  But  they  could  not  stop  for  this.  They  put 
it  down  upon  the  piazza,  on  the  steps,  in  the  garden, 
and  Elizabeth  Eliza  saw  how  incongruous  it  was ! 
There  was  something  from  every  room  in  the  house  ! 
Even  the  large  family  chest,  which  had  proved  too 
heavy  for  them  to  travel  with,  had  come  down  from 
tha  attic  and  stood  against  the  front  door. 

And  Solomon  John  appeared  with  the  carpet- 
woman,  and  a  boy  with  a  wheelbarrow  bringing  the 
new  carpet.  And  all  stood  and  waited.  Some  op 
posite  neighbors  appeared  to  offer  advice,  and  look 
on,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  groaned  inwardly  that  only 
the  shabbiest  of  their  furniture  appeared  to  be  stand 
ing  full  in  view. 

It  seemed  ages  before  Agamemnon  returned,  and 
no  wonder ;  for  he  had  been  to  the  house,  then  to 
the  school,  then  back  to  the  house,  for  one  of  the 
little  boys  had  left  the  keys  at  home,  in  the  pocket 
of  his  clothes.  Meanwhile,  the  carpet- woman  had 
waited,  and  the  boy  with  the  wheelbarrow  had 
waited,  and  when  they  got  in  they  found  the  parlor 
must  be  swept  and  cleaned.  So  the  carpet-woman 
went  off  in  dudgeon,  for  she  was  sure  there  would 
not  be  timo  enough  to  do  anything. 


170  THE    PETERKJN    PAPERS. 

And  one  of  the  carts  came  again,  and  in  their 
hurry  the  men  set  the  furniture  down  anywhere. 
Elizabeth  Eliza  was  hoping  to  make  a  little  place  in 
the  dining-room,  where  they  might  have  their  supper, 
and  go  home  to  sleep.  But  she  looked  out,  and 
there  were  the  carters  bringing  the  bedsteads,  and 
proceeding  to  carry  them  up- stairs. 

In  despair,  Elizabeth  Eliza  went  back  to  the  old 
house.  If  she  had  been  there  she  might  have  pre 
vented  this.  She  found  Mrs.  Pcterkiu  in  an  agony 
about  the  entry  oil-cloth.  It  had  been  made  in  the 
house,  and  how  could  it  be  taken  out  of  the  house? 
Agamemnon  made  measurements  ;  it  certainly  could 
not  go  out  of  the  front  door !  He  suggested  it  might 
be  left  till  the  house  was  pulled  down,  when  it  could 
easily  be  moved  out  of  one  side.  But  Elizabeth 
Eliza  reminded  him  that  the  whole  house  was  to  be 
moved  without  being  taken  apart.  Perhaps  it  could 
be  cut  in  strips  narrow  enough  to  go  out.  One  of 
the  men  loading  the  remaining  cart  disposed  of  the 
question  by  coming  in  and  rolling  up  the  oil-cloth 
and  carrying  it  off  on  top  of  his  wagon. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  felt  she  must  hurry  back  to  the 
new  house.  But  what  should  they  do? — no  beds 
here,  no  carpets  there  !  The  dining-room  table  and 
sideboard  were  at  the  other  house,  the  plates  and 
forks  and  spoons  here.  In  vain  she  looked  at  her 


THE  PETERKINS  ARE  OBLIGED  TO  MOVE.    171 

programme.  It  was  all  reversed ;  everything  was 
misplaced.  Mr.  Peterkin  would  suppose  they  were 
to  eat  here  and  sleep  here,  and  what  had  become 
of  the  little  boys  ? 

Meanwhile,  the  man  with  the  first  cart  had  re 
turned.  They  fell  to  packing  the  dining-room 
china. 

They  were  up  in  the  attic,  they  were  down  in  the 
cellar.  Even  one  suggested  to  take  the  tacks  out 
of  the  parlor  carpets,  as  they  should  want  to  take 
them  next.  Mrs.  Peterkin  sunk  upon  a  kitchen 
chair. 

"Oh,  I  wish  we  had  decided  to  stay  and  be 
moved  in  the  house  ! "  she  exclaimed. 

Solomon  John  urged  his  mother  to  go  to  the  new 
house,  for  Mr.  Peterkin  would  be  there  for  his 
"quiet  hour."  And  when  the  carters  at  last  ap 
peared,  carrying  the  parlor  carpets  on  their  shoul 
ders,  she  sighed  and  said,  "There  is  nothing  left," 
and  meekly  consented  to  be  led  away. 

The}r  reached  the  new  house  to  find  Mr.  Peterkin 
sitting  calmly  in  a  rocking-chair  on  the  piazza, 
watching  the  oxen  coming  into  the  opposite  barn. 
He  was  waiting  for  the  kej's,  which  Solomon  John 
had  taken  back  with  him.  The  little  boys  were  in  a 
horse-chestnut  tree,  at  the  side  of  the  house. 

Agamemnon  opened    the    door.      The  passages 


172  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

were  crowded  with  furniture,  the  floors  were  strewn 
with  books,  the  bureau  was  up-stairs  that  was  to 
stand  in  a  lower  bedroom,  there  was  not  a  place  to 
lay  a  table,  there  was  nothing  to  lay  upon  it ;  for 
the  knives  and  plates  and  spoons  had  not  come,  and 
although  the  tables  were  there,  they  were  covered 
with  chairs  and  boxes. 

At  this  moment  came  a  covered  basket  from  the 
lady  from  Philadelphia.  It  contained  a  choice 
supper,  and  .  forks  and  spoons,  and  at  the  same 
moment  appeared  a  pot  of  hot  tea  from  an  opposite 
neighbor.  They  placed  all  this  on  the  back  of  a 
book-case  lying  upset,  and  sat  around  it.  Solomon 
John  came  rushing  in  from  the  gate  : 

' '  The  last  load  is  coining.  We  are  all  moved ! " 
he  exclaimed ;  and  the  little  boys  joined  in  a 
chorus,  "  We  are  moved,  we  are  moved  !" 

Mrs.  Pctcrkin  looked  sadly  round ;  the  kitchen 
utensils  were  lying  on  the  parlor  lounge,  and  an  old 
family  gun  on  Elizabeth  Eliza's  hat-box.  The 
parlor  clock  stood  on  a  barrel ;  some  coal-scuttles 
had  been  placed  on  the  parlor  table,  a  bust  of 
Washington  stood  in  the  doorway,  and  the  looking- 
glasses  leaned  against  the  pillars  of  the  piazza. 
]>ut  they  were  moved!  Mrs.  Peterkin  felt  indeed 
that  they  were  very  much  moved. 


THE    FETERKINS    STUDY  THE   LANGUAGES.         173 


THE  FETERKINS  DECIDE  TO  LEARN  THE 
LANGUAGES. 


CERTAINLY  now  was  the  time  to  study  the  lan 
guages.  The  Peterkins  had  moved  into  a  new  house, 
far  more  convenient  than  their  old  one,  where  they 
would  have  a  place  for  everything  and  everything  in 
its  place.  Of  course  they  would  then  have  more 
time. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  recalled  the  troubles  of  the  old 
house,  how  for  a  long  time  she  was  obliged  to  sit 
outside  of  the  window  upon  the  piazza,  when  she 
wanted  to  play  on  her  piano. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  reminded  them  of  the  difficulty 
about  the  table-cloths.  The  upper  table-cloth  was 
kept  in  a  trunk  that  had  to  stand  in  front  of  the 
door  to  the  closet  under  the  stairs.  But  the  under 
table-cloth  was  kept  in  a  drawer  in  the  closet.  So, 
whenever  the  cloths  were  changed,  the  trunk  had  to 
be  pushed  away  under  some  projecting  shelves  to 
make  room  for  opening  the  closet-door  (as  the  under 
table-cloth  must  betaken  out  first),  then  the  trunk 


174  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

was  pushed  back  to  make  room  for  it  to  be  opened 
for  the  upper  table-cloth,  and,  after  all,  it  was  neces 
sary  to  push  the  trunk  away  again  to  open  the  closet- 
door  for  the  knife-tray.  This  always  consumed  a 
great  deal  of  time. 

Now  that  the  china-closet  was  large  enough, 
everything  could  find  a  place  in  it. 

Agamemnon  especially  enjoyed  the  new  library. 
In  the  old  house  there  was  no  separate  room  for 
books.  The  dictionaries  were  kept  up-stairs,  which 
was  very  inconvenient,  and  the  volumes  of  the  Ency 
clopaedia  could  not  be  together.  There  was  not 
room  for  all  in  one  place.  So  from  A  to  P  were  to 
be  found  down-stairs,  and  from  Q  to  Z  were  scattered 
in  different  rooms  up-stairs.  And  the  worst  of  it 
was,  you  could  never  remember  whether  from  A  to 
P  included  P.  "I  always  went  up-stairs  after  P," 
said  Agamemnon,  "  and  then  always  found  it  down 
stairs,  or  else  it  was  the  other  way." 

Of  course  now  there  were  more  conveniences  for 
study.  With  the  books  all  in  one  room,  there  would 
be  no  time  wasted  in  looking  for  them. 

Mr.  Peterkin  suggested  they  should  each  take  a 
separate  language.  If  the}*  went  abroad,  this  would 
prove  a  great  convenience.  Elizabeth  Eliza  could 
talk  French  with  the  Parisians ;  Agamemnon,  Ger 
man  with  the  Germans  ;  Solomon  John,  Italian  with 


THE   PETERKINS   STUDY  THE   LANGUAGES.         175 

the  Italians  ;  Mrs.  Peterkin,  Spanish  in  Spain ;  and, 
perhaps  he  could  himself  master  all  the  Eastern 
languages  and  Russian. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  uncertain  about  undertaking 
the  Spanish,  but  all  the  family  felt  very  sure  they 
should  not  go  to  Spain  (as  Elizabeth  Eliza  dreaded 
the  Inquisition) ,  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  felt  more  willing. 

Still  she  had  quite  an  objection  to  going  abroad. 
She  had  always  said  she  would  not  go  till  a  bridge 
was  made  across  the  Atlantic,  and  she  was  sure  it 
did  not  look  like  it  now. 

Agamemnon  said  there  was  no  knowing.  There 
was  something  new  every  da}',,  and  a  bridge  was 
surely  not  harder  to  invent  than  a  telephone,  for 
they  had  bridges  in  the  very  earliest  days. 

Then  came  up  the  question  of  the  teachers. 
Probably  these  could  be  found  in  Boston.  If  they 
could  all  come  the  same  day,  three  could  be  brought 
out  in  the  carryall.  Agamemnon  could  go  in  for 
them,  and  could  learn  a  little  on  the  way  out  and  in. 

Mr.  Peterkin  made  some  inquiries  about  the  Ori 
ental  languages.  He  was  told  that  Sanscrit  was  at 
the  root  of  all.  So  he  proposed  they  should  all 
begin  with  Sanscrit.  They  would  thus  require  but 
one  teacher,  and  could  branch  out  into  the  other 
languages  afterward. 

But  the   family  preferred  learning  the   separate 


176  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

languages.  Elizabeth  Eliza  already  knew  some 
thing  of  the  French.  She  had  tried  to  talk  it,  with 
out  much  success,  at  the  Centennial  Exhibition,  at 
one  of  the  side-stands.  But  she  found  she  had  been 
talking  with  a  Moorish  gentleman  who  did  not 
understand  French.  Mr.  Peterkin  feared  they  might 
need  more  libraries,  if  all  the  teachers  came  at  the 
same  hour ;  but  Agamemnon  reminded  him  that  they 
would  be  using  different  dictionaries.  And  l\Ir. 
Peterkin  thought  something  might  be  learned  l>y 
having  them  all  at  once.  Each  one  might  pick  up 
something  beside  the  language  he  was  studying,  and 
it  was  a  great  thing  to  learn  to  talk  a  foreign  lan 
guage  while  others  were  talking  about  }~ou.  Mrs. 
Peterkin  was  afraid  it  would  be  like  the  Tower  of 
Babel,  and  hoped  it  was  all  right. 

Agamemnon  brought  forward  another  difficult}'. 
Of  course  they  ought  to  have  foreign  teachers,  who 
spoke  only  their  native  languages.  But,  in  this 
case,  how  could  they  engage  them  to  come,  or 
explain  to  them  about  the  carryall,  or  arrange  the 
proposed  hours  ?  He  did  not  understand  how  any 
body  ever  began  with  a  foreigner,  because  he  could 
not  even  tell  him  what  he  wanted. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  thought  a  great  deal  might  be  done 
by  signs  and  pantomime.  Solomon  John  and  the 
little  bo}*s  began  to  show  how  it  might  be  done. 


THE   PETERKIXS   STUDY  THE   LANGUAGES.         177 

Elizabeth  Eliza  explained  how  "langues"  meant 
both  "languages"  and  "tongues,"  and  they  could\ 
point  to  their  tongues.  For  practice,  the  little  boys 
represented  the  foreign  teachers  talking  in  their 
different  languages,  and  Agamemnon  and  Solomon 
John  went  to  invite  them  to  come  out,  and  teach  the 
family,  by  a  series  of  signs. 

Mr.  Peterkin  thought  their  success  was  admirable, 
and  that  they  might  almost  go  abroad  without  any 
stud}'  of  the  languages,  and  trust  to  explaining 
themselves  by  signs.  Still,  as  the  bridge  was  not 
yet  made,  it  might  be  as  well  to  wait  and  cultivate 
the  languages. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  afraid  the  foreign  teachers 
might  imagine  the}'  were  invited  out  to  lunch.  Solo 
mon  John  had  constantly  pointed  to  his  mouth  as  he 
opened  it  and  shut  it,  putting  out  his  tongue  ;  and  it 
looked  a  great  deal  more  as  if  he  were  inviting  them 
to  eat,  than  asking  them  to  teach.  Agamemnon 
suggested  that  they  might  carry  the  separate  diction 
aries  when  they  went  to  see  the  teachers,  and  that 
would  show  that  they  meant  lessons  and  not  lunch. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  not  sure  but  she  ought  to  pre 
pare  a  lunch  for  them,  if  they  had  come  all  that  way ; 
but  she  certainly  did  not  know  what  they  were 
accustomed  to  eat. 

Mr.  Peterkin  thought  this  would  be  a  good  thing 


178  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

to  learn  of  the  foreigners.  It  would  be  a  good 
/preparation  for  going  abroad,  and  they  might  get 
used  to  the  dishes  before  starting.  The  little  bo}'s 
were  delighted  at  the  idea  of  having  new  things 
cooked.  Agamemnon  had  heard  that  beer-soup  was 
a  favorite  dish  with  the  Germans,  and  he  would 
inquire  how  it  was  made  in  the  first  lesson.  Solo 
mon  John  had  heard  they  were  all  very  fond  of 
garlic,  and  thought  it  would  be  a  prett}*  attention  to 
have  some  in  the  house  the  first  day,  that  they  might 
be  cheered  by  the  odor. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  wanted  to  surprise  the  lady  from 
Philadelphia  by  her  knowledge  of  French,  and  hoped 
to  begin  on  her  lessons  before  the  Philadelphia 
famil}-  arrived  for  their  annual  visit. 

There  were  still  some  delays.  Mr.  Peterkin  was 
very  anxious  to  obtain  teachers  who  had  been  but  a 
short  time  in  this  countrj'.  He  did  not  want  to  be 
tempted  to  talk  any  English  with  them.  He  wanted 
the  latest  and  freshest  languages,  and  at  last  came 
home  one  day  with  a  list  of  "brand-new  foreign 
ers." 

They  decided  to  borrow  the  Bromwicks'  carryall, 
to  use,  beside  their  own,  for  the  first  day,  and  Mr. 
Peterkin  and  Agamemnon  drove  into  town  to  bring 
all  the  teachers  out.  One  wa$  a  Russian  gentleman, 
travelling,  who  came  with  no  idea  of  giving  lessons, 


THE   PETEUKINS   STUDY  THE   LANGUAGES.        179 

but  perhaps  he  would  consent  to  do  so.  He  could 
not  yet  speak  English. 

Mr.  Peterkin  had  his  card-case,  and  the  cards  of 
the  several  gentlemen  who  had  recommended  the 
different  teachers,  and  he  went  with  Agamemnon 
from  hotel  to  hotel  collecting  them.  He  found  them 
all  very  polite,  and  ready  to  come,  after  the  explana 
tion  by  signs  agreed  upon.  The  dictionaries  had 
been  forgotten,  but  Agamemnon  had  a  directory, 
which  looked  the  same,  and  seemed  to  satisfy  the 
foreigners. 

Mr.  Peterkin  was  obliged  to  content  himself  with 
the  Russian  instead  of  one  who  could  teach  Sanscrit, 
as  there  was  no  new  teacher  of  that  language  lately 
arrived. 

But  there  was  an  unexpected  difficulty  in  getting 
the  Russian  gentleman  into  the  same  carriage  with 
the  teacher  of  Arabic,  for  he  was  a  Turk,  sitting 
with  a  fez  on  his  head,  on  the  back  seat !  They 
glared  at  each  other,  and  began  to  assail  each  other 
in  every  language  they  knew,  none  of  which  Mr. 
Peterkin  could  understand.  It  might  be  Russian,  it 
might  be  Arabic.  It  was  easy  to  understand  that 
they  would  never  consent  to  sit  in  the  same  car 
riage.  Mr.  Peterkin  was  in  despair;  he  had  for 
gotten  about  the  Russian  war !  What  a  mistake  to 
have  invited  the  Turk  ! 


180  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Quite  a  crowd  collected  on  the  sidewalk  in  fron 
of  the  hotel.  But  the  French  gentleman  politely, 
but  stiffly,  invited  the  Russian  to  go  with  him  in  the 
first  canyall.  Here  was  another  difficult}^.  For 
the  German  professor  was  quietly  ensconced  on  the 
back  seat !  As  soon  as  the  French  gentleman  put 
his  foot  on  the  step  and  saw  him,  he  addressed  him 
in  such  forcible  language  that  the  German  professor 
got  out  of  the  door  the  other  side,  and  came  round 
on  the  sidewalk,  and  took  him  by  the  collar.  Cer 
tainly  the  German  and  French  gentlemen  could  not 
be  put  together,  and  more  crowd  collected  ! 

Agamemnon,  however,  had  happily  studied  up  the 
German  word  "  Herr,"  and  he  applied  it  to  the  Ger 
man,  inviting  him  by  signs  to  take  a  seat  in  the 
other  carryall.  The  German  consented  to  sit  by  the 
Turk,  as  the}'  neither  of  them  could  understand  the 
other ;  and  at  last  the}'  started,  Mr.  Peterkin  with 
the  Italian  by  his  side,  and  the  French  and  Russian 
teachers  behind,  vociferating  to  each  other  in  lan 
guages  unknown  to  Mr.  Peterkin,  while  ho  feared 
they  were  not  perfectly  in  harmony,  so  he  drove  home 
as  fast  as  possible.  Agamemnon  had  a  silent  party. 
The  Spaniard  by  his  side  was  a  little  moody,  while 
the  Turk  and  the  German  behind  did  not  utter  a 
word. 

At  last  they  reached  the  house,  and  were  greeted 


THE    PETERKINS    STUDY   THE   LANGUAGES .         181 

by  Mrs.  Peterkin  and  Elizabeth  Eliza,  Mrs.  Peterkin 
with  her  llama  lace  shawl  over  lier  shoulders,  as  a 
tribute  to  the  Spanish  teacher.  Mr.  Peterkin  was 
careful  to  take  his  party  in  first,  and  deposit  them  in 
a  distant  part  of  the  library,  far  from  the  Turk  or 
the  German,  even  putting  the  Frenchman  and  Rus 
sian  apart. 

Solomon  John  found  the  Italian  dictionary,  and 
seated  himself  by  his  Italian ;  Agamemnon,  with 
the  German  dictionary,  by  the  German.  The  little 
boys  took  their  copy  of  the  "Arabian  Nights"  to 
the  Turk.  Mr.  Peterkin  attempted  to  explain  to  the 
Russian  that  he  had  no  Russian  dictionary,  as  he 
had  hoped  to  learn  Sanscrit  of  him,  while  Mrs. 
Peterkin  was  trying  to  inform  her  teacher  that  she 
had  no  books  in  Spanish.  She  got  over  all  fears  of 
the  Inquisition,  he  looked  so  sad,  and  she  tried  to 
talk  a  little,  using  English  words,  but  very  slowly, 
and  altering  the  accent  as  far  as  she  knew  how. 
The  Spaniard  bowed,  looked  gravely  interested,  and 
was  very  polite. 

Elizabeth  Eliza,  meanwhile,  was  trying  her  gram 
mar  phrases  with  the  Parisian.  She  found  it  easier 
to  talk  French  than  to  understand  him.  But  he 
understood  perfectly  her  sentences.  She  repeated 
one  of  her  vocabularies,  and  went  on  with  —  "  J'ai 
le  lime"  "  As-tu  le  pain?"  "  L' enfant  a  une 


182  THE   PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

poire"  He  listened  with  great  attention,  and  re 
plied  slowly.  Suddenly  she  started  after  making 
out  one  of  his  sentences,  and  went  to  her  mother  to 
whisper,  "  They  have  made  the  mistake  }'ou  feared. 
They  think  they  are  invited  to  lunch !  He  has  just 
been  thanking  me  for  our  politeness  in  inviting  them 
to  dejeuner, —  that  means  breakfast ! " 

' '  They  have  not  had  their  breakfast ! "  exclaimed 
Mrs.  Peterkin,  looking  at  her  Spaniard;  "he  does 
look  hungry  !  What  shall  we  do  ?  " 

Elizabeth  Eliza  was  consulting  her  father.  What 
should  they  do  ?  How  should  the}7  make  them  under 
stand  that  they  invited  them  to  teach,  not  lunch. 
Elizabeth  Eliza  begged  Agamemnon  to  look  out 
"  apprendre"  in  the  dictionary.  It  must  mean  to 
teach.  Alas,  they  found  it  means  both  to  teach  and 
to  learn !  What  should  they  do  ?  The  foreigners 
were  now  sitting  silent  in  their  different  corners. 
The  Spaniard  grew  more  and  more  sallow.  What 
if  he  should  faint?  The  Frenchman  was  rolling  up 
each  of  his  mustaches  to  a  point  as  he  gazed  at  the 
German.  What  if  the  Russian  should  fight  the 
Turk?  What  if  the  German  should  be  exasperated 
by  the  airs  of  the  Parisian  ? 

"We  must  give  them  something  to  eat,"  said 
Mr.  Peterkin,  in  a  low  tone.  "It  would  calm 
them." 


THE    PETERKESTS    STUDY   THE   LANGUAGES.         183 

"  If  I  only  knew  what  they  were  used  to  eating," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

Solomon  John  suggested  that  none  of  them  knew 
what  the  others  were  used  to  eating,  and  they  might 
bring  in  anything. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  hastened  out  with  hospitable  intents. 
Amanda  could  make  good  coffee.  Mr.  Peterkin  had 
suggested  some  American  dish.  Solomon  John  sent 
a  little  boy  for  some  olives. 

It  was  not  long  before  the  coffee  came  in,  and  a 
dish  of  baked  beans.  Next,  some  olives  and  a  loaf 
of  bread,  and  some  boiled  eggs,  and  some  bottles 
of  beer.  The  effect  was  astonishing.  Every  man 
spoke  his  own  tongue,  and  fluently.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
poured  out  coffee  for  the  Spaniard,  while  he  bowed 
to  her.  They  all  liked  beer,  they  all  liked  olives. 
The  Frenchman  was  fluent  about  "les  mceurs  Ameri- 
cdines."  Elizabeth  Eliza  supposed  he  alluded  to 
their  not  having  set  any  table.  The  Turk  smiled, 
the  Russian  was  voluble.  In  the  midst  of  the  clang 
of  the  different  languages,  just  as  Mr.  Peterkiu  was 
again  repeating,  under  cover  of  the  noise  of  many 
tongues,  "  How  shall  we  make  them  understand  that 
we  want  them  to  teach  ?  " —  at  this  very  moment  — 
the  door  was  flung  open,  and  there  came  in  the  lady 
from  Philadelphia,  that  day  arrived,  her  first  call  of 
the  season ! 


184  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

She  started  back  in  terror  at  the  tumult  of  so 
many  different  languages !  The  family,  with  joy, 
rushed  to  meet  her.  All  together  they  called  upon 
her  to  explain  for  them.  Could  she  help  them? 
Could  she  tell  the  foreigners  they  wanted  to  take 
lessons !  Lessons  ?  They  had  no  sooner  uttered 
the  word  than  their  guests  all  started  up  with  faces 
beaming  with  joy.  It  was  the  one  English  word 
they  all  knew !  They  had  come  to  Boston  to  give 
lessons  !  The  Russian  traveller  had  hoped  to  learn 
English  in  this  way.  The  thought  pleased  them 
more  than  the  dejeuner.  Yes,  gladly  would  they 
give  lessons.  The  Turk  smiled  at  the  idea.  The 
first  step  was  taken.  The  teachers  knew  they  were 
expected  to  teach. 


MODERN   IMPROVEMENTS   AT   THE   PEtERKINS'.    185 


MODERN  IMPROVEMENTS  AT  THE  PETER- 
KINS'. 


AGAMEMNON  felt  that  it  became  necessary  for  him 
to  choose  a  profession.  It  was  important  on  ac 
count  of  the  little  boys.  If  he  should  make  a  trial 
of  several  different  professions,  he  could  find  out 
which  would  be  the  most  likely  to  be  successful,  and 
it  would  then  be  easy  to  bring  up  the  little  bo}*s  in 
the  right  direction. 

Elizabeth  P^liza  agreed  with  this.  She  thought  the 
family  occasionally  made  mistakes,  and  had  come 
near  disgracing  themselves.  Now  was  their  chance 
to  avoid  this  in  future,  by  giving  the  little  boys  a 
proper  education. 

Solomon  John  was  almost  determined  to  bscomo 
a  doctor.  From  earliest  childhood  he  had  practised 
writing  recipes  on  little  slips  of  paper.  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin,  to  be  sure,  was  afraid  of  infection.  She  could 
not  bear  the  idea  of  his  bringing  one  disease  after 
the  other  into  the  family  circle.  Solomon  John,  too, 
did  not  like  sick  people.  He  thought  he  might 


186  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

manage  it,  if  he  should  not  have  to  see  his  patients 
while  they  were  sick.  If  he  could  only  visit  them 
when  they  were  recovering,  and  when  the  danger  of 
infection  was  over,  he  would  really  enjoy  making 
calls. 

He  should  have  a  comfortable  doctor's  chaise,  and 
take  one  of  the  little  boj's  to  hold  his  horse  while  he 
went  in,  and  he  thought  he  could  get  through  the 
conversational  part  very  well,  and  feeling  the  pulse, 
perhaps  looking  at  the  tongue.  He  should  take  and 
read  all  the  newspapers,  and  so  be  thoroughly 
acquainted  with  the  news  of  the  &&y  to  talk  of.  But 
he  should  not  like  to  be  waked  up  at  night  to  visit. 
Mr.  Petcrkin  thought  that  would  not  be  necessary, 
lie  had  seen  signs  on  doors  of  "Night  Doctor,"  and 
certainly  it  would  be  as  convenient  to  have  a  sign  of 
"  Not  a  Night  Doctor." 

Solomon  John  thought  he  might  write  his  advice 
to  those  of  his  patients  who  were  dangerously  ill, 
from  whom  there  was  danger  of  infection.  And  then 
Elizabeth  Eliza  agreed  that  his  prescriptions  would 
probably  be  so  satisfactory  that  they  would  keep  his 
patients  well,  not  too  well  to  do  without  a  doctor, 
but  needing  his  recipes. 

Agamemnon  was  delayed,  however,  in  his  choice 
of  a  profession,  by  a  desire  he  had  to  become  a 
famous  inventor.  If  he  could  only  invent  something 


MODERN   IMPROVEMENTS   AT   THE   PETERKINS*.    187 

important,  and  get  out  a  patent,  he  would  make  him 
self  known  all  over  the  country.  If  he  could  get 
out  a  patent,  he  would  be  set  up  for  life,  or  at  least 
as  long  as  the  patent  lasted,  and  it  would  be  well  to. 
be  sure  to  arrange  it  to  last  through  his  natural  life. 

Indeed,  he  had  gone  so  far  as  to  make  his  inven 
tion.  It  had  been  suggested  by  their  trouble  with  a 
ke}r,  in  their  late  moving  to  their  new  house.  He 
had  studied  the  matter  over  a  great  deal.  He  looked 
it  up  in  the  Encyclopaedia,  and  had  spent  a  day  or 
two  in  the  Public  Library,  in  reading  about  Chubb's 
Lock,  and  other  patent  locks. 

But  his  plan  was  more  simple.  It  was  this  :  that 
all  keys  should  be  made  alike !  He  wondered  it  had 
not  been  thought  of  before,  but  so  it  was,  Solomon 
John  said,  with  all  inventions,  with  Christopher 
Columbus,  and  everybody.  Nobody  knew  the  inven 
tion  till  it  was  invented,  and  then  it  looked  very 
simple.  With  Agamemnon's  plan,  you  need  have 
but  one  key,  that  should  fit  everything !  It  should 
be  a  medium-sized  keyx  not  too  large  to  cany.  It 
ought  to  answer  for  a  house  door,  but  you  might 
open  a  portmanteau  with  it.  How  much  less  danger 
there  would  be  of  losing  one's  keys,  if  there  were 
only  one  to  lose  ! 

Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  it  would  be  inconvenient  if 
their  father  were  out,  and  she  wanted  to  open  the 


188  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

jam-closet  for  the  little  boys.  But  Agamemnon  ex 
plained  that  he  did  not  mean  there  should  be  but 
one  key  in  the  family,  or  in  a  town, — you  might 
have  as  many  as  you  pleased, — only  they  should  all 
be  alike. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  felt  it  would  be  a  great  conven 
ience — they  could  keep  the  front  door  always  locked, 
yet  she  could  open  it  with  the  key  of  her  upper 
drawer ;  that  she  was  sure  to  have  with  her.  And 
Mrs.  Peterkin..  felt  it  might  be  a  convenience  if  they 
had  one  on  each  story,  so  that  they  need  not  go  up 
and  down  for  it. 

Mr.  Peterkin  studied  all  the  papers  and  advertise 
ments,  to  decide  about  the  lawyer  whom  they  should 
consult,  and  at  last,  one  morning,  they  went  into 
town. to  visit  a  patent-agent. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  took  the  occasion  to  make  a  call 
upon  the  lady  from  Philadelphia,  but  she  came  back 
hurriedly  to  her  mother. 

"I  have  had  a  delightful  call,"  she  said,  "but, 
perhaps  I  was  wrong,  I  could  not  help,  in  conversa 
tion,  speaking  of  Agamemnon's  proposed  patent.  I 
ought  not  to  have  mentioned  it,  as  such  things  are 
kept  profound  secrets ;  they  say  women  always  do 
tell  things,  I  suppose  that  is  the  reason." 

"  But  where  is  the  harm?"  asked  Mrs.  Peterkin. 
"I'm  sure  you  can  trust  the  lady  from  Philadel 
phia  ! " 


MODERN    IMPROVEMENTS   AT   THE    PETERKINS'.    189 

Elizabeth  Eliza  then  explained  that  the  lady  from 
Philadelphia  had  questioned  the  plan  a  little,  when 
it  was  told  her,  and  had  suggested  that  "if  every 
body  had  the  same  key  there  would  be  no  particular 
use  in  a  lock." 

"Did  you  explain  to  her,"  said  Mrs.  Pcterkin, 
' '  that  we  were  not  all  to  have  the  same  keys  ?  " 

"  I  couldn't  quite  understand  her,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza,  ' '  but  she  seemed  to  think  that  burglars  and 
other  people  might  come  in,  if  the  keys  were  the 

same." 

• 

"Agamemnon  would  not  sell  his  patent  to  burg 
lars  !  "  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  indignantly. 

" But  about  other  people,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza; 
' '  there  is  my  upper  drawer ;  the  little  boys  might 
open  it  at  Christmas-time, —  and  their  presents 
in  it ! " 

"  And  I  am  not  sure  that  I  could  trust  Amanda," 
said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  considering. 

Both  she  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  felt  that  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  ought  to  know  what  the  lady  from  Philadelphia 
had  suggested.  Elizabeth  Eliza  then  proposed  going 
into  town,  but  it  would  take  so  long,  she  might  not 
reach  them  in  time.  A  telegram  would  be  better, 
and  she  ventured  to  suggest  using  the  Telegraph 
Alarm. 

For,  on  moving  into  their  new  house,  they  had 


190  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

discovered  it  was  provided  with  all  the  modern  im 
provements.  This  had  been  a  disappointment  to 
Mrs.  Petcrkin,  for  she  was  afraid  of  them,  since  their 
experience  the  last  winter,  when  their  water-pipes 
were  frozen  up.  She  had  been  originally  attracted 
to  the  house  by  an  old  pump  at  the  side,  which  had 
led  her  to  believe  there  were  no  modern  improve 
ments.  It  had  pleased  the  little  boys,  too.  They 
liked  to  pump  the  handle  up  and  down,  and  agreed 
to  pump  all  the  water  needed,  and  bring  it  into  the 
house. 

There  was  also  an  old  well,  with  a  picturesque 
well-sweep,  in  a  corner  by  the  barn.  Mrs.  Peterkiu 
was  frightened  by  this,  at  first.  §he  was  afraid  the 
little  bo}'s  would  be  falling  in  every  day.  And  they 
showed  great  fondness  for  pulling  the  bucket  up  and 
down.  It  proved,  however,  that  the  well  was  dry. 
There  was  no  water  in  it,  so  she  had  some  moss 
thrown  down,  and  an  old  feather-bed,  for  safety,  and 
the  old  well  was  a  favorite  place  of  amusement. 

The  house,  it  had  proved,  was  well  furnished  with 
bath-rooms,  and  "  set- waters, "  eveiy where.  Water- 
pipes  and  gas-pipes  all  over  the  house  ;  and  a  hack-, 
telegraph-,  and  fire-alarm,  with  a  little  knob  for 
each. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  very  anxious.  She  feared  the 
little  bo3rs  would  be  summoning  somebody  all  the 


MODERN   IMPROVEMENTS    AT    THE    TETERKINS'.    191 

time,  and  it  was  decided  to  conceal  from  them  the 
use  of  the  knobs,  and  the  card  of  directions  at  the 
side  was  destroyed.  Agamemnon  had  made  one  of 
his  first  inventions  to  help  this.  He  had  arranged  a 
number  of  similar  knobs  to  be  put  in  rows  in  different 
parts  of  the  house,  to  appear  as  if  they  were  intended 
for  ornament,  and  had  added  some  to  the  original 
knobs.  Mrs.  Peterkin  felt  more  secure,  and  Aga 
memnon  thought  of  taking  out  a  patent  for  this  inven 
tion. 

It  was,  therefore,  with  some  doubt  that  Elizabeth 
Eliza  proposed  sending  a  telegram  to  her  father. 
Mrs.  Peterkin,  however,  was  pleased  with  the  idea. 
Solomon  John  was  out,  and  the  little  boys  were  at 
school,  and  she  herself  would  touch  the  knob,  while 
Elizabeth  Eliza  should  write  the  telegram. 

' '  I  think  it  is  the  fourth  knob  from  the  begin 
ning,"  she  said,  looking  at  one  of  the  rows  of  knobs. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  was  sure  of  this.  Agamemnon, 
she  believed,  had  put  three  extra  knobs  at  each  end. 

"  But  which  is  the  end,  and  which  is  the  beginning 
—  the  top  or  the  bottom?"  Mrs.  Peterkin  asked, 
hopelessly. 

Still  she  bravely  selected  a  knob,  and  Elizabeth 
Eliza  hastened  with  her  to  look  out  for  the  mes 
senger.  How  soon  should  they  see  the  telegraph 
boy? 


192  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

The3r  seemed  to  have  scarcely  reached  the  window, 
when  a  terrible  noise  was  heard,  and  down  the  shady 
street  the  white  horses  of  the  fire  brigade  were  seen 
rushing  at  a  fatal  speed  ! 

It  was  a  terrific  moment ! 

"I  have  touched  the  fire-alarm,"  Mrs.  Peterkin 
exclaimed. 

Both  rushed  to  open  the  front  door  in  agon}'.  By 
this  time,  the  fire-engines  were  approaching. 

"  Do  not  be  alarmed,"  said  the  chief  engineer, 
"the  furniture  shall  be  carefully  covered,  and  we 
will  move  all  that  is  necessary." 

"  Move  again ! "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Peterkin,  in 
agony. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  strove  to  explain  that  she  was 
only  sending  a  telegram  to  her  father,  who  was  in 
Boston. 

"It  is  not  important,"  said  the  head  engineer, 
"  the  fire  will  all  be  out  before  it  could  reach  him." 

And  he  ran  up-stairs,  for  the  engines  were  begin 
ning  to  play  upon  the  roof. 

Mrs.  Peterkiu  rushed  to  the  knobs  again,  hurriedly  ; 
there  was  more  necessity  for  summoning  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  home. 

"  Write  a  telegram  to  your  father,"  she  said  to 
Elizabeth  Eliza,  "  to  '  come  home  directly.'" 

"  That  will  take  but  three  words,"  said  Elizabeth 


MODERN   IMPROVEMENTS   AT   THE   PETERKINS*.     193 

Eliza,  with  presence  of  mind,  "  and  we  need  ten.  I 
was  just  trying  to  make  them  out." 

4i  What  has  come  now?  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Peterkin, 
and  they  hurried  again  to  the  window,  to  see  a  row 
of  carriages  coming  down  the  street. 

"  I  must  have  touched  the  carriage-knob,"  cried 
Mrs.  Peterkiu,  "  and  I  pushed  it  half  a  dozen  times, 
I  felt  so  anxious  !  " 

Six  hacks  stood  before  the  door.  All  the  village 
bo}'s  were  assembling.  Even  their  own  little  bo}'s 
had  returned  from  school,  and  were  showing  the  fire 
men  the  way  to  the  well. 

Again  Mrs.  Peterkin  rushed  to  the  knobs,  and  a 
fearful  sound  arose.  She  had  touched  the  burglar 
alarm ! 

The  former  owner  of  the  house,  who  had  a  great 
fear  of  burglars,  had  invented  a  machine  of  his  own, 
which  he  had  connected  with  a  knob.  A  wire  at 
tached  to  the  knob  moved  a  spring  that  could  put  in 
motion  a  number  .of  watchman's  rattles,  hidden 
under  the  eaves  of  the  piazza. 

All  these  were  now  set  a-going,  and  their  terrible 
din  roused  those  of  the  neighborhood  who  had  not 
before  assembled  around  the  house.  At  this  moment, 
Elizabeth  Eliza  met  the  chief  engineer. 

"  You  need  not  send  for  more  help,"  he  said ; 
"we  have  all  the  engines  in  town  here,  and  have 


194  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

stirred  up  all  the  towns  in  the  neighborhood  ;  there's 
no  use  in  springing  any  more  alarms.  I  can't  find 
the  fire  yet,  but  we  have  water  pouring  all  over  the 
house." 

Elizabeth  Eliza  waved  her  telegram  in  the  air. 

"We  are  only  trj-ing  to  send  a  telegram  to  my 
father  and  brother,  who  are  in  town,"  she  endeavored 
to  explain. 

"  If  it  is  necessary,"  said  the  chief  engineer,  "  you 
might  send  it  down  in  one  of  the  hackney  carriages. 
I  see  a  number  standing  before  the  door.  Wo  '<! 
better  begin  to  move  the  heavier  furniture,  and  some 
of  you  women  might  fill  the  carriages  with  smaller 
things." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  ready  to  fall  into  hysterics. 
She  controlled  herself  with  a  supreme  power,  and 
hastened  to  touch  another  knob. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  corrected  her  telegram,  and  decided 
to  take  the  advice  of  the  chief  engineer,  and  went  to 
the  door  to  give  her  message  to  .one  of  the  hackmeu, 
when  she  saw  a  telegraph  boy  appear.  Her  mother 
had  touched  the  right  knob.  It  was  the  fourth  from 
the  beginning,  but  the  beginning  was  at  the  other 
end! 

She  went  out  to  meet  the  bo}',  when,  to  her  joy, 
she  saw  behind  him  her  father  and  Agamemnon. 
She  clutched  her  telegram,  and  hurried  toward  them. 


MODERN   MPROVEJIENTS   AT   THE   PETERKINS*.    195 

Mr.  Peterkin  was  bewildered.  "Was  the  house  on 
fire?  If  so,  where  were  the  flames? 

He  saw  the  row  of  carriages.  Was  there  a  funeral, 
or  a  wedding?  Who  was  dead?  Who  was  to  be 
married  ? 

He  seized  the  telegram  that  Elizabeth  Eliza  reached 
to  him,  and  read  it  aloud. 

"Come  to  us  directly — the  house  is  NOT  on 
fire ! " 

The  chief  engineer  was  standing  on  the  steps. 

' '  The  house  not  on  fire  ! "  he  exclaimed.  ' '  What 
are  we  all  summoned  for  ?  " 

"  It  is  a  mistake,"  cried  Elizabeth  Eliza,  wringing 
her  hands.  "We  touched  the  wrong  knob;  we 
wanted  the  telegraph  boy ! " 

"We  touched  all  the  wrong  knobs,"  exclaimed 
Mrs.  Peterkin,  from  the  house. 

The  chief  engineer  turned  directly  to  give  counter- 
directions,  with  a  few  exclamations  of  disgust,  as 
the  bells  of  distant  fire-engines  were  heard  ap 
proaching. 

Solomon  John  appeared  at  this  moment,  and  pro 
posed  taking  one  of  the  carriages,  and  going  for  a 
doctor  for  his  mother,  for  she  was  now  nearly  read}7 
to  fall  into  hj-sterics,  and  Agamemnon  thought  to 
send  a  telegram  down  by  the  boy,  for  the  evening 


196  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

papers,  to  announce  that  the  Peterkins'  house  had 
not  been  on  fire. 

The  crisis  of  the  commotion  had  reached  its  height. 
Tlic  beds  of  flowers  bordered  with  dark-colored  leaves 
were  trodden  down  by  the  feet  of  the  crowd  that  had 
assembled. 

The  chief  engineer  grew  more  and  more  indignant, 
as  he  sent  his  men  to  order  back  the  fire-engines 
from  the  neighboring  towns.  The  collection  of  boy*> 
followed  the  procession  as  it  went  away.  The  fire 
brigade  hastily  removed  covers  from  some  of  the 
furniture,  restored  the  rest  to  their  places,  and  took 
awny  their  ladders.  Many  neighbors  remained,  but 
Mr.  Peterkin  hastened  into  the  house  to  attend  to 
Mrs.  Peterkin. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  took  an  opportunit}7  to  question 
her  father,  before  he  went  in,  as  to  the  success  of 
their  visit  to  town. 

""We  saw  all  the  patent-agents,"  answered  Mr. 
Peterkin,  in  a  hollow  whisper.  "Not  one  of  them 
will  touch  the  patent,  or  have  anything  to  dg  with 
it." 

Elizabeth  Eliza  looked  at  Agamemnon,  as  he 
walked  silently  into  the  house.  She  would  not  now 
speak  to  him  of  the  patent ;  but  she  recalled  some 
words  of  Solomon  John.  When  they  were  discussing 
the  patent,  he  had  said  that  many  an  inventor  had 


MODERN   IMPROVEMENTS    AT   THE    PETERKINS*.    197 

grown  gray  before  Ms  discovery  was  acknowledged 
b}'  the  public.  Others  might  reap  the  harvest,  but 
it  came,  perhaps,  only  when  he  was  going  to  his 
grave. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  looked  at  Agamemnon  reverently, 
and  followed  him  silently  into  the  house. 


198  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 


AGAMEMNON'S  CAREER. 


THERE  had  apparently  been  some  mistake  in  Aga 
memnon's  education.  He  had  been  to  a  number  of 
colleges,  indeed,  but  he  had  never  completed  his 
course  in  any  one.  He  had  continually  fallen  into 
some  difficulty  with  the  authorities.  It  was  singu 
lar,  for  he  was  of  an  inquiring  mind,  and  had 
always  tried  to  find  out  what  would  be  expected  of 
him,  but  had  never  hit  upon  the  right  thing. 

Solomon  John  thought  the  trouble  might  be  in  what 
they  called  the  elective  system,  where  you  were  to 
choose  what  study  you  might  take.  This  had 
always  bewildered  Agamemnon  a  good  deal. 

"  And  how  was  a  feller  to  tell,"  Solomon  John 
had  asked,  "whether  he  wanted  to  stud}' a  thing, 
before  he  tried  it  ?  It  might  turn  out  awful  hard  !  " 

Agamemnon  had  alwa}Ts  been  fond  of  reading, 
from  his  childhood  up.  He  was  at  his  book  all  day 
long.  Mrs.  Peterkin  had  imagined  he  would  come 
out  a  great  scholar,  because  she  could  never  get  him 
away  from  his  books. 


AGAMEMNOX'S    CAREER.  199 

And  so  it  was  in  his  colleges ;  he  was  always  to 
be  found  in  the  library,  reading  and  reading.  But 
they  were  always  the  wrong  books. 

For  instance  :  the  class  were  required  to  prepare 
themselves  on  the  Spartan  war.  This  turned  Aga 
memnon's  attention  to  the  Fenians,  and  to  study  the 
subject,  he  read  up  on  "  Charles  O'Malley "  and 
"Harry  Lorrequer,"  and  some  later  novels  of  that 
sort,  which  did  not  help  him  on  the  subject  required, 
yet  took  up  all  his  time,  so  that  he  found  himself 
unfitted  for  anything  else  when  the  examinations 
came.  In  consequence,  he  was  requested  to  leave. 

Agamemnon  always  missed  in  his  recitations,  for 
the  same  reason  that  Elizabeth  Eliza  did  not  get  on 
in  school,  because  he  was.  always  asked  the  ques 
tions  he  did  not  know.  It  seemed  provoking ;  if 
the  professors  had  only  asked  something  else  !  But 
they  always  hit  upon  the  very  things  he  had  not 
studied  up. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  felt  this  was  encouraging,  for  Aga 
memnon  knew  the  things  they  did  not  know  in  col 
leges.  In  colleges,  they  were  willing  to  take  for 
students  only  those  who  already  knew  certain 
things.  She  thought  Agamemnon  might  be  a  pro 
fessor  in  a  college  for  those  students  who  didn't 
know  those  things. 

"  I    suppose   these    professors    could  not    have 


200  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

known  a  great  deal,"  she  added,  "or  they  would 
not  have  asked  you  so  many  questions  ;  they  would 
have  told  you  something." 

Agamemnon  had  left  another  college  on  account 
of  a  mistake  he  had  made  with  some  of  his  class 
mates.  They  had  taken  a  great  deal  of  trouble  to 
bring  some  wood  from  a  distant  wood-pile  to  make  a 
bonfire  with,  under  one  of  the  professors'  windows. 
Agamemnon  had  felt  it  would  be  a  compliment  to 
the  professor. . 

It  was  with  bonfires  that  heroes  had  been  greeted 
on  their  return  from  successful  wars.  In  this  way, 
beacon-lights  had  been  kindled  upon  lofty  heights, 
that  had  inspired  mariners  seeking  their  homes  after 
distant  adventures.  As  he  plodded  back  and  for 
ward,  he  imagined  himself  some  hero  of  antiquity. 
He  was  reading  "Plutarch's  Lives"  with  deep  in 
terest.  This  had  been  recommended  at  a  former 
college,  and  he  was  now  taking  it  up  in  the  midst  of 
his  French  course.  He  fancied,  even,  that  some 
future  Plutarch  was  growing  up  in  Lynn,  perhaps, 
who  would  write  of  this  night  of  suffering  and 
glorify  its  heroes. 

For  himself,  he  took  a  severe  cold  and  suffered 
from  chilblains,  in  consequence  of  going  back  and 
forward  through  the  snow  carrying  the  wood. 

But  the  flames  of  the  bonfire  caught  the  blinds  of 


AGAMEMNON'S  CAREER.  201 

the  professor's  room,  and  set  fire  to  the  building, 
and  came  near  burning  up  the  whole  institution. 
Agamemnon  regretted  the  result  as  much  as  his 
predecessor,  who  gave  him  his  name,  must  have 
regretted  that  other  bonfire  on  the  shores  of  Aulis, 
that  deprived  him  of  a  daughter. 

The  result  for  Agamemnon  was  that  he  was  re 
quested  to  leave,  after  having  been  in  the  institution 
but  a  few  months. 

lie  left  another  college  in  consequence  of  a  mis 
understanding  about  the  hour  for  morning  prayers. 
He  went  every  day  regularly  at  ten  o'clock,  but 
found,  afterward,  that  he  should  have  gone  at  half- 
past  six.  This  hour  seemed  to  him  and  to  Mrs. 
Peterkin  unseasonable,  at  a  time  of  year  when  the 
sun  was  not  up,  and  he  would  have  been  obliged  to 
go  to  the  expense  of  candles. 

Agamemnon  was  always  willing  to  try  another 
college,  wherever  he  could  be  admitted.  He  wanted 
to  attain  knowledge,  however  it  might  be  found. 
But,  after  going  to  five,  and  leaving  each  before  the 
year  was  out,  he  gave  it  up. 

He  determined  to  lay  out  the  money,  that  would 
have  been  expended  in  a  collegiate  education,  in 
bu}Ting  an  Encyclopaedia,  the  most  complete  that 
he  could  find,  and  to  spend  his  life  studying  it 
systematically.  He  would  not  content  himself  with 


202  THE  PETERKTN  PAPERS. 

merely  reading  it,  but  he  would  study  into  each  sub 
ject  as  it  came  up,  and  perfect  himself  in  that  sub 
ject.  By  the  time,  then,  that  he  had  finished  the 
Encyclopaedia,  he  should  have  embraced  all  knowl 
edge,  and  have  experienced  much  of  it. 

The  family  were  much  interested  in  this  plan  of 
making  practice  of  every  subject  that  came  up. 

He  did  .not,  of  course,  get  on  very  fast  in  this 
way.  In  the  second  column  of  the  very  first  page, 
he  met  with  A  as  a  note  in  music.  This  led  him  to 
the  study  of  music.  He  bought  a  flute,  and  took 
some  lessons,  and  attempted  to  accompanj-  Eliza 
beth  Eliza  on  the  piano.  This,  of  course,  distracted 
him  from  his  work  on  the  Encyclopaedia.  But  he 
did  not  wish  to  return  to  A  until  he  felt  perfect  in 
music.  This  required  a  long  time. 

Then  in  this  same  paragraph  a  reference  was 
made;  in  it  he  was  requested  to  "see  Keys."  It 
was  necessary,  then,  to  turn  to  "  Keys."  This  was 
about  the  time  the  family  were  moving,  which  we 
have  mentioned,  when  the  difficult  subject  of  keys 
came  up,  that  suggested  to  him  his  own  simple  in 
vention,  and  the  hope  of  getting  a  patent  for  it. 
This  led  him  astray,  as  inventions  before  have  done 
with  master-minds,  so  that  he  was  drawn  aside  from 
his  regular  study. 

The  family,  however,  were  perfectly  satisfied  with 


AGAMEMNON'S  CAREER.  203 

the  career  Agamemnon  had  chosen.  It  would  help 
them  all  in  any  path  of  life,  if  he'  should  master  the 
Encyclopaedia  in  a  thorough  way. 

Mr.  Peterkin  agreed  it  would  in  the  end  be  not  as 

expensive  as  a  college  course,  even  if  Agamemnon 

.should    buy   all    the  different  Encyclopaedias   that 

'appeared.     There  would  be  no  "spreads"  involved, 

no  expense  of  receiving  friends  at  entertainments  in 

college  ;  he  could  live  at  home,  so  that  it  would  not 

be  necessary  to  fit  up  another  room  as  at  college. 

At  all  the  times  of  his  leaving,  he  had  sold  out 

favorably  to  other  occupants. 

Solomon  John's  destiny  was  more  uncertain.  He 
was  looking  forward  to  being  a  doctor  some  time, 
but  he  had  not  decided  whether  to  be  allopathic  or. 
homoeopathic,  or  whether  he  could  not  better  invent 
his  own  pills.  And  he  could  not  understand  how  to 
obtain  his  doctor's  degree. 

For  a  few  weeks  he  acted  as  clerk  in  a  druggist's 
store.  But  he  could  serve  only  in  the  tooth-brush 
and  soap  department,  because  it  was  found  he  was 
not  familiar  enough  with  the  Latin  language  to  com 
pound  the  drugs.  He  agreed  to  spend  his  evenings 
in  studying  the  Latin  grammar,  but  his  course  was 
interrupted  by  his  being  dismissed  for  treating  the 
little  boys  too  frequently  to  soda. 

The  little  boys  were  going  through  the  schools 


204  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

regularly.  The  family  had  been  much  exercised 
with  regard  to  their  education.  Elizabeth  Eliza  felt 
that  everything  should  be  expected  from  them  ; 
they  ought  to  take  advantage  from  the  family  mis 
takes.  Every  new  method  that  came  up  was  tried 
upon  the  little  boj'S.  They  had  been  taught  spell 
ing  by  all  the  different  systems,  and  were  just  able 
to  read,  when  Mr.  Peterkin  learned  that  it  was  now 
considered  best  that  children  should  not  be  taught 
to  read  till  they  were  ten  years  old. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  in  despair.  Perhaps  if  then* 
books  were  taken  from  them  even  then,  they  might 
forget  what  they  had  learned.  But  no,  the  evil  was 
done,  the  brain  had  received  certain  impressions 
that  could  not  be  blurred  over. 

This  was  long  ago,  however.  The  little  boj's  had 
since  entered  the  public  schools.  They  went  also  to 
a  gymnasium,  and  a  whittling  school,  and  joined  a 
class  in  music,  and  another  in  dancing ;  they  went 
to  some  afternoon  lectures  for  children,  when  there 
was  no  other  school,  and  belonged  to  a  walking- 
club.  Still  Mr.  Peterkin  was  dissatisfied  by  the 
slowness  of  their  progress.  He  visited  the  schools 
himself,  and  found  that  they  did  not  lead  their 
classes.  It  seemed  to  him  a  great  deal  of  time 
was  spent  in  things  that  were  not  instructive,  such  as 
putting  on  and  taking  off  their  india-rubber  boots. 


AGAMEMNON'S  CAREER.  205 

Elizabeth  Eliza  proposed  that  they  should  be  taken 
from  school  and  taught  by  Agamemnon  from  the 
Encyclopaedia.  The  rest  of  the  family  might  help  in 
the  education  at  all  hours  of  the  day.  Solomon  John 
could  take  up  the  Latin  grammar,  and  she  could 
give  lessons  in  French. 

The  little  boys  were  enchanted  with  the  plan, 
only  they  did  not  want  to  have  the  study-hours  all 
the  time. 

Mr.  Peterkin,  however,  had  a  magnificent  idea, 
that  they  should  make  their  life  one  grand  Object 
Lesson.  They  should  begin  at  breakfast,  and  study 
everything  put  upon  the  table, —  the  material  of 
which  it  was  made,  and  where  it  came  from.  In 
the  study  of  the  letter  A,  Agamemnon  had  embraced 
the  study  of  music,  and  from  one  meal  they  might 
gain  instruction  enough  for  a  day. 

"We  shall  have  the  assistance,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 
kin,  "  of  Agamemnon  with  his  Encyclopaedia." 

Agamemnon  modestly  suggested  that  he  had  not 
yet  got  out  of  A,  and  in  their  first  breakfast  every 
thing  would  therefore  have  to  begin  with  A. 

u  That  would  not  be  impossible,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 
kin.  "  There  is  Amanda,  who  will  wait  on  table,  to 
start  with " 

"  We  could  have  'am-and-eggs,"  suggested  Solo 
mon  John. 


206  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  distressed.  It  was  hard 
enough  to  think  of  anything  for  breakfast,  and 
impossible,  if  it  all  had  to  begin  with  one  letter ! 

Elizabeth  Eliza  thought  it  would  not  be  necessary. 
All  they  were  to  do  was  to  ask  questions,  as  in 
examination  papers,  and  find  their  answers  as  they 
could.  They  could  still  apply  to  the  Encyclopaedia, 
even  if  it  were  not  in  Agamemnon's  alphabetical 
course. 

Mr.  Peterkin  suggested  a  great  variety.  One  day 
they  would  study  the  botany  of  the  breakfast- table, 
another  day  its  natural  history.  The  study  of  butter 
would  include  that  of  the  cow.  Even  that  of  the 
butter-dish  would  bring  in  geology.  The  little  boys 
were  charmed  at  the  idea  of  learning  pottery  from 
the  cream-jug,  and  they  were  promised  a  potter's 
wheel  directly. 

"You  see,  my  dear,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin  to  his 
wife,  "  before  many  weeks,  we  shall  be  drinking  our 
milk  from  jugs  made  by  our  children." 

Elizabeth  Eliza  hoped  for  a  thorough  study. 

"Yes,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "  we  might  begin  with 
botany.  That  would  be  near  to  Agamemnon  alpha 
betically.  We  ought  to  find  out  the  botany  of  but 
ter.  On  what  does  the  cow  feed  ?  " 

The  little  boys  were  eager  to  go  out  and  see. 

"If  she  eats  clover,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  "we 
shall  expect  the  botany  of  the  clover." 


AGAMEMNON'S  CAREER.  207 

The  little  boys  insisted  that  they  were  to  begin  the 
next  da}' ;  that  very  evening  they  should  go  out  and 
study  the  cow. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  sighed,  and  decided  she  would 
order  a  simple  breakfast.  The  little  boys  took  their 
note-books  and  pencils,  and  clambered  upon  the 
fence,  where  they  seated  themselves  in  a  row. 

For  there  were  three  little  boys.  So  it  was  now 
supposed.  They  were  always  coming  in  or  going 
out,  and  it  had  been  difficult  to  count  them,  and 
nobody  was  very  sure  how  many  there  were. 

There  they  sat,  however,  on  the  fence,  looking  at 
the  cow.  She  looked  at  them  with  large  eyes. 

"  She  won't  eat,"  they  cried,  "while  we  are  look 
ing  at  her ! " 

So  they  turned  about,  and  pretended  to  look  into 
the  street,  and  seated  themselves  that  way,  turning 
their  heads  back,  from  time  to  time,  to  see  the  cow. 

"  Now  she  is  nibbling  a  clover." 

"  No,  that  is  a  bit  of  sorrel." 

"  It's  a  whole  handful  of  grass  !  " 

"  What  kind  of  grass?  "  they  exclaimed. 

It  was  very  hard,  sitting  with  their  backs  to  the 
cow,  and  pretending  to  the  cow  that  they  were  look 
ing  into  the  street,  and  }*et  to  be  looking  at  the  cow  all 
the  time,  and  finding  out  what  she  was  eating ;  and 
the  upper  rail  of  the  fence  was  narrow  and  a  little 


208  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

sharp.  It  was  very  high,  too,  for  some  additional 
rails  had  been  put  on  to  prevent  the  cow  from  jump 
ing  into  the  garden  or  street. 

Suddenly,  looking  out  into  the  haz}r  twilight,  Eliza 
beth  Eliza  saw  six  legs  and  six  india-rubber  boots 
in  the  air,  and  the  little  boys  disappeared ! 

"  They  are  tossed  by  the  cow!  The  little  boys 
are  tossed  by  the  cow  !  " 

Mrs.  Peterkin  rushed  for  the  window,  but  fainted 
on  the  way.  Solomon  John  and  Elizabeth  Eliza 
were  hurrying  to  the  door,  but  stopped,  not  knowing 
what  to  do  next.  Mrs.  Peterkin  recovered  herself 
with  a  supreme  effort,  and  sent  them  out  to  the  res 
cue. 

But  what  could  they  do  ?  The  fence  had  been 
made  so  high,  to  keep  the  cow  out,  that  nobody 
could  get  in.  The  boy  that  did  the  milking  had 
gone  off  with  the  key  of  the  outer  gate,  and  perhaps 
with  the  key  of  the  shed  door.  Even  if  that  were 
not  locked,  before  Agamemnon  could  get  round  by 
the  wood-shed  and  cow-shed,  the  little  boys  might 
be  gored  through  and  through ! 

Elizabeth  Eliza  ran  to  the  neighbors,  Solomon 
John  to  the  druggist's  for  plasters,  while  Agamem 
non  made  his  way  through  the  dining-room  to  the 
wood-shed  and  outer-shed  door.  Mr.  Peterkin 
mounted  the  outside  of  the  fence,  while  Mrs. 


AGAMEMNON'S  CAREER.  209 

Peterkin  begged  him  not  to  put  himself  in  danger. 
He  climbed  high  enough  to  view  the  scene.  He 
held  to  the  corner  post  and  reported  what  he  saw. 

They  were  not  gored.  The  cow  was  at  the  other 
end  of  the  lot.  One  of  the  little  bo}*s  was  lying  in  a 
bunch  of  dark  leaves.  He  was  moving. 

The  cow  glared,  but  did  not  stir.  Another  little 
boy  was  pulling  his  india-rubber  boots  out  of  the 
mud.  The  cow  still  looked  at  him. 

Another  was  feeling  the  top  of  his  head.  The 
cow  began  to  crop  the  grass,  still  looking  at  him. 

Agamemnon  had  reached,  had  opened,  the  shed- 
door.  The  little  boys  were  next  seen  running 
toward  it. 

A  crowd  of  neighbors  with  pitchforks  had  returned 
meanwhile  Avith  Elizabeth  Eliza.  Solomon  John 
had  brought  four  druggists.  But,  by  the  time  they 
had  reached  the  house,  the  three  little  boys  were 
sale  in  the  arms  of  their  mother ! 

' '  This  is  too  dangerous  a  form  of  education,"  she 
cried ;  "I  had  rather  they  went  to  school." 

' '  No ! "  they  bravely  cried.  They  were  still  will 
ing  to  try  the  other  way. 


210  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 


THE  EDUCATIONAL  BREAKFAST. 


MRS.  PETERKIN'S  nerves  were  so  shaken  by  the 
excitement  of  the  fall  of  the  three  little  boys  into 
the  inclosure  where  the  cow  was  kept,  that  the 
educational  breakfast  was  long  postponed.  The 
little  boys  continued  at  school,  as  before,  and  the 
conversation  dwelt  as  little  as  possible  upon  the 
subject  of  education. 

Mrs.  Peterkin's  spirits,  however,  gradually  recov 
ered.  The  little  boys  were  allowed  to  watch  the 
cow  at  her  feed.  A  series  of  strings  was  arranged 
by  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John,  by  which  the 
little  bo}*s  could  be  pulled  up,  if  they  should  again 
fall  down  into  the  inclosure.  These  were  planned 
something  like  curtain-cords,  and  Solomon  John  fre 
quently  amused  himself  by  pulling  one  of  the  little 
"boys  up  or  letting  him  down. 

Some  conversation  did  again  fall  upon  the  old 
difficulty  of  questions.  Elizabeth  Eliza  declared 
that  it  was  not  always  necessary  to  answer ;  that 
many  who  could,  did  not  answer  questions, —  the 


THE  EDUCATIONAL  BREAKFAST.        211 

conductors  of  the  railroads,  for  instance, —  who 
probably  knew  the  names  of  all  the  stations  on  a 
road,  but  were  seldom  able  to  tell  them. 

"  Yes,"  said  Agamemnon,  "  one  might  be  a  con 
ductor  without  even  knowing  the  names  of  the 
stations,  because  you  can't  nnderstand  them  when 
they  do  teU  them  !  " 

"  I  never  know,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza,  "  whether 
it  is  ignorance  in  them,  or  unwillingness,  that  pre 
vents  them  from  telling  you  how  soon  one  station  is 
coming,  or  how  long  you  are  to  stop,  even  if  one 
asks  ever  so  many  times.  It  would  be  so  useful  if 
they  would  tell." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  this  was  carried  too  far  in 
the  horse-cars  in  Boston.  The  conductors  had 
alwaj's  left  you  as  far  as  possible  from  the  place 
where  you  wanted  to  stop  ;  but  it  seemed  a  little  too 
much  to  have  the  aldermen  take  it  up,  and  put  a 
notice  in  the  cars,  ordering  the  conductors  "  to 
stop  at  the  farthest  crossing." 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was,  indeed,  recovering  her  spirits. 
She  had  been  carrying  on  a  brisk  correspondence 
with  Philadelphia,  that  she  had  imparted  to  no  one, 
and  at  last  she  announced  as  its  result,  that  she 
was  ready  for  a  breakfast  on  educational  principles. 

A  breakfast  indeed,  when  it  appeared !  Mrs. 
Peterkin  had  mistaken  the  alphabetical  suggestion, 


212  THE  PETERKIX  PAPERS. 

and  had  grasped  the  idea  that  the  whole  alphabet 
must  be  represented  in  one  breakfast. 

This,  therefore,  was  the  bill  of  fare :  Apple 
sauce,  Bread,  Butter,  Coffee,  Cream,  Doughnuts, 
Eggs,  Fish-balls,  Griddles,  Ham,  Ice  (on  butter), 
Jam,  Krout  (sour),  Lamb-chops,  Morning  News 
papers,  Oatmeal,  Pepper,  Quince-marmalade,  Rolls, 
Salt,  Tea  Urn,  Veal-pie,  Waffles,  Yeast-biscuit. 

Mr.  Peterkin  was  proud  and  astonished.  "Ex 
cellent!"  he  cried.  "Every  letter  represented 
except  Z."  Mrs.  Peterkin  drew  from  her  pocket 
a  letter  from  the  lady  from  Philadelphia.  "She 
thought  you  would  call  it  X-cellent  for  X,  and  she 
tells  us,"  she  read,  "  that  if  you  come  with  a  zest, 
3Tou  will  bring  the  Z." 

Mr.  Peterkin  was  enchanted.  He  only  felt  that 
he  ought  to  invite  the  children  in  the  primary  schools 
to  such  a  breakfast ;  what  a  zest,  indeed,  it  would 
give  to  the  study  of  their  letters  ! 

It  was  decided  to  begin  with  Apple-sauce. 

"How  happy,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Peterkin,  "that 
this  should  come  first  of  all !  A  child  might  be 
brought  up  on  apple-sauce  till  he  had  mastered  the 
first  letter  of  the  alphabet,  and  could  go  on  to  the 
more  involved  subjects  hidden  in  bread,  butter, 
baked  beans,  etc." 

Agamemnon  thought  his  father  hardly  knew  how 


THE    EDUCATIONAL   BREAKFAST.  213 

much  was  hidden  in  the  apple.  There  was  all  the 
story  of  William  Tell  and  the  Swiss  independence. 
The  little  boys  were  wild  to  act  William  Tell,  but 
Mrs.  Peterkin  was  afraid  of  the  arrows.  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  proposed  they  should  begin  b}'  eating  the  apple 
sauce,  then  discussing  it,  first  botanicalry,  next 
historically  ;  or  perhaps  first  historically,  beginning 
with  Adam  and  Eve,  and  the  first  apple. 

Mrs.  Peterkiu  feared  the  coffee  would  be  getting 
cold,  and  the  griddles  were  waiting.  For  herself, 
she  declared  she  felt  more  at  home  on  the  marma 
lade,  because  the  quinces  came  from  grandfather's, 
and  she  had  seen  them  planted  ;  she  remembered  all 
about  it,  and  now  the  bush  came  up  to  the  sitting- 
room  window.  She  seemed  to  have  heard  him  tell 
that  the  town  of  Quiiicy,  where  the  granite  came 
from,  was  named  from  them,  and  she  never  quite 
recollected  why,  except  they  were  so  hard,  as  hard 
as  stone,  and  it  took  3*011  almost  the  whole  day  to 
stew  them,  and  then  you  might  as  well  set  them  on 
again. 

Mr.  Peterkin  was  glad  to  be  reminded  of  the 
old  place  at  grandfather's.  In  order  to  know 
thoroughly  about  apples,  they  ought  to  understand 
the  making  of  cider.  Now,  they  might  some  time 
drive  up  to  grandfather's,  scarcely  twelve  miles 
away,  and  see  the  cider  made.  Why,  indeed, 


214  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

should  not  the  family  go  this  very  day  up  to  grand 
father's,  and  continue  the  education  of  the  break 
fast? 

"  Why  not,  indeed  ?"  exclaimed  the  little  boys. 
A  day  at  grandfather's  would  give  them  the  whole 
process  of  the  apple,  from  the  orchard  to  the  cider- 
mill.  In  this  way  they  could  widen  the  field  of 
stud}r,  even  to  follow  in  tune  the  cup  of  coffee  to 
Java. 

It  was  suggested,  too,  that  at  grandfather's  they 
might  study  the  processes  of  maple  sirup  as  in 
volved  in  the  griddle-cakes. 

Agamemnon  pointed  out  the  connection  between 
the  two  subjects :  they  were  both  the  products  of 
trees — the  apple-tree  and  the  maple.  Mr.  Pcterkin 
proposed  that  the  lesson  for  the  day  should  be  con 
sidered  the  study  of  trees,  and  on  the  way  the}' 
could  look  at  other  trees. 

Why  not,  indeed,  go  this  veryda}*?  There  was 
no  tune  like  the  present.  Their  breakfast  had  been 
so  copious,  they  would  scarcely  be  in  a  hurry  for 
dinner,  and  would  therefore  have  the  whole  day 
before  them. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  could  put  up  the  remains  of  the 
breakfast  for  luncheon. 

But  how  should  they  go?  The  carryall,  in  spite 
of  its  name,  could  hardly  take  the  whole  family, 


THE   EDUCATIONAL   BREAKFAST.  215 

though  they  might  squeeze  in  six,  as  the  little  boys 
did  not  take  up  much  room. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  suggested  that  she  could  spend 
the  night  at  grandfather's.  Indeed,  she  had  been 
planning  a  visit  there,  and  would  not  object  to  stay 
ing  some  days.  This  would  make  it  easier  about 
coming  home,  but  it  did  not  settle  the  difficulty  in 
getting  there. 

Why  not  "  Ride  and  Tie?  " 

The  little  bo}*s  were  fond  of  walking ;  so  was 
Mr.  Peterkin ;  and  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John 
did  not  object  to  then*  turn.  Mrs.  Peterkin  could 
sit  in  the  carriage,  when  it  was  waiting  for  the 
pedestrians  to  come  up ;  or,  she  said,  she  did  not 
object  to  a  little  turn  of  walking.  Mr.  Peterkin 
would  start  with  Solomon  John  and  the  little  bo}Ts, 
before  the  rest,  and  Agamemnon  should  drive  his 
mother  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  to  the  first  stopping- 
place. 

Then  came  up  another  question, —  of  Elizabeth 
Eliza's  trunk.  If  she  stayed  a  few  days,  she  would 
need  to  carry  something.  It  might  be  hot,  and  it 
might  be  cold.  Just  as  soon  as  she  carried  her  thin 
things,  she  would  need  her  heaviest  wraps.  You 
never  could  depend  upon  the  weather.  Even  Prob 
abilities  got  }-ou  no  further  than  to-day. 

In  an  inspired  moment,  Elizabeth  Eliza  bethought 


216  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

herself  of  the  expressman.  She  would  send  her 
trunk  by  the  express,  and  she  left  the  table  directly 
to  go  and  pack  it.  Mrs.  Peterkin  busied  herself 
with  Amanda  over  the  remains  of  the  breakfast. 
Mr.  Peterkiu  and  Agamemnon  went  to  order  the 
horse  and  the  expressman,  and  Solomon  John  and 
the  little  boys  prepared  themselves  for  a  pedestrian 
excursion. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  found  it  difficult  to  pack  in  a 
hurry ;  there  were  so  man}*  things  she  might  want, 
and  then  again  she  might  not.  She  must  put  up 
her  music,  because  her  grandfather  had  a  piano ; 
and  then  she  bethought  herself  of  Agamemnon's 
flute,  and  decided  to  pick  out  a  volume  or  two  of 
the  Encyclopaedia.  But  it  was  hard  to  decide,  all 
b}'  herself,  whether  to  take  G  for  griddle-cakes,  or 
M  for  maple  sirup,  or  T  for  tree.  She  would  take 
as  many  as  she  could  make  room  for.  She  put  up 
her  work-box  and  two  extra  work-baskets,  and  she 
must  take  some  French  books  she  had  never  yet 
found  time  to  read.  This  involved  taking  her 
French  dictionary,  as  she  doubted  if  her  grand 
father  had  one.  She  ought  to  put  in  a  "Botanj*,"  if 
they  were  to  stud}*  trees ;  but  she  Could  not  tell 
which,  so  she  would  take  all  there  were.  She  might 
as  well  take  all  her  dresses,  and  it  was  no  harm  if 
one  had  too  many  wraps.  When  she  had  her  trunk 


THE  EDUCATIONAL  BREAKFAST.        217 

packed,  she  found  it  over-full;  it  was  difficult  to 
shut  it.  She  had  heard  Solomon  John  set  out  from 
the  front  door  with  his  father  and  the  little  boys, 
and  Agamemnon  was  bus}7  holding  the  horse  at  the 
side  door,  so  there  was  no  use  in  calling  for  help. 
She  got  upon  the  trunk ;  she  jumped  upon  it ;  she 
sat  down  upon  it,  and,  leaning  over,  found  she 
could  lock  it !  Yes,  it  was  really  locked. 

But,  on  getting  down  from  the  trunk,  she  found 
her  dress  had  been  caught  in  the  lid  ;  she  could  not 
move  away  from  it !  "What  was  worse,  she  was  so 
fastened  to  the  trunk  that  she  could  not  lean  forward 
far  enough  to  turn  the  key  back,  to  unlock  the  trunk 
and  release  herself!  The  lock  had  slipped  easily, 
but  she  could  not  now  get  hold  of  the  key  in  the 
right  way  to  turn  it  back. 

She  tried  to  pull  her  dress  awajT.  No,  it  was 
caught  too  firmly.  She  called  for  help  to  her 
mother  or  Amanda,  to  come  and  open  the  trunk. 
But  her  door  was  shut.  Nobody  near  enough  to 
hear  !  She  tried  to  pull  the  trunk  toward  the  door, 
to  open  it  and  make  herself  heard ;  but  it  was  so 
heavy  that,  in  her  constrained  position,  she  could 
not  stir  it.  In  her  agony,  she  would  have  been  will 
ing  to  have  torn  her  dress  ;  but  it  was  her  travelling- 
dress,  and  too  stout  to  tear.  She  might  cut  it  care 
fully.  Alas,  she  had  packed  her  scissors,  and  her 


218  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

knife  she  had  lent  to  the  little  boys  the  day  before  ! 
She  called  again.  What  silence  there  was  in  the 
house !  Her  voice  seemed  to  echo  through  the 
room.  At  length,  as  she  listened,  she  heard  the 
sound  of  wheels. 

Was  it  the  carriage,  rolling  away  from  the  side 
door?  Did  she  hear  the  front  door  shut?  She 
remembered  then  that  Amanda  was  to  "  have  the 
day."  But  she,  Elizabeth  Eliza,  was  to  have  spoken 
to  Amanda,  to  explain  to  her  to  wait  for  the 
expressman.  She  was  to  have  told  her  as  she  went 
down-stairs.  But  she  had  not  been  able  to  go 
down-stairs !  And  Amanda  must  have  supposed 
that  all  the  family  had  left,  and  she,  too,  must  have 
gone,  knowing  nothing  of  the  expressman.  Yes, 
she  heard  the  wheels !  She  heard  the  front  door 
shut ! 

But  could  they  have  gone  without  her  ?  Then  she 
recalled  that  she  had  proposed  walking  on  a  little 
way  with  Solomon  John  and  her  father,  to  be  picked 
up  by  Mrs.  Peterkin,  if  she  should  hav.e  finished 
her  packing  in  time.  Her  mother  must  have  sup-i 
posed  that  she  had  done  so, —  that  she  had  spoken 
to  Amanda,  and  started  with  the  rest.  Well,  she 
would  soon  discover  her  mistake.  She  would  over 
take  the  walking  party,  and,  not  finding  Elizabeth 
Eliza,  would  return,  for  her.  Patience  only  was 


THE   EDUCATIONAL   BREAKFAST.  219 

needed.  She  had  looked  around  for  something  to 
read ;  but  she  had  packed  up  all  her  books.  She 
had  packed  her  knitting.  How  quiet  and  still  it 
was  !  She  tried  to  imagine  where  her  mother  would 
meet  the  rest  of  the  f amity.  They  were  good  walk 
ers,  and  they  might  have  reached  the  two- mile 
bridge.  But  suppose  they  should  stop  for  water 
beneath  the  arch  of  the  bridge,  as  they  often  did, 
and  the  carryall  pass  over  it  without  seeing  them,  her 
mother  would  not  know  but  she  was  with  them? 
And  suppose  her  mother  should  decide  to  leave  the 
horse  at  the  place  proposed  for  stopping  and  wait 
ing  for  the  first  pedestrian  party,  and  herself  walk 
on,  no  one  would  be  left  to  tell  the  rest,  when  they 
should  come  up  to  the  carryall.  They  might  go  on 
so,  through  the  whole  journey  without  meeting,  and 
she  might  not  be  missed  till  they  should  reach  her 
grandfather's ! 

Horrible  thought !  She  would  be  left  here  alone 
ah1  day.  The  expressman  would  come,  but  the 
expressman  would  go,  for  he  would  not  be  able  to 
get  into  the  house  ! 

She  thought  of  the  terrible  story  of  Ginevra,  of 
the  bride  who  was  shut  up  in  her  trunk,  and  for 
ever  !  She  was  shut  up  on  hers,  and  knew  not 
when  she  should  be  released !  She  had  acted  once 
in  the  ballad  of  the  "  Mistletoe  Bough."  She  had 


220  THE    PETERKO   PAPERS. 

been  one  of  the  "  guests,"  who  had  sung  "  Oh,  the 
Mistletoe  Bough,"  and  had  looked  up  at  it,  and  she 
had  seen  at  the  side-scenes  how  the  bride  had 
laughingly  stepped  into  the  trunk.  But  the  trunk 
then  was  only  a  make-believe  of  some  boards  in 
front  of  a  sofa,  and  this  was  a  stern  reality. 

It  would  be  late  now  before  her  family  would 
reach  her  grandfather's.  Perhaps  they  would  de 
cide  to  spend  the  night.  Perhaps  they  would  fancy 
she  was  coming  by  express.  She  gave  another 
tremendous  effort  to  move  the  trunk  toward  the 
door.  In  vain.  All  was  still. 

Meanwhile,  Mrs.  Petcrkin  sat  some  time  at  the 
door,  wondering  why  Elizabeth  Eliza  did  not  come 
down.  Mr.  Peterkin  had  stalled  on  with  Solomon 
John  and  all  the  little  boys.  Agamemnon  had 
packed  the  things  into  the  carriage, —  a  basket  of 
lunch,  a  change  of  shoes  for  Mr.  Peterkin,  some 
extra  wraps, —  everything  Mrs.  Peterkin  could  think 
of,  for  the  famiby  comfort.  Still  Elizabeth  Eliza  did 
not  come.  "  I  think  she  must  have  walked  on  with 
your  father,"  she  said,  at  last ;  "  you  had  better  get 
in."  Agamemnon  now  got  in.  "I  should  think 
she  would  have  mentioned  it,"  she  continued  ;  "  but 
we  may  as  well  start  on,  and  pick  her  up  !  "  The}' 
started  off.  "  I  hope  Elizabeth  Eliza  thought  to 
speak  to  Amanda,  but  we  must  ask  her  when  we 
come  up  with  her." 


THE  EDUCATIONAL  BREAKFAST.        221 

But  they  did  not  come  up  with  Elizabeth  Eliza. 
At  the  turn  beyond  the  village,  they  found  an 
envelope  stuck  up  in  an  inviting  manner  against  a 
tree.  In  this  way,  they  had  agreed  to  leave  mis 
sives  for  each  other  as  the}'  passed  on.  This  note 
informed  them  that  the  walking  party  was  going  to 
take  the  short  cut  across  the  meadows,  and  would 
still  be  in  front  of  them.  They  saw  the  party  at 
last,  just  beyond  the  short  cut;  but  Mr.  Peterkin 
was  explaining  the  character  of  the  oak-tree  to  his 
children  as  they  stood  around  a  large  specimen. 

' '  I  suppose  he  is  telling  them  that  it  is  some  kind 
of  a  '  Quercus,' "  said  Agamemnon,  thoughtfully. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  thought  Mr.  Peterkin  would  scarce 
ly  use  such  an  expression,  but  she  could  see  noth 
ing  of  Elizabeth  Eliza.  Some  of  the  party,  how 
ever,  were  behind  the  tree,  some  were  in  front,  and 
Elizabeth  Eliza  might  be  behind  the  tree.  They 
were  too  far  off  to  be  shouted  at.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
was  calmed,  and  went  on  to  the  stopping-place 
agreed  upon,  which  they  reached  before  long.  This 
had  been  appointed  near  Farmer  Gordon's  barn, 
that  there  might  be  somebody  at  hand  whom  they 
knew,  in  case  there  should  be  any  difficulty  in  unty 
ing  the  horse.  The  plan  had  been  that  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  should  always  sit  in  the  carriage,  while  the 
others  should  take  turns  for  walking  ;  and  Agamern- 


222  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

non  tied  the  horse  to  a  fence,  and  left  her  comforta 
bly  arranged  with  her  knitting.  Indeed,  she  had 
risen  so  early  to  prepare  for  the  alphabetical  break 
fast,  and  had  since  been  so  tired  with  preparations, 
that  she  was  quite  sleepy,  and  would  not  object  to  a 
nap  in  the  shade,  by  the  soothing  sound  of  the  buzz 
ing  of  the  flies.  But  she  called  Agamemnon  back, 
as  he  started  off  for  his  solitary  walk,  with  a  per 
plexing  question : 

"Suppose  the  rest  all  should  arrive,  how  could 
they  now  be  accommodated  in  the  carryall?  It 
would  be  too  much  for  the  horse  !  Why  had  Eliza 
beth  Eliza  gone  with  the  rest  without  counting  up  ? 
Of  course,  they  must  have  expected  that  she  —  Mrs. 
Peterkin  —  would  walk  on  to  the  next  stopping- 
place  ! " 

She  decided  there  was  no  way  but  for  her  to  walk 
on.  When  the  rest  passed  her,  they  might  make  a 
change.  So  she  put  up  her  knitting  cheerfully.  It 
was  a  little  joggly  in  the  carriage,  she  had  already 
found,  for  the  horse  was  restless  from  the  flies,  and 
she  did  not  like  being  left  alone. 

She  walked  on  then  with  Agamemnon.  It  was 
very  pleasant  at  first,  but  the  sun  became  hot,  and  it 
was  not  long  before  she  was  fatigued.  When  they 
reached  a  haj'-ficld,  she  proposed  going  in  to  rest 
upon  one  of  the  hay-cocks.  The  largest  and  most 


THE  EDUCATIONAL  BREAKFAST.        223 

shady  was  at  the  other  end  of  the  field,  and  they 
were  seated  there  when  the  carryall  passed  them  in 
the  road.  Mrs.  Peterkin  waved  parasol  and  hat, 
and  the  party  in  the  carryall  returned  their  greet 
ings,  but  they  were  too  far  apart  to  hear  each  other. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  and  Agamemnon  slowly  resumed 
their  walk. 

' '  Well,  we  shall  find  Elizabeth  Eliza  in  the  carry 
all,"  she  said,  "  and  that  will  explain  all." 

But  it  took  them  an  hour  or  two  to  reach  the 
carryall,  with  frequent  stoppings  for  rest,  and  when 
they  reached  it,  no  one  was  in  it.  A  note  was 
pinned  up  in  the  vehicle  to  say  they  had  all  walked 
on  ;  it  was  "  prime  fun." 

In  this  way  the  parties  continued  to  dodge  each 
other,  for  Mrs.  Peterkin  felt  that  she  must  walk  on 
from  the  next  station,  and  the  carryall  missed  her 
again  while  she  and  Agamemnon  stopped  in  a  house 
to  rest,  and  for  a  glass  of  water.  She  reached  the 
carryall  to  find  again  that  no  one  was  in  it.  The 
party  had  passed  on  for  the  last  station,  where  it 
had  been  decided  all  should  meet  at  the  foot  of 
grandfather's  hill,  that  they  might  all  arrive  at  the 
house  together.  Mrs.  Peterkin  and  Agamemnon 
looked  out  eagerly  for  the  party  all  the  way,  as 
Elizabeth  Eliza  must  be  tired  by  this  time  ;  but  Mrs. 
Peterkin's  last  walk  had  been  so  slow,  that  the  other 


224  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

party  were  far  in  advance  and  reached  the  stopping- 
place  before  them.  The  little  boys  were  all  rowed 
out  on  the  stone  fence,  awaiting  them,  full  of  delight 
at  having  reached  grandfather's.  Mr.  Peterkin  came 
forward  to  meet  them,  and,  at  the  same  moment 
with  Mrs.  Peterkin,  exclaimed:  "  "Where  is  Eliza 
beth  Eliza?"  Each  party  looked  eagerly  at  the 
other ;  no  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  to  be  seen.  Where 
was  she?  What  was  to  be  done?  Was  she  left 
behind?  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  convinced  she  must 
have  somehow  got  to  grandfather's.  They  hurried 
up  the  hill.  Grandfather  and  all  the  family  came 
out  to  greet  them,  for  they  had  been  seen  approaching. 
There  was  great  questioning,  but  no  Elizabeth  Eliza ! 

It  was  sunset ;  the  view  was  wide  and  fine.  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Peterkin  stood  and  looked  out  from  the 
north  to  the  south.  Was  it  too  late  to  send  back 
for  Elizabeth  Eliza  ?  Where  was  she  ? 

Meanwhile  the  little  bo}*s  had  been  informing  the 
family  of  the  object  of  their  visit,  and  while  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Peterkin  were  looking  up  and  down  the 
road,  and  Agamemnon  and  Solomon  John  AY  ere 
explaining  to  each  other  the  details  of  their  jour 
neys,  they  had  discovered  some  facts. 

"We  shall  have  to  go  back,"  they  exclaimed. 
"  We  are  too  late !  The  maple  sirup  was  all  made 
last  spring." 


THE  EDUCATIONAL  BREAKFAST.        225 

' '  "We  are  too  early ;  we  shall  have  to  stay  two  or 
three  months, —  the  cider  is  not  made  till  October." 

The  expedition  was  a  failure  !  They  could  study 
the  making  of  neither  maple  sirup  nor  cider,  and 
Elizabeth  Eliza  was  lost,  perhaps  forever !  The 
sun  went  down,  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  still 
stood  to  look  up  and  down  the  road. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  meanwhile,  had  sat  upon  her 
trunk,  as  it  seemed  for  ages.  She  recalled  all  the 
terrible  stories  of  prisoners, —  how  they  had  watched 
the  growth  of  flowers  through  cracks  in  the  pave 
ment.  She  wondered  how  long  she  could  live  with 
out  eating.  How  thankful  she  was  for  her  abundant 
breakfast. 

At  length  she  heard  the  door-bell.  But  who 
could  go  to  the  door  to  answer  it?  In  vain  did 
she  make  another  effort  to  escape ;  it  was  impossi 
ble  ! 

How  singular!  there  were  footsteps.  Some  one 
was  going  to  the  door;  some  one  had  opened  it. 
"  They  must  be  burglars."  "Well,  perhaps  that  was 
a  better  fate  —  to  be  gagged  by  burglars,  and  the 
neighbors  informed  —  than  to  be  forever  locked  on 
her  trunk.  The  steps  approached  the  door.  It 
opened,  and  Amanda  ushered  in  the  expressman. 

Amanda  had  not  gone.     She  had  gathered,  while 


226  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 

waiting  at  the  breakfast-table,  that  there  was  to  be 
an  expressman  whom  she  must  receive. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  explained  the  situation.  The 
expressman  turned  the  key  of  her  trunk,  and  she 
was  released ! 

"What  should  she  do  next?  So  long  a  time  had 
elapsed,  she  had  given  up  all  hope  of  her  family 
returning  for  her.  But  how  could  she  reach  them  ? 

She  hastily  prevailed  upon  the  expressman  to  take 
her  along  until  she  should  come  up  with  some  of  the 
family.  At  least,  she  would  fall  in  with  either  the 
walking  party  or  the  carryall,  or  she  would  meet 
them  if  they  were  on  their  return. 

She  mounted  the  seat  with  the  expressman,  and 
slowly  they  took  their  way,  stopping  for  occasional 
parcels  as  they  left  the  village. 

But  much  to  Elizabeth  Eliza's  dismay,  they  turned 
off  from  the  main  road  on  leaving  the  village.  She 
remonstrated,  but  the  driver  insisted  he  must  go 
round  by  Millikin's  to  leave  a  bedstead.  They  went 
round  by  Millikin's,  and  then  had  further  turns  to 
make.  Elizabeth  Eliza  explained  that  in  this  way 
it  would  be  impossible  for  her  to  find  her  parents 
and  family,  and  at  last  he  proposed  to  take  her  all 
the  way  with  her  trunk.  She  remembered  with  a 
shudder  that  when  she  had  first  asked  about  her 
trunk,  he  had  promised  it  should  certainly  be  deliv- 


THE  EDUCATIONAL  BREAKFAST.        227 

ered  the  next  morning.  Suppose  they  should  have 
to  be  out  all  night?  Where  did  express  carts 
spend  the  night  ?  She  thought  of  herself  in  a  lone 
wood  in  an  express  wagon !  She  could  scarcely 
bring  herself  to  ask,  before  assenting,  when  he 
should  arrive? 

"  He  guessed  he  could  bring  up  before  night." 
And  so  it  happened  that  as  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin  in  the  late  sunset  were  looking  down  the  hill, 
wondering  what  they  should  do  about  the  lost  Eliza 
beth  Eliza,  they  saw  an  express  wagon  approach 
ing.  A  female  form  sat  upon  the  front  seat. 

"  She  has  decided  to  come  by  express,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin.     "  It  is  —  it  is  —  Elizabeth  Eliza ! " 


228  THE  PETERKIN  PAPERS. 


THE   PETERKINS   AT  THE  "CARNIVAL.  OF 
AUTHORS"  IN  BOSTON. 


THE  Petcrkins  were  in  quite  a  muddle  (for  them) 
about  the  Carnival  of  Authors,  to  be  given  in  Boston. 
As  soon  as  it  was  announced,  their  interests  were 
excited,  and  they  determined  that  all  the  family 
should  go. 

But  they  conceived  a  wrong  idea  of  the  entertain 
ment,  as  they  supposed  that  every  one  must  go  in 
costume.  Elizabeth  Eliza  thought  their  lessons  in 
the  foreign  languages  would  help  them  much  in  con 
versing  in  character. 

As  the  Carnival  was  announced  early,  Solomon 
John  thought  there  would  be  tune  to  read  up  every 
thing  written  by  all  the  authors,  in  order  to  be  ac 
quainted  with  the  characters  they  introduced.  Mrs. 
Peterkin  did  not  wish  to  begin  too  early  upon  the 
reading,  for  she  was  sure  she  should  forget  all  that 
the  different  authors  had  written  before  the  day  came. 

But  Elizabeth  Eliza  declared  that  she  should 
hardly  have  time  enough  as  it  was,  to  be  acquainted 


AT   THE    "  CAimVAL   OF   AUTHORS."  229 

with  all  the  authors.  She  had  given  up  her  French 
lessons,  after  taking  six,  for  want  of  tune,  and  had 
indeed  concluded  she  had  learned  in  them  all  she 
should  need  to  know  of  that  language.  She  could 
repeat  one  or  two  pages  of  phrases,  and  she  was 
astonished  to  find  how  much  she  could  understand 
alread}r  of  what  the  French  teacher  said  to  her ;  and  he 
assured  her  that  when  she  went  to  Paris,  she  could  at 
least  ask  the  price  of  gloves,  or  of  some  other  things 
she  would  need,  and  he  taught  her,  too,  how  to  pro 
nounce  "  gar9on,"  in  calling  for  more. 

Agamemnon  thought  that  different  members  of  the 
family  might  make  themselves  familiar  with  different 
authors  ;  the  little  bo3rs  were  already  acquainted  with 
Mother  Goose.  Mr.  Peterkin  had  read  the  Pickwick 
Papers,  and  Solomon  John  had  actually  seen  Mr. 
Longfellow  getting  into  a  horse-car. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  suggested  that  they  might  ask 
the  Turk  to  give  lectures  upon  the  Arabian  Nights. 
Everj'body  else  was  planning  something  of  the  sort, 
to  "raise  funds"  for  some  purpose,  and  she  was 
sure  they  ought  not  to  be  behindhand.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
approved  of  this.  It  would  be  excellent  if  they  could 
raise  funds  enough  to  pay  for  their  own  tickets  to 
the  Carnival ;  then  they  could  go  every  night. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  was  uncertain.  She  thought  it 
was  usual  to  use  the  funds  for  some  object.  Mr. 


230  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

Peterkin  said  that  if  they  gained  funds  enough  they 
might  arrange  a  booth  of  their  own,  and  sit  in  it, 
and  take  the  Carnival  comfortabl}'.  But  Agamem 
non  reminded  him  that  none  of  the  family  were 
authors,  and  only  authors  had  booths.  Solomon 
John,  indeed,  had  once  started  upon  writing  a  book, 
but  he  was  not  able  to  think  of  anything  to  put  in  it, 
and  nothing  had  occurred  to  him  yet. 

Mr.  Peterkin  urged  him  to  make  one  more  effort. 
If  his  book  could  come  out  before  the  Carnival,  he 
could  go  as  an  author,  and  might  have  a  booth  of  his 
own,  and  take  his  family. 

But  Agamemnon  declared  it  would  take  j'ears  to 
become  an  author.  You  might  indeed  publish  some 
thing,  but  you  had  to  make  sure  that  it  would  be 
read.  Mrs.  Peterkin,  on  the  other  hand,  was  certain 
that  libraries  were  filled  with  books  that  never  were 
read,  yet  authors  had  written  them.  For  herself, 
she  had  not  read  half  the  books  in  their  own  library. 
And  she  was  glad  there  was  to  be  a  Carnival  of 
Authors,  that  she  might  know  who  they  were. 

Mr.  Peterkin  did  not  understand  why  they  called 
them  a  "  Carnival,"  but  he  supposed  they  should 
find  out,  when  they  went  to  it. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  still  felt  uncertain  about  costumes. 
She  proposed  looking  over  the  old  trunks  in  the  gar 
ret.  They  would  find  some  suitable  dresses  there, 


AT  THE  "CARNIVAL  OF  AUTHORS."          231 

and  these  would  suggest  what  characters  they  should 
take.  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  pleased  with  this  thought. 
She  remembered  an  old  turban  of  white  mull  muslin, 
in  an  old  band-box,  and  why  should  not  her  mother 
wear  it  ? 

Mrs.  Peterkin  supposed  that  she  should  then  go 
as  her  own  grandmother. 

Agamemnon  did  not  approve  of  this.  Turbans 
are  now  worn  in  the  East,  and  Mrs.  Peterkin  could 
go  in  some  Eastern  character.  Solomon  John  thought 
she  might  be  Cleopatra,  and  this  was  determined  on. 
Among  the  treasures  found  were  some  old  bonnets 
of  large  size,  with  waving  plumes.  Elizabeth  Eliza 
decided  upon  the  largest  of  these. 

She  was  tempted  to  appear  as  Mrs.  Columbus,  as 
Solomon  John  was  to  take  the  character  of  Chris 
topher  Columbus  ;  but  he  was  planning  to  enter  upon 
the  stage  in  a  boat,  and  Elizabeth  Eliza  was  a  little 
afraid  of  sea-sickness,  as  he  had  arranged  to  be  a 
great  while  finding  the  shore. 

Solomon  John  had  been  led  to  take  this  character 
by  discovering  a  coal-hod  that  would  answer  for  a 
helmet ;  then,  as  Christopher  Columbus  was  born  in 
Genoa,  he  could  use  the  phrases  in  Italian  he  had 
lately  learned  of  his  teacher. 

As  the  day  approached  the  family  had  their  cos 
tumes  prepared. 


232  THE  PETERKIX  PAPERS. 

Mr.  Peterkin  decided  to  be  Peter  the  Great.  It 
seemed  to  him  a  happy  thought,  for  the  few  words  of 
Russian  he  had  learned  would  come  in  play,  and  he 
was  quite  sure  that  his  own  family  name  made  him 
kin  to  that  of  the  great  Czar.  He  studied  up  the 
life  in  the  Encyclopaedia,  and  decided  to  take  the  cos 
tume  of  a  ship-builder.  He  visited  the  navy-j'ard  and 
some  of  the  docks,  but  none  of  them  gave  him  the 
true  idea  of  dress,  for  ship-building  in  Holland  or  St. 
Petersburg.  But  he  found  a  picture  of  Peter  the 
Great,  representing  him  in  a  broad  brimmed  hat. 
So  he  assumed  one  that  he  found  at  a  costumer's, 
and  with  Elizabeth  Eliza's  black  water-proof,  was 
satisfied  with  his  own  appearance. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  wondered  if  she  could  not  go  with 
her  father  in  some  Russian  character.  She  would 
have  to  lay  aside  her  large  bonnet,  but  she  had  seen 
pictures  of  Russian  ladies,  with  fur  muffs  on  their 
heads,  and  she  might  wear  her  own  muff. 

Mrs.  Peterkin,  as  Cleopatra,  wore  the  turban,  with 
a  little  row  of  false  curls  in  front,  and  a  white  em 
broidered  muslin  shawl  crossed  over  her  black  silk 
dress.  The  little  bo}rs  thought  she  looked  much  like 
the  picture  of  their  great-grandmother.  But  doubt 
less  Cleopatra  resembled  this  picture,  as  it  was  all  so 
long  ago,  so  the  rest  of  the  family  decided. 

Agamemnon  determined  to  go  as  Noah.     The 


AT  THE  "CARNIVAL  OF  AUTHORS."          233 

costume,  as  represented  in  one  of  the  little  boys'  arks, 
was  simple.  His  father's  red-lined  dressing-gown, 
turned  inside  out,  permitted  it  easily. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  was  now  anxious  to  be  Mrs.  Shem, 
and  make  a  long  dress  of  yellow  flannel,  and  appear 
with  Agamemnon  and  the  little  boys.  For  the  little 
boys  were  to  represent  two  doves  and  a  raven.  There 
were  feather-dusters  enough  in  the  family  for  their 
costumes,  which  would  be  then  complete  with  their 
india-rubber  boots. 

Solomon  John  earned  out  in  detail  his  idea  of 
Christopher  Columbus.  He  had  a  number  of  eggs 
boiled  hard  to  take  in  his  pocket,  proposing  to  repeat 
through  the  evening,  the  scene  of  setting  the  egg  on 
its  end.  He  gave  up  the  plan  of  a  boat,  as  it  must 
be  difficult  to  carry  one  into  town,  so  he  contented 
himself  by  practising  the  motion  of  landing  by  step 
ping  up  on  a  chair. 

But  what  scene  could  Elizabeth  Eliza  carry  out? 
If  they  had  an  ark,  as  Mrs.  Shem  she  might  crawl 
in  and  out  of  the  roof  constantly,  if  it  were  not  too 
high.  But  Mr.  Peterkin  thought  it  as  difficult  to 
take  an  ark  into  town,  as  Solomon  John's  boat. 

The  evening  came.  But  with  all  their  preparations 
they  got  to  the  hall  late.  The  entrance  was  filled 
with  a  crowd  of  people,  and  as  they  stopped  at  the 
cloak-room  to  leave  their  wraps,  they  found  them- 


234  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

selves  entangled  with  a  number  of  people  in  costume 
coming  out  from  a  dressing-room  below.  Mr.  Peter- 
kin  was  much  encouraged.  The}'  were  thus  joining 
the  performers.  The  band  was  phsying  the  "Wed 
ding  March,"  as  they  went  up-stairs  to  a  door  of  the 
hall,  which  opened  upon  one  side  of  the  stage.  Here 
a  procession  was  marching  up  the  steps  of  the  stage, 
all  in  costume,  and  entering  behind  the  scenes. 

"  We  are  just  in  the  right  time,"  whispered  Mr. 
Peterkin  to  his  family ;  "they  are  going  upon  the 
stage  ;  we  must  fall  into  line." 

The  little  bo3*s  had  their  feather-dusters  ready. 

Some  words  from  one  of  the  managers  made  Mr. 
Peterkin  understand  the  situation. 

"  We  are  going  to  be  introduced  to  Mr.  Dickens," 
he  said. 

"  I  thought  he  was  dead  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Peter- 
kin,  trembling. 

"  Authors  live  forever  !  "  said  Agamemnon  in  her 
ear. 

At  this  moment  they  were  ushered  upon  the  stage. 

The  stage  manager  glared  at  them,  as  he  awaited 
their  names  for  introduction,  while  they  came  up  all 
unannounced,  a  part  of  the  programme  not  expected. 
But  he  uttered  the  words  upon  his  lips%  "  Great 
Expectations  ; "  and  the  Peterkin  famil}-  swept  across 
the  stage  with  the  rest :  Mr.  Peterkin  costumed  as 


AT  THE  "CARNIVAL  or  AUTHORS."          235 

Peter  the  Great,  Mrs.  Peterkin  as  Cleopatra,  Aga 
memnon  as  Noah,  Solomon  John  as  Christopher 
Columbus,  Elizabeth  Eliza  in  yellow  flannel  as  Mrs. 
Shem,  -with  a  large  old-fashioned  bonnet  on  her  head 
as  Mrs.  Columbus,  and  the  little  boys  behind  as  two 
doves  and  a  raven. 

Across  the  stage,  in  face  of  all  the  assembled 
people,  then  following  the  -rest  down  the  stab's  on  the 
other  side,  in  among  the  audience,  they  went;  but 
into  an  audience  not  dressed  in  costume ! 

There  were  Ann  Maria  Bromwick  and  the 
Osbornes,  —  all  the  neighbors,  —  all  as  natural  as 
though  they  were  walking  the  streets  at  home, 
though  Ann  Maria  did  wear  white  gloves. 

"  I  had  no  idea  you  were  to  appear  in  character," 
said  Ann  Maria  to  Elizabeth  Eliza ;  "  to  what  booth 
do  you  belong  ?  " 

"  We  are  no  particular  author,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"Ah,  I  see,  a  sort  of  varieties'  booth,"  said  Mr. 
Osborne. 

"What  is  your  character?"  asked  Ann  Maria  of 
Elizabeth  Eliza. 

"  I  have  not  quite  decided,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza. 
"  I  thought  I  should  find  out  after  I  came  here.  The 
marshal  called  us  '  Great  Expectations.' " 

Mrs.  Peterkin  was  at  the  summit  of  bliss.  "  I 
have  shaken  hands  with  Dickens  !  "  she  exclaimed. 


236  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

But  she  looked  round  to  ask  the  little  boys  if  they, 
too,  had  shaken  hands  with  the  great  man,  but  not  a 
little  boy  could  she  find. 

They  had  been  swept  off  in  Mother  Goose's  train, 
which  had  lingered  on  the  steps  to  see  the  Dickens' 
reception,  with  which  the  procession  of  characters  in 
costume  had  closed.  At  this  moment  they  were 
dancing  round  the  barberry  bush,  in  a  corner  of  the 
balcony  in  Mother  Goose's  quarters,  their  feather- 
dusters  gayly  waving  in  the  air. 

But  Mrs.  Peterkin,  far  below,  could  not  see  this, 
and  consoled  herself  with  the  thought,  they  should 
all  meet  on  the  stage  in  the  grand  closing  tableau. 
She  was  bewildered  by  the  crowds  which  swept  her 
hither  and  thither.  At  last  she  found  herself  in  the 
Whittier  Booth,  and  sat  a  long  time  calmly  there. 
As  Cleopatra,  she  seemed  out  of  place,  but  as  her 
own  grandmother  she  answered  well  with  its  New 
England  scenery. 

Solomon  John  wandered  about,  landing  in  Amer 
ica  whenever  he  found  a  chance  to  enter  a  booth. 
Once  before  an  admiring  audience  he  set  up  his  egg 
in  the  centre  of  the  Goethe  Booth,  which  had  been 
deserted  by  its  committee,  for  the  larger  stage. 

Agamemnon  frequently  stood  in  the  background  of 
scenes  in  the  Arabian  Nights. 

It  was  with  difficulty  that  the  family  could  be  re- 


AT  THE  "CARNIVAL  OF  AUTHORS."          237 

pressed  from  going  on  the  stage  whenever  the  bugle 
sounded  for  the  different  groups  represented  there. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  came  near  appearing  in  the  ' '  Dream 
of  Fair  Women,"  at  its  most  culminating  point. 

Mr.  Peterkin  found  himself  with  the  "  Cricket  on 
the  Hearth,"  in  the  Dickens  Booth.  He  explained 
that  he  was  Peter  the  Great,  but  always  in  the  Rus 
sian  language,  which  was  never  understood. 

Elizabeth  Eliza  found  herself,  in  turn,  in  all  the 
booths.  Every  manager  was  puzzled  by  her  appear 
ance,  and  would  send  her  to  some  other,  and  she 
passed  along,  always  trying  to  explain  that  she  had 
not  yet  decided  upon  her  character. 

Mr.  Peterkin  came  and  took  Cleopatra  from  the 
Whittier  Booth. 

"I  cannot  understand,"  he  said,  "why  none  of 
our  friends  are  dressed  in  costume,  and  why  we  are." 

"  I  rather  like  it,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza,  "  though 
I  should  be  better  pleased  if  I  could  form  a  group 
with  some  one." 

The  strains  of  the  minuet  began.  Mrs.  Peterkin 
was  anxious  to  join  the  performers.  It  was  the 
dance  of  her  youth. 

But  she  was  dela3Ted  by  one  of  the  managers  on 
the  steps  that  led  to  the  stage. 

"  I  cannot  understand  this  company,"  he  said,  dis 
tractedly. 


238  THE   PETERKIN   TAPERS. 

"  They  cannot  find  their  booth,"  said  another. 

"That  is  the  case,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin,  relieved  to 
have  it  stated. 

"  Perhaps  you  had  better  pass  into  the  corridor," 
said  a  polite  marshal. 

They  did  this,  and  walking  across,  found  them 
selves  in  the  refreshment- room.  "  This  is  the  booth 
for  us,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"  Indeed  it  is,",  said  Mrs.  Peterkin,  sinking  into  a 
chair,  exhausted. 

At  this  moment  two  doves  and  a  raven  appeared — 
the  little  boys,  who  had  been  dancing  eagerly  in 
Mother  Goose's  establishment,  and  now  came  down 
for  ice-cream. 

"  I  hardl}r  know  how  to  sit  down,"  said  Elizabeth 
Eliza,  "  for  I  am  sure  Mrs.  Shem  never  could.  Still, 
as  I  do  not  know  if  I  am  Mrs.  Shem,  I  will  venture 
it." 

Happily,  seats  were  to  be  found  for  all,  and  they 
were  soon  arranged  in  a  row,  calmly  eating  ice 
cream. 

"  I  think  the  truth  is,"  said  Mr.  Peterkiu,  "  that 
we  represent  historical  people,  and  we  ought  to  have 
been  fictitious  characters  in  books.  That  is,  I  ob 
serve,  what  the  others  are.  We  shall  know  better 
another  time." 

"  If  we  only  ever  get  home,"  said  Mrs.  Peterkin, 


AT   THE    "  CARNIVAL   OF   AUTHORS."  239 

"I  shall  not  wish  to  come  again.  It  seems  like 
being  on  the  stage,  sitting  in  a  booth,  and  it  is  so 
bewildering,  Elizabeth  Eliza  not  knowing  who  she 
is,  and  going  round  and  round  in  this  way." 

"I  am  afraid  we  shall  never  reach  home,"  said 
Agamemnon,  who  had  been  silent  for  some  time ; 
"we  may  have  to  spend  the  night  here.  I  find  I 
have  lost  our  checks  for  our  clothes  in  the  cloak 
room  ! " 

"Spend  the  night  in  a  booth,  in  Cleopatra's  tur 
ban  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"  We  should  like  to  come  every  night,"  cried  the 
little  boys. 

"  But  to  spend  the  night,"  repeated  Mrs.  Peterkin. 

"  I  conclude  the  Carnival  keeps  up  all  night,"  said 
Mr.  Peterkin. 

"  But  never  to  recover  our  cloaks,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin  ;  "  could  not  the  little  boys  look  round  for 
the  checks  on  the  floors  ?  " 

She  began  to  enumerate  the  many  valuable  things 
that  they  might  never  see  again.  She  had  worn  her 
large  fur  cape  of  stone-marten — her  grandmother's — 
that  Elizabeth  Eliza  had  been  urging  her  to  have 
made  into  a  foot-rug.  Now  how  she  wished  she  had  ! 
And  there  were  Mr.  Petarkin's  new  overshoes,  and 
Agamemnon  had  brought  an  umbrella,  and  the  little 
boys  had  their  mittens.  Their  india-rubber  boots, 


240  THE   PETERK1N    PAPERS. 

fortunately,  they  had  on,  in  the  character  of  birds. 
But  Solomon  John  had  worn  a  fur  cap,  and  Elizabeth 
Eliza  a  muff.  Should  they  lose  all  these  valuables 
entirely,  and  go  home  in  the  cold  without  them? 
No,  it  would  be  better  to  wait  till  everj'body  had 
gone,  and  then  look  carefully  over  the  floors  for  the 
checks ;  if  only  the  little  boys  could  know  where 
Agamemnon  had  been,  they  were  willing  to  look. 
Mr.  Peterkin  was  not  sure  as  they  would  have  time 
to  reach  the  train.  Still,  the}'  would  need  something 
to  wear,  and  he  could. not  tell  the  time.  He  had  not 
brought  his  watch.  It  was  a  "Waltham  watch,  and 
he  thought  it  would  not  bo  in  character  for  Peter  the 
Great  to  wear  it. 

At  this  moment,  the  strains  of  "Home,  Sweet 
Home"  were  heard  from  the  band,  and  people  were 
seen  preparing  to  go, 

"  All  can  go  home,  but  we  must  stay,"  said  Mrs. 
Peterkin,  gloomily,  as  the  well-known  strains  floated 
in  from  the  larger  hall. 

A  number  of  marshals  came  to  the  refreshment- 
room,  looked  at  them,  whispered  to  each  other,  as 
the  Peter  kins  sat  in  a  row. 

' '  Can  we  do  anything  for  you  ?  "  asked  one  at  last. 
"Would  }'ou  not  like  to  go?"  He  seemed  eager 
they  should  leave  the  room. 

Mr.  Peterkin  explained  that  they  could  not  go,  as 


AT  THE    "  CARNIVAL   OP   AUTHORS."  241 

they  had  lost  the  checks  for  their  wraps,  arid  hoped 
to  find  their  checks  on  the  floor  when  everybody  was 
gone.  The  marshal  asked  if  they  could  not  describe 
what  they  had  worn,  in  which  case  the  loss  of  the 
checks  was  not  so  important,  as  the  crowds  had  now 
almost  left,  and  it  would  not  be  difficult  to  identify 
their  wraps.  Mrs.  Peterkin  eagerly  declared  she 
could  describe  every  article. 

It  was  astonishing  how  the  marshals  hurried  them 
through  the  quickly  deserted  corridors,  how  gladly 
they  recovered  their  garments !  Mrs.  Peterkin,  in 
deed,  was  disturbed  by  the  eagerness  of  the  marshals  ; 
she  feared  they  had  some  pretext  for  getting  the 
family  out  of  the  hall.  Mrs.  Peterkin  was  one  of 
those  who  never  consent  to  be  forced  to  anything. 
She  would  not  be  compelled  to  go  home  even  with 
strains  of  music.  She  whispered  her  suspicions  to 
Mr.  Peterkin ;  but  Agamemnon  came  hastily  up  to 
announce  the  time,  which  he  had  learned  from  the 
clock  in  the  large  hall.  They  must  leave  directly, 
if  they  wished  to  catch  the  latest  train,  as  there  was 
barely  time  to  reach  it. 

Then,  indeed,  was  Mrs.  Peterkin  ready  to  leave. 
If  they  should  miss  the  train !  If  she  should  have  to 
pass  the  night  in  the  streets  in  her  turban.  She  was 
the  first  to  lead  the  way,  and,  panting,  the  family 
followed  her,  just  in  time  to  take  the  tram  as  it  was 
leaving  the  station. 


242  THE    PETERKIN    PAPERS. 

The  excitement  was  not  yet  over.  The}7  found  in 
the  train,  many  of  their  friends  and  neighbors,  re 
turning  also  from  the  Carnival,  so  they  had  many 
questions  put  to  them  which  they  were  unable  to 
answer.  Still  Mrs.  Peterkin's  turban  was  much 
admired,  and  indeed  the  whole  appearance  of  the 
family,  so  that  they  felt  themselves  much  repaid  for 
their  exertions. 

But  more  adventures  awaited  them.  They  left  the 
train  with  their  friends ;  but  as  Mrs.  Peterkin  and 
Elizabeth  Eliza  were  very  tired,  they  walked  very 
slowly,  and  Solomon  John  and  the  little  boys  were 
sent  on  with  the  pass-key  to  open  the  door.  They 
soon  returned  with  the  startling  intelligence  that  it 
was  not  the  right  key,  and  they  could  not  get  in.  It 
was  Mr.  Peterkiu's  office-key,  he  had  taken  by  mis 
take,  or  he  might  have  dropped  the  house-key  in  the 
cloak-room  of  the  Carnival. 

"  Must  we  go  back,"  sighed  Mrs.  Peterkin,  in  an 
exhausted  voice.  More  than  ever  did  Elizabeth 
Eliza  regret  that  Agamemnon's  invention  in  keys  had 
failed  to  secure  a  patent ! 

It  was  impossible  to  get  into  the  house,  for 
A-manda  had  been  allowed  to  go  and  spend  the  night 
with  a  friend,  so  there  was  no  use  in  ringing,  though 
the  little  boys  had  tried  it. 

"  We  can  return  to  the  station,"  said  Mr.  Peter- 


AT   THE    ' '  CARNIVAL   OF   AUTHORS."  243 

kin ;  ' '  the  rooms  will  be  warm  on  account  of  the 
midnight  train.  We  can  at  least  think  what  we 
shall  do  next." 

At  the  station  was  one  of  their  neighbors  pro 
posing  to  take  the  New  York  midnight  train,  for  it 
was  now  after  eleven,  and  the  train  went  through  at 
half-past. 

"  I  saw  lights  at  the  locksmith's  over  the  way,  as  I 
passed,"  he  said ;  "  why  do  not  you  send  over  to  the 
young  man  there  ?  He  can  get  your  door  open  for 
you.  I  never  would  spend  the  night  here." 

Solomon  John  went  over  to  "the  young  man," 
who  agreed  to  go  up  to  the  house  as  soon  as  he  had 
closed  the  shop,  fit  a  key,  and  open  the  door,  and 
come  back  to  them  on  his  way  home.  Solomon 
John  came  back  to  the  station,  for  it  was  now  cold 
and  windy  in  the  deserted  streets.  The  family  made 
themselves  as  comfortable  as  possible  by  the  stove, 
sending  Solomon  John  out  occasionally  to  look  for 
the  young  man.  But  somehow,  Solomon  John 
missed  him ;  the  lights  were  out  in  the  locksmith's 
shop,  so  he  followed  along  to  the  house,  hoping  to 
find  him  there.  But  he  was  not  there !  He  came 
back  to  report.  Perhaps  the  young  man  had  opened 
the  door  and  gone  on  home.  Solomon  John  and 
Agamemnon  went  back  together,  but  they  could  not 
get  in.  Where  was  the  young  man  ?  He  had  lately 


244  THE    PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

come  to  town,  and  nobody  knew  where  he  lived,  for 
on  the  return  of  Solomon  John  and  Agamemnon  it 
had  been  proposed  to  go  to  the  house  of  the  young 
man.  The  night  was  wearing  on.  The  midnight 
train  had  come  and  gone.  The  passengers  who  came 
and  went  looked  with  wonder  at  Mrs.  Peterkiu  nod 
ding  in  her  turban,  as  she  sat  by  the  stove,  on  a 
corner  of  a  long  bench.  At  last,  the  station-master 
had  to  leave,  for  a  short  rest.  He  felt  obliged  to 
lock  up  the  station,  but  he  promised  to  return  at  an 
early  hour  to  release  them. 

"  Of  what  use,"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza,  "  if  we  can 
not  even  then  get  into  our  own  house." 

Mr.  Peterkin  thought  the  matter  appeared  bad,  if 
the  locksmith  had  left  town.  He  feared  the  young 
man  might  have  gone  in,  and  helped  himself  to 
spoons,  and  left.  Only  they  should  have  seen  him, 
if  he  had  taken  the  midnight  train.  Solomon  John 
thought  he  appeared  honest.  Mr.  Peterkin  only  ven 
tured  to  whisper  his  suspicions,  as  he  did  not  wish  to 
arouse  Mrs.  Peterkin,  who  still  was  nodding  in  the 
corner  of  the  long  bench. 

Morning  did  come  at  last.  The  family  decided  to 
go  to  their  home  ;  perhaps  by  some  effort  in  the  early 
daylight  they  might  make  an  entrance. 

On  the  way  they  met  with  the  night-policeman  re 
turning  from  his  beat.  He  stopped  when  he  saw  the 
family. 


AT  THE    "  CARNIVAL   OF   AUTHORS."  245 

u  Ah,  that  accounts,"  he  said  ;  "you  were  all  out 
last  night,  and  the  burglars  took  occasion  to  make  a 
raid  on  your  house.  I  caught  a  lively  young  man  in 
the  very  act ;  box  of  tools  in  his  hand !  If  I  had 
been  a  minute  late,  he  would  have  made  his  way 
in " 

The  family  then  tried  to  interrupt  —  to  explain  — 

"  Where  is  he?"  exclaimed  Mr.  Peterkin. 

"Safe  in  the  lock-up,"  answered  the  policeman. 
"But  he  is  the  locksmith!"  interrupted  Solomon 
John. 

"We  have  no  key!"  said  Elizabeth  Eliza ;  "if 
you  have  locked  up  the  locksmith  we  can  never  get 
in." 

The  policeman  looked  from  one  to  the  other, 
smiling  slightly  when  he  understood  the  case. 

"  The  locksmith !"  he  exclaimed;  "he  is  a  new 
fellow,  and  I  did  not  recognize  him,  and  arrested 
him  !  Very  well,  I  will  go  and  let  him  out  that  he 
may  let  you  in ! "  and  he  hurried  away,  surprising  the 
Peterkin  family  with  what  seemed  like  insulting 
screams  of  laughter. 

' '  It  seems  to  me  a  more  serious  case  than  it 
appears  to  him,"  said  Mr.  Peterkin. 

Mrs.  Peterkin  did  not  understand  it  at  all.  Had 
burglars  entered  the  house  ?  Did  the  policeman  say 
they  had  taken  spoons  ?  And  why  did  he  appear  so 


246  THE   PETERKIN   PAPERS. 

pleased?  She  was  sure  the  old  silver  teapot  was 
locked  up  in  the  closet  of  their  room.  Slowly  the 
family  walked  towards  the  house,  and  almost  as  soon 
as  they,  the  policeman  appeared  with  the  released 
locksmith,  and  a  few  boys  from  the  street,  who  hap 
pened  to  be  out  early. 

The  locksmith  was  not  in  very  good  humor,  and 
took  ill  the  jokes  of  the  policeman.  Mr.  Peterkin, 
fearing  he  might  not  consent  to  open  the  door, 
pressed  into  his  hand  a  large  sum  of  money.  The 
door  flew  open ;  the  family  could  go  in.  Amanda 
arrived  at  the  same  moment.  There  was  hope  of 
breakfast.  Mrs.  Peterkin  staggered  towards  the 
stairs.  "  I  shall  never  go  to  another  Carnival !  "  she 
exclaimed. 


